I told my boyfriend later and he got sort of upset at me, asking if I told him I had a boyfriend, and I said no, because it wasn't necessary (I'm trying to make friends in a place where I barely know anyone, so starting a conversation off with "I have a boyfriend so don't hit on me" isn't the best idea.) So I said straight out to him, "You don't trust me" and he said "No." He doesn't believe that I am capable of taking care of myself and brought up past relationships.
It just, pisses me off to no end. I don't know how many times we've had this conversation, and I told him that I can't have him getting jealous everytime I tell him that I talked to a guy (because he has this idea that guys only talk to girls if they're interested in them, it can't possible be just because they're being nice).
Grrrrrr
Damn, this is going to be hard if he isn't going to trust me....I trust him. I almost cried because it hurt so much knowing he doesn't trust me. I don't want to break up with him, that's not an option, I LOVE this guy, which makes it even harder for me to understand why he doesn't trust me, because I know he loves me too. I just, I WANT him to trust me damnit!!!
Advice?
This is what bothers me about your statement. You automatically assume that if you tell a guy who comes up to you that you don't have a b/f you assume they will have no interest in talking to you further, Which would be true, only if they were looking to talk to you as a hopeful romantic interest.
If the guy is just looking for friendship its not going to matter what your status is other than making some more conversation with you, I.E. asking more about it and whatnot, perhaps the guy asking isn't single himself and has things relatable.
Thats how I would look at it, from my standpoint and I can see why your b/f would be a bit bothered especially if you mention the whole telling someone 'no I don't have a b/f' line.
And to Broken Belief: Thank you as well. Yeah, I get where they CAN be attracted, but at the same time, they know when to back off, and I know when to say no if they try anything...He just refuses to believe me when I say that.
This is where your problem lies. In most cases, he's probably actually right. A guy that goes to sit down and converse with a girl alone is, in most cases, probably at least a little bit interested in her. What he doesn't understand, is that that shouldn't bother him. What you need to say to him the next time it comes up is to say that guys may like you, and may try to hit on you, but you can handle that. Tell him that most friend-relationships guys have with girls are because thry liked them at first and struck out. After all, it does take two people to be a cheater, and you have no control over the other guy. What you do have control over is the fact that you'll never let them get anywhere with you.
It doesnt sound like the fella had much of a romantic interest in you otherwise he woulda asked "what would a good looking girl like yourself be doing here on her own if she has a bf?" The question is here was this boy hitting on you? State that he wasnt to your boyfriend because if he had i'm sure you would have told him where to get off no? For all youknow that boy coulda been trying to make a ew friend himself.
What would concern me is the lack of trust in your relationship. With your bf. admitting he doesnt trust you perhaps this is something you two should talk about together. WHY doesnt he trust you??? Why if he still doesnt trust you are you together??? Because trust is a big thing as well as communication which will be sorely needed to fix whatever is going horribly wrong.
Any of the girls who talk about getting back together with a cheater and ask my opinion, i'm ALWAYS sure to say "look love, if you get back with him you cant let the past effect your future together. You cannot bring up his cheating ways or the fact he broke it off" The past is just that, PAST. And when your looking toward your future, the past must be forgotten or at least forgiven and it doesnt sound like he may have forgiven you. Could you risk your relationship by questioning that? A lot of girls wouldnt but all that matters whether you are happy even if he's doubting you. :( Maybe its something YOU need to think about. If this past relationship was with another man, state perhaps he just didnt make you happy. You didnt feel as fulfilled as you obv. have the potential to be fulfilled with him because as you stated you love him.
No. Not all fella's are like that. i talk to a lotta fella's and my bf is prob the least jealous guy on earth. He's fine with me even dancing with other fella's. Mind you it may have been that i thrust my hand in their faces if they think "Oh yah! She's up for it."
Darling the only thing i can reccomend you doing is talking to him about it. Like calm rational adults. Do not tear up. Do not shout. Sit and talk, like a couple. If neither of you are making any headway would couples therapy be an option?
Because if you dont head this problem TOGETHER your either going to tear each other apparent with mistrust, paranoia and gradual distain.
Hoping it all works out for both of you, Take care. Keira.
Quote: from dont notice me at 11:14 am on Aug. 23, 2008 dont tell you bf next time? See, but if I don't tell him that makes it worse because he thinks I'm going behind his back and cheating for sure....He says he is just being careful, but at what expense?
dont tell you bf next time?
See, but if I don't tell him that makes it worse because he thinks I'm going behind his back and cheating for sure....He says he is just being careful, but at what expense?
not if he doesn't know....
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