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Topic I have a serious problem.
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Original Post
Another Chance Posted at 10:46 pm on Feb. 19, 2007
Okay, I have a problem with girls. It's really bothering me. I'm ashamed of myself even, and I feel like I can't do anything about it.

I'm a freshmen in college, and I'm 19 years old. You would think that girls would be the least of my problems, but they are far from bieng the least. They are all I think about. Everyday, constantly. I'm sick of bieng alone. I really want to do something about it, but It's not easy for me. Not at all. I find it incredibly difficult, girls.  

Today I'm on campus looking for a place to study and I went to a library, where they help you out. I've gotten help before, but usually it's from dudes. I get so distracted by a pretty girl. It's impossible how nervous I get. So I go and I walk in and the teacher for my certain class isn't there. Theres this other girl though, who teaches a higher level. She says maybe she can help me out. Right away my heart rate increases, I get nervous, and I can't even look her in the eye. I can't even speak for god sake. I sit quietly, and I had to take a minute to breathe and get the nervousness out of my system.  

My voice was still shaky when I spoke. I just know that she seen the fear in me. She didn't know how to react. God I wanted to tell her how sorry I was. I wanted to say something to just make it better. I just thought she was pretty. That's all. I wanted to die, because I don't even understand why I get this way around pretty girls. I was ashamed of myself. I couldn't do anything about it. I had no control over how nervous I was. Two hours went by like two minutes, and I didn't even get any work done. I'm miserable. Afterward, I declared that I had a problem. I have a problem, with myself.

Replies
divineassault Posted at 11:36 am on Feb. 27, 2007
Man, its true, guys all have the same issue with girls, except lucky ones who somehow master it when they're like 6.  But what you want is a solution...or at least a hope of a solution, so here it goes.  To get over the issue with pretty girls, the first thing you should do is get comfortable around girls in general.  Not ugly ones, but not like knockout 5'9'' asians and blonds with hour glass figures for days. Nope, just get used to be in the proximity of cute girls. When I was going through this progression to get to my level of comfort with women, I decided to start sitting next to them in class. This leads to the next progression, which is finding a perfectly good reason to speak with them. Related to class, or something  relevant to the time/place.  Right now, the idea is for you to stop putting, as they so eloquently put in the 40 year old virgin, "the pussy on the pedastool" one step at a time.  You're not tryin to become some super mack, you just wanna stop losing your mind in a society where women outnumber men...might as well start getting comfortable with the hot ones now.  You're penis will thank you later, as well as your sanity.
Bennette Posted at 5:15 pm on Feb. 23, 2007
I only get nervous if its something serious, like asking a girl out.  That was mainly in high school though.  

I killed most of my nervousness rather forcefully during orrientation for my college by finding random cute girls that i liked and just walking up, introducing myself and walking with them whereever they were going.  Just to prove to myself that they are normal people, and that i can have a normal conversation with them even if its not a normal situation.  

At least, thats why i assume i did it.  I was way to much of a quiet kid in high school.  The only girl i ever went out with asked ME out.

Bling06 Posted at 11:06 pm on Feb. 19, 2007
Quote: from dolce e gabbana at 11:01 pm on Feb. 19, 2007

this thread makes me EL OH EL

..

But seriously, the main way is to heighten yourself confidence!


At least someone gets a laugh out of our problems

dolce e gabbana Posted at 11:01 pm on Feb. 19, 2007
this thread makes me EL OH EL

..

But seriously, the main way is to heighten yourself confidence!

omgnowayyy Posted at 11:00 pm on Feb. 19, 2007
Quote: from Bling06 at 10:55 pm on Feb. 19, 2007

Quote: from omgnowayyy at 10:50 pm on Feb. 19, 2007

well, do you get this way around all girls? or just the pretty ones?  

 If youd like to study...try to find someone you do not find attractive, for the rest of your problems Im sorry, just take your time when youre going to speak think before you talk so then you dont make yourself think you sound stupid and get even more nervous and take deep breaths to calm you down.


 

For some reason we guys usually don't get nervous around ugly women?? Don't ask why>


probably because you dont feel you need to impress them.
Bling06 Posted at 11:00 pm on Feb. 19, 2007
Quote: from Meep123 at 10:57 pm on Feb. 19, 2007

Quote: from Bling06 at 10:55 pm on Feb. 19, 2007

Quote: from omgnowayyy at 10:50 pm on Feb. 19, 2007

well, do you get this way around all girls? or just the pretty ones?    

  If youd like to study...try to find someone you do not find attractive, for the rest of your problems Im sorry, just take your time when youre going to speak think before you talk so then you dont make yourself think you sound stupid and get even more nervous and take deep breaths to calm you down.


 


 For some reason we guys usually don't get nervous around ugly women?? Don't ask why>


 

Aint that the truth. I can talk to an ugly girl like shes one of the guys. I'm a wreck around the girls I like.  

My voice doesn't shake but I tend to talk fast, or walk by really fast, it just looks spastic. Then I look back and think "wow im a retard."



I'm not attempting to give myself an ego boost but I think we can saftely be ourselves around ugly women cause we know they're nervous around us??

Meep123 Posted at 10:57 pm on Feb. 19, 2007
Quote: from Bling06 at 10:55 pm on Feb. 19, 2007

Quote: from omgnowayyy at 10:50 pm on Feb. 19, 2007

well, do you get this way around all girls? or just the pretty ones?  

 If youd like to study...try to find someone you do not find attractive, for the rest of your problems Im sorry, just take your time when youre going to speak think before you talk so then you dont make yourself think you sound stupid and get even more nervous and take deep breaths to calm you down.


For some reason we guys usually don't get nervous around ugly women?? Don't ask why>


Aint that the truth. I can talk to an ugly girl like shes one of the guys. I'm a wreck around the girls I like.

My voice doesn't shake but I tend to talk fast, or walk by really fast, it just looks spastic. Then I look back and think "wow im a retard."

Bling06 Posted at 10:55 pm on Feb. 19, 2007
Quote: from omgnowayyy at 10:50 pm on Feb. 19, 2007

well, do you get this way around all girls? or just the pretty ones?

If youd like to study...try to find someone you do not find attractive, for the rest of your problems Im sorry, just take your time when youre going to speak think before you talk so then you dont make yourself think you sound stupid and get even more nervous and take deep breaths to calm you down.


For some reason we guys usually don't get nervous around ugly women?? Don't ask why>

Bling06 Posted at 10:54 pm on Feb. 19, 2007
Quote: from Another Chance at 10:46 pm on Feb. 19, 2007

Okay, I have a problem with girls. It's really bothering me. I'm ashamed of myself even, and I feel like I can't do anything about it.

I'm a freshmen in college, and I'm 19 years old. You would think that girls would be the least of my problems, but they are far from bieng the least. They are all I think about. Everyday, constantly. I'm sick of bieng alone. I really want to do something about it, but It's not easy for me. Not at all. I find it incredibly difficult, girls.  

Today I'm on campus looking for a place to study and I went to a library, where they help you out. I've gotten help before, but usually it's from dudes. I get so distracted by a pretty girl. It's impossible how nervous I get. So I go and I walk in and the teacher for my certain class isn't there. Theres this other girl though, who teaches a higher level. She says maybe she can help me out. Right away my heart rate increases, I get nervous, and I can't even look her in the eye. I can't even speak for god sake. I sit quietly, and I had to take a minute to breathe and get the nervousness out of my system.  

My voice was still shaky when I spoke. I just know that she seen the fear in me. She didn't know how to react. God I wanted to tell her how sorry I was. I wanted to say something to just make it better. I just thought she was pretty. That's all. I wanted to die, because I don't even understand why I get this way around pretty girls. I was ashamed of myself. I couldn't do anything about it. I had no control over how nervous I was. Two hours went by like two minutes, and I didn't even get any work done. I'm miserable. Afterward, I declared that I had a problem. I have a problem, with myself.


Don't worry this isn't abnormal.. I to have this problem. I see a girl that at my local albertsons everyday. She gives me penetrating looks and smiles lots. She pokes her head around the aisle I'm in and she even offered me cookies at the sampler table    Everyday I'm like oh yeah you ready for me baby I'm gonna say hi to you today! With no prevail I falter... damn she is cute and seems nice. If this chick helps you willingly there shouldn't be anything to worry about. Although this is easier said then done... Well I put my 2 cents in

OverTheAir Posted at 10:52 pm on Feb. 19, 2007
I don't really know a cure for this one, obviously. Can you think of any reason you're like this? Has something happened to you in the past with a pretty girl or something?

You just have to stop thinking of them as just a pretty girl. Stop putting them on the pedestal you know? You're probably sitting there saying yeah but you just don't understand and I probably don't 100% You just have to think of them as regular people. Try working with just one pretty girl, maybe get comfortable with her? Then see how you do with others?

Another Chance Posted at 10:52 pm on Feb. 19, 2007
Quote: from dolce e gabbana at 10:50 pm on Feb. 19, 2007

well at least you know you have a problem and want to get help, you should probably increase your confidence levels. probably why you're having this problem. do you stutter ?

No. My voice gets shaky.

dolce e gabbana Posted at 10:50 pm on Feb. 19, 2007
well at least you know you have a problem and want to get help, you should probably increase your confidence levels. probably why you're having this problem. do you stutter ?
omgnowayyy Posted at 10:50 pm on Feb. 19, 2007
well, do you get this way around all girls? or just the pretty ones?

If youd like to study...try to find someone you do not find attractive, for the rest of your problems Im sorry, just take your time when youre going to speak think before you talk so then you dont make yourself think you sound stupid and get even more nervous and take deep breaths to calm you down.

The Lobotomist Posted at 10:47 pm on Feb. 19, 2007
i have the same problem
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