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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Adding Reply

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Topic A poem I wrote called Epic Vampire Slaughter
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Original Post
Anonymous Posted at 4:07 am on Oct. 25, 2008
Upon my neck I had a dream that one day I would join their ranks
Upon this dream that in my head  after they bit I would say thanks
And if upon I happenstance to a blooded victim find
I will gouge up into her, devour her body, soul and mind
Avoiding village mobs and slayers, living in coffins and tombs
night would be the time to play before returning to my earthly womb
alas sweet vampyre, bite this neck so I can join your epic fold
I find these days and harrowed nights
that I am always alone and cold

Tell me what you think, I was thinking of getting it published in New Yorker capitolizing on halloween but maybe it would be more artistically viable to to wait until I have more so I can publish aa book and that way im not selling out to the man

Replies
jfish Posted at 7:02 pm on Oct. 26, 2008
Any poem titled "EPIC VAMPIRE SLAUGHTER" is the best ever written in my book. And I didn't even read it yet.
Anonymous Posted at 5:33 pm on Oct. 26, 2008
i just made this up on the spot as a joke, not trying to make it good after reading a really emo poem and a bunch of people saying it was good. I wanted to see if I could write an inane poem that was as emo as possible if people would like it. It took me a minute to do this shit lol
tell me again Posted at 11:53 am on Oct. 26, 2008
It's really good, as far as poetry here goes.

If you want to publish it... it may need a bit more of a point to it though. Rather than describing something, it needs to make a statement.

Feel free to submit it though, if you don't submit you'll never know.

cherryD Posted at 4:13 am on Oct. 25, 2008
The second sentence seems too casual, the way you would say "thanks"...maybe instead of saying thanks, say something like I would be grateful or something...?
fluffymonster Posted at 4:10 am on Oct. 25, 2008
um yeah interesting..
Anonymous Posted at 4:10 am on Oct. 25, 2008
it really tells about my dreams emotion and desire. Do you think I should publish in new yorker or London times or which magazine is best for my first publishment work?
Lala ninja Posted at 4:10 am on Oct. 25, 2008
its gory
wink Posted at 4:09 am on Oct. 25, 2008
It good,I like it.Whatever you choose to do just go for.
Best of luck :)
EmileeM14 Posted at 4:08 am on Oct. 25, 2008
its... interesting...
All 9 previous replies displayed.