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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Adding Reply

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Topic What's everyone think?
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Original Post
Anonymous Posted at 7:46 pm on Nov. 23, 2008
Such sweet beauty,
it captivates me,
and forever I am bound,
both in heart and in soul,
to feel such great affection.

So gorgeous is her body,
so attractive her features.
I must confess
that as each second does pass,
so does my infatuation.

My love for her grows stronger,
unhindered by any force of Earth or Heaven above.
And so it is
that this love I feel for her,
the one whom I call my closest friend,
is unto itself a curse.

How pitiable it is
that I should fall
for one who I am so close to,
and yet am perpetually far from.
Forever by her side
yet never able to hold her in my arms.

Though I know it to be a dream
which shall forever remain unobtainable,
my desire and longing for her affections
shall not die.
For eternity I am doomed
to the hell of unrequited love for a friend.

Replies
carracer Posted at 7:58 pm on Nov. 23, 2008
I like it, but I don't think the idea is very original.

I will give it a seven.

I agree with you about the free verse thing though.

Rhymes set unwanted limitations.

If you ever want to talk about poetry message me. :)

Anonymous Posted at 7:54 pm on Nov. 23, 2008
Quote: from Skyler72 at 10:49 pm on Nov. 23, 2008

I like poems that rhyme. 5/10.
I can't rhyme without turning things to crap. So, free verse for the win.
carracer Posted at 7:50 pm on Nov. 23, 2008
Quote: from Kjanhot at 7:48 pm on Nov. 23, 2008

Too long!!

Wow.
Not true at all.

Quit complaining.

Skyler72 rawrr Posted at 7:49 pm on Nov. 23, 2008
I like poems that rhyme. 5/10.
Kjanhot Posted at 7:48 pm on Nov. 23, 2008
Too long!!
MixedDelight Posted at 7:48 pm on Nov. 23, 2008
It's pleasant.
HeavenShallBurn Posted at 7:47 pm on Nov. 23, 2008
Its o.k... I gave it an 8
All 7 previous replies displayed.