It's like, I love my room mate, but I keep telling myself not any more than friendship.

I love another guy, who I am dating.  let's just call him "gary".

I mean, though, I and my room mate agreed that there was nothing between us.  and when I'm going out with "gary", I have eyes only for him.

but any other time, especially around my room mate, I feel strange, like I can't make direct eye contact anymore.

They both have highly compatible personalities with me, also.

room mate: funny, laid back, not very serious.  He forgets things a lot, so I have to remind him now and then of things.  I also never had anyone so into my cooking(every other room mate I've ever had was picky.  he loves all my cooking).

con's: He doesn't take anything very serious.  It's hard to tell if he's depressed or just intensely thinking about something.  Extremely antisocial, but that's what amazes me about him.

"gary": very intelligent, has a humorous side, and just easy to be around.  I can tell he is very determined to get what he wants.  I love his eyes(and wish he wouldn't hide them behind sunglasses...).  

con's: I can't tell what he is thinking either...nor can I see his eyes because he wears sunglasses all the time I've seen him.

I can usually read minds(not word for word, mind you, just basic emotions), so it's very odd I can't tell what either of them are thinking or feeling.  It's like, I look into my room mate's eyes, and I can get lost in how deep they seem.  I can't see "gary's" eyes, so it's a little bit unnerving.  

ugh, I'm so ready to find the love of my life all of a sudden, when I made a promise years ago never to fall in love.  so much for that promise, I guess nothing seems guaranteed nor clear.