Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic My college life suck (no friend) help! Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]bluskypeChris[/m] at 4:00 pm on April 26, 2008[quote]When I first enter college, I suffer from SAD or social anxiety disorder, and that prevent me from meeting peoples.  My dorm room door was always close, and despite that people still knock on my door but I couldn't open it.  Every time someone would knock at my door I received a panic attack.  I used to know this girl who knew about my SAD and still wanted to be my friend, she never gave up on me, but then when I finally manage to somehow overcame my SAD on my own, she moved to another part of the campus with her bf.  I still have SAD during my second quarter in college, and it was only my third and final quarter in college off my first year that I have finally gotten rid of SAD but it is once again too late. I feel lonely in college.  Most days I don't have the will to wake up or the will to even live.  I dread each day as I see people with their groups of friends smiling and having such a great time, and I see myself all alone.  It such an awful feeling, I feel totally alienated.  Sometime I want them to know I'm friendly but I can't smile naturally, and I know I have a weird face, that I don't know what really the point of it.  I know I'm a nice guy deep down, but if other people don't realize that, it absolutely make no differences. I spent most of my times in my room.  Most of the time alone and miserable, and I sleep most of the times.  I know I already screw up any chances of making friends, maybe lifelong friend also.  I just hate college so much, I have absolutely nothing going for me, I haven't done well in school either since I am always so depress I just don't have the energy to study.  I manage to get part time status that wouldn't affect my FA because of my SAD, but I am still doing poorly in school.  I often question my existence... Chris my aim is bluskypeChris if anyone want to talk to me.[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post bluskypeChris Posted at 4:00 pm on April 26, 2008 When I first enter college, I suffer from SAD or social anxiety disorder, and that prevent me from meeting peoples.  My dorm room door was always close, and despite that people still knock on my door but I couldn't open it.  Every time someone would knock at my door I received a panic attack.  I used to know this girl who knew about my SAD and still wanted to be my friend, she never gave up on me, but then when I finally manage to somehow overcame my SAD on my own, she moved to another part of the campus with her bf.  I still have SAD during my second quarter in college, and it was only my third and final quarter in college off my first year that I have finally gotten rid of SAD but it is once again too late. I feel lonely in college.  Most days I don't have the will to wake up or the will to even live.  I dread each day as I see people with their groups of friends smiling and having such a great time, and I see myself all alone.  It such an awful feeling, I feel totally alienated.  Sometime I want them to know I'm friendly but I can't smile naturally, and I know I have a weird face, that I don't know what really the point of it.  I know I'm a nice guy deep down, but if other people don't realize that, it absolutely make no differences. I spent most of my times in my room.  Most of the time alone and miserable, and I sleep most of the times.  I know I already screw up any chances of making friends, maybe lifelong friend also.  I just hate college so much, I have absolutely nothing going for me, I haven't done well in school either since I am always so depress I just don't have the energy to study.  I manage to get part time status that wouldn't affect my FA because of my SAD, but I am still doing poorly in school.  I often question my existence... Chris my aim is bluskypeChris if anyone want to talk to me.

Replies Susana Posted at 10:52 am on April 27, 2008 mm,everybody   suffered   a   pessure   from  society,   the   same   to  me , i    did  not  know  why ?  but   it   really   was. Be afraid  of   meeting people,going  out  of  own  world, and  having  a  feeling  of  embarrassment  when  be be faced  with  crowd,it  feel   so     awefull,  so   when  decided  to  change  ourselves,    we    also   can    not     overcome   it,it seems    so    difficult    for    us  ,anything we  did    were   failed   finally.   believe  me,  nobody  can    help   you    except    youself!   you    can   make   only  a  friend  with   someone first  around   youself ,tell  her  or   him  what  is in   your   heart,  what   you   need   is  just   a  listener,   you   will  learn   about sth  from     youself when   throwing   them   out.  He    or    she    aiso    can be   a   guider    to   you    ,but    do   not   depend    upon him   or   her  ,the   key   is   youself.be   positive   at    any   moment  ,the   important   is     be    in    good   mood  ,if   you  look at   the   world  carefully,  you   will  find   no   one   will    staring    at    u   all   the   time,  everyone    is   doing  their   own   things,   only   we     ourselves   care   ,  be     relax.  we    all  should  be   go   out   of   our    own   world,   others   would   be    glad  to  make   friends   with    you ,only   you    thought   it    too   difficult for   youself  all   long  the   time,  you    thought   you   can   not   do  it.   Believe   youself! britishguy Posted at 4:37 pm on April 26, 2008 Woah, that's a bad situation you're in there isn't it mate? I sympathise completely and I would love to talk to you more sometime. I have been isolating myself more and more over the past few years for the same basic reason - Social Anxiety. I have been feeling very depressed because of my own issues in my past and I guess basically I have been scared of people and the world generally. So I have *some* idea where you're coming from even if I can't claim to understand your life from one short post here. My advice to you though is exactly what you don't want to hear, and I think you know it already. You need to get out and meet people and if you can't do that then you need to address the issues underlying your fears. This is really important. I am in a terrible position right now where I am lonely and distraught because of the very behaviour that you are describing. I refused advances by people who would have been friends and now I find myself in a situation where I need them the most of course I don't have any. Now you sound like you are already in a situation where you feel desperately alone and you have no support and that's exactly why people need friends. You need someone there for you when things go to the fan who can tell you that it's going to work out, who can tell you that you'll be okay and who can buoy you up when you are having trouble living. I know you are scared mate, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to start reaching out to people. I know how impossibly hard that sounds and I guess you have to be pretty scared to be doing what you are right now and trying to survive on your own. But there are lots of people in the world who will help you if you ask them. It's easy to sit alone and become consumed by your fears and your feelings so that no-one can help you, but really, you HAVE to reach out and let people help you. When you do you will feel so good and it WILL make the effort worthwhile. There must be a local organisation for people with metal health problems or people who are in need? Is there an on-campus counselling service with a drop in you could go to? Try to find someone somewhere who you can just drop into for a chat, a cup of coffee and some advice. WHen you share your problems you get a clear minded alternate view that can steer you when you can't steer yourself. What I urge you to do more than anything else though is to seek professional counselling for your underlying problems. SAD does not pop up overnight for no reason. You know as well as I do that there is something in your past that has started this whole situation and unless you address those issues and confront your own inner feelings you will continue to be trapped by this condition. Make sure you take some steps to address these issues. Are you taking any drugs? If not have you considered Paxil or one of the SSRIs? They can be very effective against panic attacks and social anxiety - many people find their panic attacks are markedly reduced and the drugs are generally non-addictive and have relatively few side effects in comparison to the massive benefits that can offer. If you haven't already then investigate this avenue. It's important that you take action as soon as you can because you are making decisions now that will affect the rest of your life and you need to make the best decisions you can. Good luck, and please get in touch if you just want a friend to talk to who has some experience okay? auntiek Posted at 4:18 pm on April 26, 2008 I'm sure it's kinda tough but just go for it! Join a club on campus, if its in music or sport, just try to get involved. it's not too late, no way!! Sure you could end up making loads of friends on your last day!!! Just try make conversation about a lecture, or something college related, and it should go on from there, and bam! you did it!! Good luck! UnwrittenProphecy Posted at 4:08 pm on April 26, 2008 dude, i had no friends at college until this past week (i am a commuter)... i met this girl on facebook that goes to my college a while back and i asked her if she wanted to hang out... she said yeah and sang a bit for me in the practice rooms... then i asked her if she wanted to hang out later, that i'd stick around campus until then... she said 'yes' and then introduced me to her friends before going to class... i hung out with her friends and played frisbee for 2 hours... now i'm good friends with 5 people... then yesterday i called up one of them and asked if he wanted to hang out, he was being taught how to play guitar and introduced me to his friend... his friend invited me to a huge party that night and i said i'd think about it (nowhere to spend the night) so, they left and i called up one of the people in my field of study (physics) and asked if he wanted to hang out, and i went to dinner with him and 2 other people... his one friend invited me to a party at his dorm and said i could spend the night... i took up the invitation and i had a blast... i met his friends from Penn State and about 30 other people at this party... then it dimmed down and we went to the previous party i was invited to and it was huge... i had a blast there and then we all went back and crashed at his dorm at like 4 in the morning... basically, i've put 15 or so numbers in my phone in the last 2 days... and it all started with saying "i didn't know you sang" to some girl i met on facebook... i'd still be depressed about not having friends if i hadn't met up with her All 4 previous replies displayed.