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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Adding Reply

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Original Post
emmywashere3849 Posted at 1:03 pm on Nov. 17, 2008
I need a title
and I cant decide whether or not I like the last stanza, should I drop it or change it.

-------------------------------------

In the silence of my mind
I hear you
You call out to me and I try to find you
but I can not, you are not there

In the darkness of my mind
I see you
You hold out your arms to me
But I can not get to you, you are not there

In the blandness of my mind
I taste you
You are so sweet, and beckon to me
But I can not have you, you are not there

In the hallow of my mind
I feel you
You are so warm, I try to hold you
But I can not, you are not there

In the stillness of my mind
I smell you
You are sensual and so inviting
But I can not really breath you in, you are not there

-----------------------------------

In the wakening of my mind
I have you
You are in my arms, so safe
I'll keep you, because you are right here

Replies
nearlyinsane Posted at 1:14 pm on Nov. 17, 2008
Sensing you.

Something to do with senses would be PERFECT.

P.S. I like it :D

Written in Love Posted at 1:07 pm on Nov. 17, 2008
Awaken in Silence
RIMHfire Posted at 1:04 pm on Nov. 17, 2008
Wake.
All 3 previous replies displayed.