Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic Poem help? Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]scalywag66[/m] at 9:16 am on Nov. 16, 2008[quote]Poems are what makes up music and such. No need to be embarassed about showing your creativity with words and stanzas.   Ah well,.... In any event, all I can say is to read it to yourself and you'll see where punctuation is needed.  What if I suggest to punctuate where you dont want punctuation? [/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post Anonymous Posted at 9:05 am on Nov. 16, 2008 I had to write a poem for school... I don't know if it's any good, or if it makes any sense. It doesn't have correct punctuation yet, but a bit of help would be great. :) Fresh and clean through the mirror I see But a sordid shell of one deprived of sight And upon venturing deeper, so begins the delightful fright Shades of violet imbue the air, caging the formerly free Adrenaline lethargically coats my veins as I watch the girl in the mirror flee A vortex opens, cackling at what once lay within my right Perception falls from objects to shapes to paper cutouts, ready to ignite Incinerate these eyes, I can but pitifully plea My lids close gently, my body sways—for a flash, so disappears the unreality Fluttered open, my pupils shallowly gaze at those staring straight back Tense muscles fall limp as the violet vortex fades Yet propped-up cutouts remain—Surreal, I beg, do not return to reality A reluctant sigh plays through my lips, and my world stumbles to black Freedom is vicious, I reflect as tears crawl out of my eyes, dripping in somber yellow shades.

Replies Anonymous Posted at 9:22 am on Nov. 16, 2008 I suppose I'm just not a big fan of poetry, so it's particularly embarrassing. That would be great, if you'd like. I'm actually not seeking help with punctuation. I plan on putting the punctuation in soon. (I reread what I originally posted, and it was a bit confusing.) I'm really just wondering if this is making any sense... because of course, it makes sense to me, but there could easily be a failure in communication, you know? scalywag66 Posted at 9:16 am on Nov. 16, 2008 Poems are what makes up music and such. No need to be embarassed about showing your creativity with words and stanzas.   Ah well,.... In any event, all I can say is to read it to yourself and you'll see where punctuation is needed.  What if I suggest to punctuate where you dont want punctuation? Anonymous Posted at 9:12 am on Nov. 16, 2008 It's done... I'm just not sure that it makes sense. That's what I was hoping for help with. Just a fresh pair of eyes? I made myself anonymous because I'm embarrassed about the having to write a poem, not because I have yet to include proper punctuation (that's just silly). scalywag66 Posted at 9:09 am on Nov. 16, 2008 are you embarassed that you're not sure of the puncutation that you had to make yourself anonymous? babecakes Posted at 9:09 am on Nov. 16, 2008 it's your poem, u do it. All 5 previous replies displayed.