The latest twist in my life, at which the Gods are laughing at, is my failing all my classes.

Over the summer, I got the opportunity to go on this Study Abroad program. It opened my eyes to how much I loved learning, and I decided that when I got back to school, I would try extra hard, because it is worth it.

Fast forward to the fifth week of school, where I am at least 10x more alert in the classroom, making a point to do my homework (well, I forgot once in math), really trying to soak up the material, and I have a straight c average.

I have three AP classes and two on level classes. My grades in each type of class is exactly the same. I actually have a failing average in my on level class.

I am just tired of everything always going wrong. In the most important year of my academic career, I am going to fail out.

I am going to kill myself (well, perhaps not literally. but I certainly don't think I have much to live for), because I clearly can't contribute anything in society.

I have never done phenomenally well in school, some b's and a's, but now, I am failing.

Like I fail in school, I also fail in life with my suckass personality and inability to excel elsewhere.

I am just a waste of space. I wonder if truly giving up might actually get more in a better place than trying.

Oh, and my mom just lost her job, and my hair is falling out.