Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic I need some feedback please... Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]hotamalee[/m] at 8:50 pm on July 3, 2009[quote]It sounds like you have a good plan, and you should definitely stick with your gut feelings... but don't forget to have fun. Things can get pretty dull without a party or two.[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post TimJ575 Posted at 8:35 pm on July 3, 2009 I currently am a freshman in College currently attending Summer Session at my college. My girlfriend and I (dating for over a year) both decided we wanted to go to the same college just because we share the same morals and ideas and love each other. When thinking of being a freshman in college, usually the first thing that comes to mind is partying and getting extremely intoxicated. I really never got into the whole drinking scene and really do not feel pressured or feel the need to get "shitfaced" or even drink for that matter until I am over 21, and once that time comes, if I have a drink, I have a drink it really will be and is insignificant to me. My girlfriend and I are extremely close and I feel like I really do not need anyone else but her. Unfortunately, the college we attend is an extreme party school, therefore most all the guys are partiers. Is it wrong of me to really not want to make friends with anyone there? I just feel that all I really need to focus on is my school and my girlfriend and then I'll have the rest of my life to have a good time because while everyone else was messing around I was getting stuff done. I don't know I just feel as if I'm on a mission and I'm so set and I'm so driven on what I want to do, and how I want her in my plans, I don't anyone or anything getting in the way or messing that up. Is my thought process wrong? Am I weird for feeling this way? The one main reason why my girlfriend and I did want to go to the same college with each other is because we both mutually felt that we were both the kind of person we would want to eventually spend the rest of our lives with. I treat her as best as I can and go out of my way to be the best I can for her and be the supportive man that I strive to be. In a sense I feel that yeah many people say that in Highschool many people are so immature, but when you go to college it's very different. I do not disagree with this statement, however I feel that people are immature, but just on a more mature level of immaturity then compared to highschool. I know that may not make sense, but I want to go to college to better myself and get an education, however many people there just party and really act like complete idiots. Would really like some deep insight into this, it has been toiling in my mind for awhile now I would really like some support and feedback please

Replies nik1 Posted at 2:53 am on July 6, 2009 i have been in college for five years and only twice did I drink too much.  In fact in the past four years the most I have had to drink in one day is perhaps two beers or a glass of wine.  I don't find drunks very attractive, interested or fun to be around.  It may not be wrong of you to not want to make friends with anyone but it sure is foolish.  Why would you not want friends?  If they drink or party what does it have to do with your friendship.  You don't have to drink and party.  You are going to be very lonely if you don't have some friends to talk to.   EmilyAnn Posted at 9:38 am on July 4, 2009 Human beings simply need friendships. It's important for your emotional health to have bonds with other people -- bonds other than with your girlfriend. I know that you think you and your girlfriend will NEVER break up, but face reality...it's possible. You're young, and shit happens. There is a chance that you won't make it together through college. Then what? You'll be friendless and have NO ONE. It's important to look outside of the box and build friendships outside of your relationship. When your girlfriend is gone, then what? Do you really want to be so dependent on one person for your happiness? I'm sorry to tell you this, but it's not healthy. Judging from the psych and sociology classes I have taken, and just from living and observing human nature, I can tell you that PEOPLE NEED OTHER PEOPLE. And not just one other person that isn't even guaranteed to be there forever. Even if you guys were engaged or married, it's still not guaranteed. You are going to be going through a LOT of changes in the next few years, and you don't know what could happen. Many people think their relationship is going to last forever, and then their lives are shattered when reality proves otherwise. Basically, it's not healthy to base your entire life on one relationship. So what if you don't want to party? I know for a fact that there are other students in your college that don't party as well. Not every single student at your college gets trashed every night, that's just impossible. Just think of the wonderful experiences you could have with other people. You have no idea what could happen, who could meet, where you could go, what you could LEARN from other people. Think of other people as bridges to places and experiences that you never thought possible. I'd take a step back and look at everything a bit more realistically. Don't depend so much on your girlfriend and branch out a bit more. Join some clubs or participate in activities, do SOMETHING where you'll be exposed to people who aren't major partiers. Another thing...perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to judge all of these "partiers." Yeah, students in college drink. I'm in college, and although I don't get trashed every weekend, I'll drink alcohol once or twice a month. It's okay. Just because someone drinks doesn't mean that they are a terrible person unworthy of being your friend. It's a bad assumption to think that one who consumes alcohol is worthless. Start living outside the small box you're in. There is more to life than a girlfriend and getting good grades... hotamalee Posted at 8:50 pm on July 3, 2009 It sounds like you have a good plan, and you should definitely stick with your gut feelings... but don't forget to have fun. Things can get pretty dull without a party or two. MistressH Posted at 8:42 pm on July 3, 2009 lol a more mature level of immaturity i like that.  Anyway, um you're not wrong for thinking like that.  You're just judging and thats what most people do right off the back.  But that doesn't mean you can't get to know them.  Just becasue they party doesn't mean you have to.  It's like having that stoner friend who tries to get you to party.  But when you say no they either respect that and back off or they'll push and you sound sensible enough to go spend that time with your girlfriend. Idk idk.  just my thoughts on the matter virginia287 Posted at 8:41 pm on July 3, 2009 More power to you! don't feel pressured to  party when its not you...its great that you're ahead of the game and don't feel the need to fit in when you've found your place with your girl. Don't stress about it, just keep doing your thing and you'll be a better person for it :) Best of luck! HideOrSeek Posted at 8:40 pm on July 3, 2009 Well, what I see is a pretty down to earth, mature guy who is determined to broaden his options in life. Kuddos for that mate. Lighten up whenever the time comes. All 6 previous replies displayed.