Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic Rate my poem Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]mtllcrckmn[/m] at 8:50 pm on Oct. 9, 2008[quote]Everytime i walk at home, I walk barefoot and alone, I scrape my sole against the floor, And hit my toes against the door. My soles are hot and red and tired, So tired they hurt my feet like fire, My real soul is worst for wear, I've been ripped in half with a tear. I cannot sleep with this burning pain, I don't know when I can live again, Take my soul and take my mind, And let us become intertwined, Let you solve me and I to you, Perfect team, let's try it new, Can this 'love' thing cure my aches? Or will it cut and slash and break?[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post mtllcrckmn Posted at 8:50 pm on Oct. 9, 2008 Everytime i walk at home, I walk barefoot and alone, I scrape my sole against the floor, And hit my toes against the door. My soles are hot and red and tired, So tired they hurt my feet like fire, My real soul is worst for wear, I've been ripped in half with a tear. I cannot sleep with this burning pain, I don't know when I can live again, Take my soul and take my mind, And let us become intertwined, Let you solve me and I to you, Perfect team, let's try it new, Can this 'love' thing cure my aches? Or will it cut and slash and break?

Replies Yahtzee Posted at 9:01 pm on Oct. 9, 2008 great poem carracer Posted at 9:00 pm on Oct. 9, 2008 Quote: from mtllcrckmn at 8:55 pm on Oct. 9, 2008 Quote: from carracer at 4:54 am on Oct. 10, 2008 Im not sure if this is a rhyming poem or not.    If it is the rhyme scheme is off. It's pararhyme. Its really not. You don't use pararhyme and a normal rhyme scheme in the same poem. It makes it awkward sounding. You don't really follow through with a common pattern. mtllcrckmn Posted at 8:55 pm on Oct. 9, 2008 Quote: from carracer at 4:54 am on Oct. 10, 2008 Im not sure if this is a rhyming poem or not. If it is the rhyme scheme is off. It's pararhyme. carracer Posted at 8:54 pm on Oct. 9, 2008 Im not sure if this is a rhyming poem or not. If it is the rhyme scheme is off. 4irate Posted at 8:53 pm on Oct. 9, 2008 67 Lauraaaa Posted at 8:50 pm on Oct. 9, 2008 soles* draino Posted at 8:50 pm on Oct. 9, 2008 2 All 7 previous replies displayed.