Let's say...there are 10 thoughts occupying my mind...at least 5 of them will be focused on the rape. And it happened two years ago.
There are moments in which it's just a back thought and others where they flood me. Moments in which I can't breathe, walk, think...
My situation was quite different to yours, as I was abused as a child. And nowadays, I quite often go through a day without thinking about it at all. A few years ago, I would be thinking about it at least once an hour. But I've spent years upon years trying to heal myself, and have got to the point where I'm okay with it now. Not okay enough to go out broadcasting it, or to tell my family, or to ever be able to go onto the likes of a talkshow to raise awareness, but I'm definitely more calm and cool about the whole issue, and I no longer am repulsed by myself.
If you want a chat, reply to this post and I'll PM you.
there are good movies or TV that feature rape victims as the star role. e.g. Mary from Las Vegas was raped by her own dad a long time ago, and now she has become a healthy, happy and most importantly STRONG and INDEPENDENT woman.