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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Teen Depression & Emotional Imbalance / Adding Reply

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Topic The sadder I feel, the further I push people away. :/
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Original Post
Ad libitum Posted at 10:35 am on Nov. 20, 2008
Does anyone else feel like they push people away at the wrong time? Like when you really need the help, when you start feeling sad and need someone to talk to, you just kind of push them away?

It's the situation I'm in at the moment. Last Saturday I opened up to my flat mate about personal problems (a liberating experience for someone so ''bottled''), well now I just want to push her away because it's like she knows too much even though I gave her that power to begin with. On a physical level, I don't want her to hug me again like she did once before as she slept with someone I liked and it would just feel weird, even though when she first hugged me (before any of this) it was reassuring and nice.

This girl, (Vicky), asked me if I wanted to talk (this was by text) and I said I thought it would be best if I was alone. She just sent one back saying she hopes I feel better soon, and that if I need anything to let her know.

This lecturer of mine keeps suggesting counselling, but I just don't trust strangers. The ones I've seen before have seemed intimidating, and plus the workload is getting tougher, so I have little spare time as it is.

I just feel so messed up.

Replies
Catacomb Posted at 1:20 pm on Nov. 22, 2008
as long as you are okay with pushing people away and people are okay with this
you shouldnt classify yourself as 'messed up'
this probably wont sound too helpful but concentrate less on the content and more on the actual response
theyareAs Posted at 8:38 pm on Nov. 20, 2008
i dnt but someone i care about does alot
Aliboo Posted at 5:28 pm on Nov. 20, 2008
Its a common thing to do, we often dont know how to explain the situation to others. If you need someone you can lean on me or someone else here, and i promise you wont be a burden.
iconoclast Posted at 4:36 pm on Nov. 20, 2008
Yeah, I felt like that a lot. It's because people in general have a tendency to not really understand what the hell you're talking about, and the more you open up, I guess the more upset you feel about that. It sounds like nervous that your room mate doesn't truly understand what you're going through, and unfortunately I'd say that this isn't at all uncommon, but give it a little time.

If you want to go to counseling go ahead, but I wouldn't spill EVERYTHING (counselors can have negative reactions to 'shocking' things) and I would go with a clear objective. I wasted so much time in therapy just ranting on and on getting nowhere, but when I was in control with an objective, a lot of good things happened. This wasn't even to do with myself, just with my parents. Nevertheless, there could be some good counselors that are genuinely helpful with serious emotional problems, but from what I've seen, don't expect it.

I think you need to find someone that has had similar experiences, you'll probably feel more comfortable opening up to them.

liv21 Posted at 10:46 am on Nov. 20, 2008
Quote: from Ad libitum at 10:35 am on Nov. 20, 2008

well now I just want to push her away because it's like she knows too much even though I gave her that power to begin with.

This is how I feel all the time.  I know I have people I can trust, but I don't even like myself when I'm down in the dumps, how can I expect anyone ELSE to?

Well, either way I think you'll be okay.  Just keep chugging along...

Rayne237 Posted at 10:43 am on Nov. 20, 2008
To do something how ever small, to the highest ambition, the  most elevating hope, which can inspire a human being.
kbaby22 Posted at 10:43 am on Nov. 20, 2008
yep. i get sad then depressed and that makes me feel unwanted by everyone even if they're being nice. then i get in a bad mood and eventually ppl just dont wanna hear it anymore.
Krebons Posted at 10:42 am on Nov. 20, 2008
Okay, u push people away so your sad

Your sad so you push people away?

I recommend you watch the ending of Life of Brian

AmazingRed Posted at 10:40 am on Nov. 20, 2008
I have a habit of getting close to someone, usually a girl, then pushing her away when I find out she likes me. I have no idea why I keep doing it. I tell myself next time will be different, but it's always the same. I'm thinking I have confidence issues.
Eidolon Posted at 10:37 am on Nov. 20, 2008
Eh, I always push people away I hate getting attached.
kissmeintherain91 Posted at 10:36 am on Nov. 20, 2008
story of my life
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