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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Adding Reply

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Original Post
TechnoShark Posted at 5:27 pm on Sep. 11, 2008
I already posted this, but I want opinions this time.

I wouldn't say I'm much of a writer.
Churned this out in about 15 minutes.

---

That rhythm beats so furiously within your heart
And that heat vibrates from your fingertips
Because you shredded your mask years ago

You drifted deeper with me as I sank to black waters
Whispered lullabies as storms crashed above our heads
Breathed life back through my bruised lips and lungs

As my heart still beats, though weakly
As my ears still hear, though muffled
My love grows deeper like the roots
Of the oak tree where we lived

Replies
Louiise Posted at 5:31 pm on Sep. 11, 2008
very good, i liked it.