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Original Post
countryLuv Posted at 6:54 pm on Sep. 9, 2008
my fiance is in college and i live over 70 miles from him and i havent seen him in almost a mth i miss him terribly. Hes always busy and the nights hes not hes playing video games and watching TV. No matter what is going on unless im with him he seems to not want to talk or anything and he dont get that since i DONT get to be with him (i only see him via webcam ) and he dont talk to me when i need him it hurts !! how do i tell him without sounding selfish?  

Replies
jp norris Posted at 7:44 pm on Sep. 9, 2008
ok this is the selfish fiance. I am not selfish i have homework all the time wplus two jobs an im takin 15 hours in college im srry baby you fell that way but we spend all thetime textin. Andv im not on the computer all the time cause i just got it yesterday.plus we talk everynight till like 1 in the morning how is that selfish
Define Your Line Posted at 7:06 pm on Sep. 9, 2008
Hey there,

I can see that this is really a tough situation for you to be in right now.  I am really sorry that you are feeling this way.  Just remember that you're never alone as there are always people, including myself, who really care about you and want to help in any way that they can.

It is completely normal to feel the way you're feeling.  Long-distance relationships can be *really* tough and unfortunately, not many are successful.  It's really good that you guys are managing to make it work while being engaged!  You both should be very proud of yourselves for that.  However, I see that you aren't completely content with the present situation.

It's completely normal to feel this way.  Many people who are in relationships feel this way at one point or another.  Therefore, there's really nothing wrong with the way you're feeling.  You will not considered selfish if you talk to him about this.  From what you wrote, I can see that it's *he* who is being the selfish one.

I mean, you say he's not there for you when he needs you?  He should be there for you all of the times that he can because he is your fiance.  I mean, you guys are engaged to be married.  Does he not realise the importance of being engaged?  I don't know if he really does, to be honest.  It seems like he is a little immature and it's no wonder why you feel hurt.

Have you tried talking to him about it?  You should be open and honest about your feelings regarding this situation.  No one deserves to be treated this way - especially from their fiance.  It's not right and you don't deserve it.  You need to stand up for yourself.  Don't think you're being selfish because you're not.  Just don't say it with a mean or harsh tone and you cannot be accused of being selfish.

Tell him exactly what's on your mind and how you feel about the situation.  Then, give him the opportunity to do the same.  Communication is key in every relationship.  Without communication in a relationship, the relationship is less likely to be a successful one.  So, I would really advise you to talk to him about it.

I hope I helped.  If you ever need anything at all or feel the need to discuss this further, don't hesitate to message me any time as my inbox is always open.

Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

DYL

basketball5 Posted at 6:59 pm on Sep. 9, 2008
well he is your fiance u need to be able to tell him this stuff. how will ur marriage last if u cant come out with your problems.
Special Agent Orange Posted at 6:57 pm on Sep. 9, 2008
tell him that your going to get a sex change if he doesnt talk to you more.
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