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Quote: from [m]Hey Jewlee[/m] at 11:02 am on Sep. 27, 2008[quote]They turn and begin to walk away from each other her to the metro station him to the cafe where he works past the drunks clutching bottles past the chic stores past the boarded up buildings past the place where they first met she starts down the stairs he goes through the door into the train behind the counter gone. thoughts? [/quote]
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Original Post
Hey Jewlee
Posted at 11:02 am on Sep. 27, 2008
They turn
and begin to walk
away from each other
her to the metro station
him to the cafe where he works
past the drunks clutching bottles
past the chic stores
past the boarded up buildings
past the place where they first met
she starts down the stairs
he goes through the door
into the train
behind the counter
gone.
thoughts?
Replies
nikki123
Posted at 11:20 am on Sep. 27, 2008
not bad. would be a bit longer though and have a bit more detail but its alright. mediocre. keep trying.
Louisianaaa X3
Posted at 11:16 am on Sep. 27, 2008
awe i like it verryy much
good job..
cept its mushy..
carracer
Posted at 11:05 am on Sep. 27, 2008
You said it yourself.
Its a lame poem.
sosupkthnx
Posted at 11:04 am on Sep. 27, 2008
What the fuck is this?
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