Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic Faceless Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from Anonymous at 11:55 am on Aug. 6, 2008[quote]Quote: from [m]Lulamae[/m] at 7:50 pm on Aug. 6, 2008[quote]That's not true and I'm going to tell you this again in a second! [/quote]Not supposed to be, doofus.[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post Anonymous Posted at 11:47 am on Aug. 6, 2008 I am one of the faceless, the ones that you do not see. I am neither unattractive, nor attractive. I simply am. You will not notice me as you pass by me, or as I cross your line of vision. Your eyes will not linger, nor penetrate me. They will not even attempt to. I simply do not draw your attention, I simply do not matter. In a group of people, we will sit and talk. My voice will remain unheard, my points unanswered. My pleading brushed aside as you declare your unanimous decision to the world. You will place your colleagues on a pedestal, all, that is, apart from me. You will forget I took part in the debate, as will everyone. Upon answering the phone to me, your words will be "Who is this?", before faking recollection as I impart unto you my name. But these do not matter, after our brief encounter. For my face, and my voice matter not, when you cannot escape the memory of my touch. In future, when people brush against those areas, your mind will be drawn back to our night, and our day. It will be my skin that you feel upon you, all thought of theirs blocked out as you savour that intimate memory. The trace of my tongue will come to you in the night, and your fingers will recall it's path whilst you sleep. These memories will form part of your dreams for years to come, only to escape you during waking, sane hours. My taste and my smell are one, and as you pass me by, ignoring my face and my voice, you will not ignore the scent that rests on your tongue, bringing those flickering dreams towards the daylight. You will grasp out for the contentment of what rests upon your tongue, its scent, its taste. You will crave it above all other things, but you will not retrieve it from any other location than me. So whilst you may forget my face, my voice, you cannot, will not forget my scent, taste nor skin. This is the only legacy I can leave of our night, and I will not let you ignore it. I have impregnated these upon your mind, and I hope for them to remain. (edit: It's its)

Replies deaths door14 Posted at 12:05 pm on Dec. 23, 2008 it's good :) haha nearly said your name, jesus. although i wonder as to why you're showing me now after months lol. i like it though. very you. gorgeous nugget Posted at 12:24 pm on Aug. 17, 2008 Typical you, sonny. Big yes. dangermousee Posted at 12:12 pm on Aug. 7, 2008 Typical of you. Anonymous Posted at 3:12 pm on Aug. 6, 2008 Thanks. I'll look some more at it. Fauna Posted at 2:44 pm on Aug. 6, 2008 I think it all has the same sort of slightly detached tone, that's what I really like about it. it's so matter of fact. the way he's individually describing the parts of his body; his tongue, his fingers, it's all so methodical and controlled on the speaker's part. very authoritative, slightly alpha-male. maybe I'm projecting. the idea of the quiet, ignored man in the corner being a true beast in bed is an interesting one, the unexplored extremes of ordinary people. to be pedantic, I don't like "rests upon your tongue" being repeated twice in one sentence, I think it might improve from that being changed. that's just personal, maybe you wanted it twice. Anonymous Posted at 2:36 pm on Aug. 6, 2008 You will grasp out for the contentment of what rests upon your tongue, it's scent, it's taste. You will crave it above all other things, but you will not retrieve it from any other location than me. I thought that implied some consent. As for the first paragraph, my intention there was to be restrained, frustrated, and unhappy, but then in the second, he comes into his own. Fauna Posted at 2:34 pm on Aug. 6, 2008 ok, good, I guess the bits about craving and contentment and that make that obvious in retrospect, but he does sound a bit shifty this invisible person, and a bit forceful. I like it a lot though, it's saucy. maybe work on the first paragraph to get it to read as naturally as the second? phrases like "as I impart unto you my name. " rather than "I tell you my name" seems overly-formal. And also the idea of the character "pleading" doesn't fit in, at least with my image of the sort of character you're describing. I love the second paragraph though, yup yup. Anonymous Posted at 2:29 pm on Aug. 6, 2008 Quote: from Fauna at 10:27 pm on Aug. 6, 2008 it'd be sexy if I wasn't sure it was about raping someone. I like all the little nuances and hints, they're really well places. (one thing, it's = it is, its = belonging to 'it') Jesus, no, that wasn't the intention, not at all. Fauna Posted at 2:27 pm on Aug. 6, 2008 it'd be sexy if I wasn't sure it was about raping someone. I like all the little nuances and hints, they're really well placed. (one thing, it's = it is, its = belonging to 'it') Lulamae Posted at 12:07 pm on Aug. 6, 2008 Quote: from Anonymous at 8:55 pm on Aug. 6, 2008 Quote: from Lulamae at 7:50 pm on Aug. 6, 2008 That's not true and I'm going to tell you this again in a second! Not supposed to be, doofus. Damn, you should have warned me! Anonymous Posted at 11:55 am on Aug. 6, 2008 Quote: from Lulamae at 7:50 pm on Aug. 6, 2008 That's not true and I'm going to tell you this again in a second! Not supposed to be, doofus. hellomikie92 Posted at 11:50 am on Aug. 6, 2008 WTF is this? Rosaur Posted at 11:50 am on Aug. 6, 2008 Really.. amazing. gosh Lulamae Posted at 11:50 am on Aug. 6, 2008 That's not true and I'm going to tell you this again in a second! All 14 previous replies displayed.