Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic I don't know what to do anymore... Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]ShitTheRainbowxdyk3[/m] at 11:53 pm on July 24, 2008[quote]Again with the Insane Clown Posse. or write. a lot.[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post NotTheGirlNextDoor Posted at 11:43 pm on July 24, 2008 Hmm I don't know where to start. I've changed this summer so much. I am hanging with people that I thought was crazy. I don't even listen to the same type of music... I started cutting, poking myself with needles.I am always depressed about things. when things start looking good in my life things turn for the worst... My parents fight all the time, they don't go a hour with out fighting about something, and its always something dumb.... If my parents fight they take things out on me and bitch at me for no reason... I am a home schooled kid, my parents want me to be home schooled and they won't let me go to a real* high school. I only have two more years left in high school and I wanted them to be spent at a real high school but I don't think that's going to happen... I started cutting and poking my arm a few days ago and my parents didn't even see the cuts yet, that shows how much they really look at me... I don't know what to do anymore. I always feel alone in this world and no one seems to care about me... I have lots of other things going on in my life right now but I don't feel like typing it all right now. and i even feel weird making this topic because I feel like I might be annoying people by doing this...

Replies St Jimmy Posted at 1:34 pm on July 25, 2008 Don't worry your not annoying anyone, this site is for getting support and your using it correctly. I belive that self harm starts when your little with little things suck as pinching yourself to balling up your fists and digging your nails into your plams, I used to hit things and people with intent to hurt myself instead of the other person and still hit walls do which is a bad habit. If you want to ease yourself off the cutting that your doing then I would go back to these ways of hurting that I used to do when i was little. Some idiots will say "stop" and expect it to help you but I know it won't. If you stop the cutting allt ogether and continue the poking with the needles on places like the top of your legs and not near anywhere with veins. Then try and ease yourself onto pinching the top of your thigh or your ear quite hard but without drawing blood. Eventually a breif tap on your hand will be all you have to do. This has worked for me before. That is if you want to stop cutting. You could also on the other hand seek proffetional attention which may alert your parents.     About the issues with high school. Talk to your parents and say you need some friends and some life experience before you go on to college / get a job. Really open your hearts to them and say you are old enough now to think about htings yourself. If they continue to say no just stay strong. Good Luck bluedog Posted at 1:39 am on July 25, 2008 You sound like me...like do you feel alone A LOT? even though people are there with you? And do you think one way or the opposite. for example, like one moment it's like "oh they fucking hate me" and the next it's like "oh I know they love me, i love them too" cause if your feeling like this, and it happens alot, and you've been feeling like that for awhile, and your acting out in a way that other find unreasonable (which you are, your self mutilating) then you could have borderline perosonality disorder. I feel like that alot. Reading that made it feel like ihad wrote it. I feel that way ALL THE TIME though. Most may feel that way from time to time, but people with borderline don't, if affects our lives deeply. You should check it out. And the fact that you had cut, yet didn't tell them, yet you expect them to notice, but at the same time, you don't think they would care even if they did.....lol confusing right. But that's what im getting from what you wrote, and if so, then yeah, that's def borderline right there. I do it all the time, to everyone around me. friends, family, and boyfriend. And it sucks. Fountain of Salmacis Posted at 12:00 am on July 25, 2008 Don't worry about typing this out as you're not annoying me; I just simply don't know if I can help or not but I'll do my best. First of all, what made you change things this summer? Is it your family life? Or just the headaches of being a teenager? Unfortunately you're probably not going to be able to change your parents' fighting, but if you can find the time to talk to them either individually or together (if they're willing), try talking to them and let them know what you're going through. Tell them (not necessarily the cutting) about what's on your mind, what is bugging you. Maybe if they realize the hurt they are causing you they may take a look at the amount of arguing they're doing. They may not stop completely, but maybe they'll cut back or at least stop blaming you for things when it's not your fault. Have you been home schooled your entire life? If you have, maybe your parents would let you go to a "real" high school for your last two years or last year if you explain to them why you want to go. Let them know that you've missed out on a lot of things over the years by being home schooled and while you're grateful for them taking the time to educate you, you'd like to spend at least one or even two years in an environment where you can learn among your peers and experience the things that you've missed out on in the past. I know it may sound impossible to do, but one of the most important things between parents and their children is communication, and a lot of the time that doesn't happen. Make yourself known to them (in a respectful way) and try to talk to them and let them know what is going on in your head. If you don't, things may never change and you'll probably look back on your teen years with shame and/or regret. acausedelle Posted at 11:55 pm on July 24, 2008 I too suffer with depression. It is an everyday struggle, I know. I went through a period in my life where everything went wrong. I started cutting myself. That was the only thing that could really take away the pain. I told my brother about it, and he helped me get help. I quit self-harming by listening to uplifting music when I felt like harming myself. If you think your friends are the ones that are causing your pain, then don't hang out with them anymore. My parents fight a lot now, and it is very hard to deal with. My mom bitches at me for no reason now, and I often get grounded for weeks for the stupidest reasons. It is temporary though. She is getting nicer, and I believe that your parents will be nicer too. It just takes a little time. Try talking to a school counselor or someone you trust. They can help you greatly. If you want to go to a real high school that badly, then maybe you should talk to your parents about it, but believe me, it is not all that it is cracked up to be. There are rumors, cliques, and all that stuff that you don't want to deal with. If you think that you really want to go to one, then just talk to your parents or someone you trust. They can help. My life was really bad until I started being more optimistic. That is what really made my life better. It may be hard sometimes, but I believe that you can do it! You can PM me if you want to talk. ShitTheRainbowxdyk3 Posted at 11:53 pm on July 24, 2008 Again with the Insane Clown Posse. or write. a lot. NotTheGirlNextDoor Posted at 11:49 pm on July 24, 2008 Quote: from Missyjane at 11:48 pm on July 24, 2008 masturbate? Doesn't help me..   Missyjane Posted at 11:48 pm on July 24, 2008 masturbate? ShitTheRainbowxdyk3 Posted at 11:45 pm on July 24, 2008 ICP saved me from the depression. Now I'm just violent and crazy. Puke instead of cut? and masturbate. It helps too. I also look to my friends for support. All 8 previous replies displayed.