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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Adding Reply

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Topic another one of my poems.
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Original Post
SoaringFalcon2010 Posted at 1:05 pm on July 2, 2008
as we walk through the darkened streets,
side by side  the tension heats.
as we wished we knew what to do,
not knowing the other has no clue.
why does love have to be like this,
why does it have to hurt what happened to bliss?
i look in your eyes and see myself,
this obssession can not be good for my health.
i just wished i could tell you how im feeling,
not knowing the same problem your dealing.
i feel like a stranger in my own mind,
because with you im compleatly blind.
why cant we just tell eachother,
why hiding it do we even bother?
as i look in your eyes i see the tears,
and the truth my ears hears.
you tell me how much you care,
and our lives we shoud share.
as i feel the tears in my own eyes,
i tell u the story of my lies.
and then we walk off hand in hand,
together forever we to stand.

Replies
DemolitionxXxLover Posted at 1:10 pm on July 2, 2008
I really like it.
SoaringFalcon2010 Posted at 1:08 pm on July 2, 2008
Quote: from xsnortingxashesx at 1:06 pm on July 2, 2008

I like your poem, but I couldn't pay attention because we have the same avatar.

shoot we do hahaha.

carracer Posted at 1:08 pm on July 2, 2008
Its good
i think it would be better as a not rhyming poem though
and maybe expand on the darkened streets image
tenchi1084 Posted at 1:08 pm on July 2, 2008
wonderful, just wonderful.  points to you(if I have any)
xsnortingxashesx Posted at 1:06 pm on July 2, 2008
I like your poem, but I couldn't pay attention because we have the same avatar.
All 5 previous replies displayed.