Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic How can I open up and be a part of the crowd? Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]EmilyAnn[/m] at 6:39 pm on Sep. 22, 2008[quote]That's interesting. But you know what...I don't really think it's all that weird or anything. It's all right that you're a "loner." It's actually very healthy to be able to be happy and do things by yourself. Just because you don't live up to others' standards of being extremely sociable, doesn't mean that you're some sort of freak. And not partying is more normal than you think. I have come to realize that not going out and getting trashed every night/weekend is a very positive thing in my life. I'm able to concentrate on actual important things in my life, and spend lots of time with my family, boyfriend, and friends in much healthier and more productive ways. I would MUCH rather sit at home with a book or watch TV eating pizza with a friend than go out to a club or party. I would suggest that, if this is really a burden on you, you begin improving small things every week to maybe make yourself feel a little more "included." Because even though it's fine to be on your own, it still is important to get along with others and fit in -- it's just human nature. After all, in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, one need is "Social Needs - Sense of Belonging - Love." For instance, start by taking part in an extra conversation here and there. You don't need to sit and talk for eternity or share your life story, just give some input - make a comment. It'll become easier and feel more normal to you after time. At first, it'll feel awkward and you might not like it, but you NEED to start with baby steps. If you're in college, which I'm assuming: Go out of your way to ask someone you don't know in a class a question pertaining to that class. Who knows -- it could lead to some other conversation. If not, at least you'll become more at ease with approaching and conversing with others. I think one hugely important thing for you could be joining some type of club or group. Search around in your community or college for something you could join. Becoming part of a group with a common interest of yours (politics, reading, science, etc.) is something that could potentially change everything for you. I've had people tell me before that if they hadn't joined a certain group or club they wouldn't have many of the friends they have today, and they'd be an entirely different person. Good luck and if you need any more help don't hesitate to ask. :)[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post Anonymous Posted at 11:22 pm on Sep. 5, 2008 There's something about moving in with other people  that has really helped me see everything wrong with myself. I guess I've always been aware that I was different from other people my age (or anyone) but sharing an apartment, a room, with strangers has really magnified all the negative aspects. Like, I don't talk on the phone or text anyone and no one ever does the same for me; I don't have pictures of people; I don't hang out with people; I don't party; I'm boring; I don't have a boyfriend; I don't spend hours upon hours talking... I used to like those things in myself. I was self reliant and I didn't need anyone and I was perfectly ok with that, really. But all of a sudden, living with people who have *lives*, I guess...  I just feel so isolated and alone and I've never ever felt like that until now. I've always been something of a loner by nature. I get along with people really well and I've been told I'm very funny when I let myself be, but I've never been close to anyone. I have a lot of acquaintances but no one that I've hung out with or anything. I just don't know how to get personal. I find it hard to really be a part of something.

Replies EmilyAnn Posted at 6:39 pm on Sep. 22, 2008 That's interesting. But you know what...I don't really think it's all that weird or anything. It's all right that you're a "loner." It's actually very healthy to be able to be happy and do things by yourself. Just because you don't live up to others' standards of being extremely sociable, doesn't mean that you're some sort of freak. And not partying is more normal than you think. I have come to realize that not going out and getting trashed every night/weekend is a very positive thing in my life. I'm able to concentrate on actual important things in my life, and spend lots of time with my family, boyfriend, and friends in much healthier and more productive ways. I would MUCH rather sit at home with a book or watch TV eating pizza with a friend than go out to a club or party. I would suggest that, if this is really a burden on you, you begin improving small things every week to maybe make yourself feel a little more "included." Because even though it's fine to be on your own, it still is important to get along with others and fit in -- it's just human nature. After all, in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, one need is "Social Needs - Sense of Belonging - Love." For instance, start by taking part in an extra conversation here and there. You don't need to sit and talk for eternity or share your life story, just give some input - make a comment. It'll become easier and feel more normal to you after time. At first, it'll feel awkward and you might not like it, but you NEED to start with baby steps. If you're in college, which I'm assuming: Go out of your way to ask someone you don't know in a class a question pertaining to that class. Who knows -- it could lead to some other conversation. If not, at least you'll become more at ease with approaching and conversing with others. I think one hugely important thing for you could be joining some type of club or group. Search around in your community or college for something you could join. Becoming part of a group with a common interest of yours (politics, reading, science, etc.) is something that could potentially change everything for you. I've had people tell me before that if they hadn't joined a certain group or club they wouldn't have many of the friends they have today, and they'd be an entirely different person. Good luck and if you need any more help don't hesitate to ask. :) aGIRLunknown Posted at 11:25 pm on Sep. 5, 2008 just get in with a crowed that is like you... but then once u get in with them for a bit take over as head honcho All 2 previous replies displayed.