Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic How do you learn to trust people again? Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]VirtusInternus[/m] at 9:26 pm on July 11, 2006[quote]I miss having close friends again so much and you guys are right about having 'walls up' or 'defences' that prevent me from getting hurt. I really want to be close to people again and find some cool people (not heaps) to hang out with again. I miss just talking shit and joking around.[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post VirtusInternus Posted at 9:16 pm on July 11, 2006 After being hurt from friends and family in the past, how do you learn to trust people again? I have decided to give my family a second chance but I have lost a lot of old friends. I guess I'm worried that new friends that I meet will treat me badly when I don't give them reason to bcos I think I'm a likeable and good person. If I just trust people from the beginning how many chances do I give them to keep a mutual trust?

Replies Stupid lad Posted at 10:48 pm on Sep. 19, 2006 respect everyone`s feelings if u want ur feelings to be respected by everyone........that`s how u can earn back their trust ......and don`t think about the past...... memories are forever Posted at 12:20 pm on Sep. 17, 2006 I have the same problem. It is VERY hard for me to trust anyone expecially my family and friends. But i've decided to try to give them all a second change since everyone makes mistakes. Its been a really hard concept for me to accept, because im scared of getting hurt again. Something i've noticed that has helped me start trusting people again, is just trying to look past whats happend before and let them slowly back into my life. I dont know if ill ever be able to trust them the way i would like to, but im tired of living in the past, and im going to start giving them all a new chance. sarahphil Posted at 10:09 pm on Aug. 30, 2006 well...i have the same issue. But I think the beauty of reaching out to people is also the thing that causes the most pain. By reaching out and sharing a part of you with them, you give them the power and knowledge to hurt you. But when you reach out...I think you relive some of the pressurs of life.. So my advice is just to be cautious, and slowly let people in. I have the tendency to close off so i hav to force myself to reach out. Don't get me wrong..I still protect myself...but eventually you have to take that chance...I've taken it and now find myself very happy and secure..but still wary peaceonearth Posted at 1:23 am on Aug. 6, 2006 I don't trust anyone I don't know really well, but I always treat them as if I trusted them while guarding what I say and how. I think that's the only way to do things that is both loving and safe.  Human beings are treacherous by nature, sadly, and that's a struggle for the best of us to overcome. But nobody can prove himself trustworthy unless we give them a chance (!!), and its also hurtful and unfair to someone to treat him like he's untrustworthy when he has so far done nothing to breach your trust.     It's not loving to treat someone like he's just waiting to hurt you, and it's not safe to give away the secrets of your heart and make yourself vulnerable to everyone you meet.  It is important to learn (sadly that's sometimes by hard experience) what you can say to which kind of people to make them feel loved and cared about and to help them get to know you without being able to get where they can hurt you.         SuBmIsSiVeReALiTy Posted at 5:41 pm on July 29, 2006 I'm the same way...I always seem to think that people are out to hurt me in some way. There's really nothing you can do about it. You either have to be careful of who you let it which could be a bad think or you can try to change the way you think. I have made the mistake of worrying so much that I tend to push people away. I feel the need to know that their not going to hurt me so I tend to ask people constantly not to hurt me...that sometimes work...but most people don't find me worth the time to make me feel like someone to them. It's hard but if I were you, I would open my heart but be careful...you'll eventually find people that appreciate the person you are! BHalseyfan Posted at 3:31 pm on July 17, 2006 Once you've lost the trust of someone, it's really hard to learn how to trust again.  I think that in time, you'll slowly quiet the small little voice in your head warning you about certain people.  You just have to trust yourself to learn about a person fully, before letting them know you completly. Sorry if i'm no help. crazychris Posted at 2:24 am on July 12, 2006 I used to have so many friends, but then I moved away and over time I lost contact with most of them.  I still haven't made close friends with anyone in like three years.  I just don't have the energy it seems.  I can make acquaintances easily, but when it comes to people who I call and hang out with at least weekly, even that doesn't happen.  I too miss the constant companionship of close friends, people I can call every day and hang out with at least once a week.  I still have a few friends from that long time ago before I moved, but I don't see them because we live so far away.  I think the problem is that in high school, it was easier to make friends because you saw people daily.  In college, you don't see the same people all the time, so in order to build a friendship, you have to hang out with them more often out of class.  I have trouble trusting people too though, and I just remembered that's what this topic was about.  lol.. I got carried away, my bad.   VirtusInternus Posted at 9:26 pm on July 11, 2006 I miss having close friends again so much and you guys are right about having 'walls up' or 'defences' that prevent me from getting hurt. I really want to be close to people again and find some cool people (not heaps) to hang out with again. I miss just talking shit and joking around. luv2talk Posted at 9:22 pm on July 11, 2006 That is somehting that happends over time. I have been hurt a lot and it has taken me a while to trust those that are close to me and  it does get easier. Just give it sometime rememberthetimewhen Posted at 9:20 pm on July 11, 2006 i felt the same way for a while, it took time but i found one friend who i felt i could talk to, it turns out at the time she needed me just as much as i needed her, now she is my best friend, and i would do anything for her, and i know she would do the same, just take your time and don't let your guard down until you absolutely know you can. finding that one friend opens so many other doors, because they are your base, they provide you with the security to go and find other friends, but you know that no matter what they will be there emmy350 Posted at 9:19 pm on July 11, 2006 Geez! I feel the same way about making and keeping friends. I think that I'm sooo scared that they'll hurt me like ppl in the past that I am preventing myself from being closer to them.... I wish I knew exactly how to trust people again...cuz' I want to, but I don't know how to, I don't know how to break down that wall... dirty paws Posted at 9:18 pm on July 11, 2006 its hard for me to trust people cause i always think "just when they have my trust somethings going to happen" and i'll lose everything and wish i never trusted them All 12 previous replies displayed.