I've always seen other girls as being attractive since I was quite young: I'm in college now. But in elementary I never wanted a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend. Yet, I never really got into that young dating stage since I really wasn't attracted to the guys; I'd rather play sports with them at recess instead. Even to this day, I've never really had a serious boyfriend and I find excuses not to go out with guys (better as friends, leaving for college and the distance thing, ect.)

I'm not sure if I'm just lying to myself. Honestly, I don't want to be gay. I grew up in a strict, Christian/conservative family: my grandfather was a military captain so my dad also ran the family in a strict, military-type manner. Homosexuality doesn't go over well in my house. I also am from a small, homophobic town. One of my best friends came out as being gay and I literally saw the community turn on him: threats in his locker in high school, bullying, even vandalism to his car. No school administration or police officers stepped in to help him at all. My friends and I at school had to watch out for him since no one else would help him. It was a frightening experience to see and I've got no desire to put myself in that situation either.

I guess I'm just looking for any insight—I obviously don't have anyone else to talk with about this. Can you relate or do you have any advice? Thank you.