Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic Poem: What do you think? Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from Anonymous at 6:35 pm on Dec. 21, 2008[quote]Good? Bad? Mediocre? Pointless? Write what you think. I'm just curious. For every good poem I write, I also write a lot of reflections and mediocre poems. Today I am a broken bottle, Lost in a stormy sea. My sharp edges have been diminished, After crashing through the strong current. Maybe I will be picked up, Maybe I will wash up on shore. But then again maybe not, And I will sink to dark depths unknown by you, Unknown by all. Today I am a broken bottle, Alone in a salty sea. My sharp wit has been diminished, After having nothing around to test it. Maybe I will meet someone, Maybe I will be able to speak. Bu then again maybe not, And my shining mind will drift into a giant maelstrom, Unknown by all.   Today I am but broken glass, Nothing left to identify me. My body has been diminished, After breaking off against the sand and rock. Maybe I will be better once more, Maybe I will be rejuvenated. But then again maybe not, And my crafty glamour will be lost for eternity, Unknown by all. Today I am no longer here, Part of the ocean's flow. My existence has been diminished, After having nothing to sustain it's splendor. Maybe it was for the better of all, Maybe I will have a better life this way. But then again maybe not, And my pain will drift though the world's waves, Unknown by all. [/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post Anonymous Posted at 6:35 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 Good? Bad? Mediocre? Pointless? Write what you think. I'm just curious. For every good poem I write, I also write a lot of reflections and mediocre poems. Today I am a broken bottle, Lost in a stormy sea. My sharp edges have been diminished, After crashing through the strong current. Maybe I will be picked up, Maybe I will wash up on shore. But then again maybe not, And I will sink to dark depths unknown by you, Unknown by all. Today I am a broken bottle, Alone in a salty sea. My sharp wit has been diminished, After having nothing around to test it. Maybe I will meet someone, Maybe I will be able to speak. Bu then again maybe not, And my shining mind will drift into a giant maelstrom, Unknown by all.   Today I am but broken glass, Nothing left to identify me. My body has been diminished, After breaking off against the sand and rock. Maybe I will be better once more, Maybe I will be rejuvenated. But then again maybe not, And my crafty glamour will be lost for eternity, Unknown by all. Today I am no longer here, Part of the ocean's flow. My existence has been diminished, After having nothing to sustain it's splendor. Maybe it was for the better of all, Maybe I will have a better life this way. But then again maybe not, And my pain will drift though the world's waves, Unknown by all.

Replies Anonymous Posted at 7:04 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 Quote: from pinkrazrscocaine at 6:54 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 and another thing, know your types of poetry. yours is sort of a random, uneven blend of a sort of an elegy, lyrical type thing. and the "But then again maybe not" line sounds very informal. Fair enough. [Note what I said before the actual poem about sometimes writing "self reflections".] pinkrazrscocaine Posted at 6:54 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 and another thing, know your types of poetry. yours is sort of a random, uneven blend of a sort of an elegy, lyrical type thing. and the "But then again maybe not" line sounds very informal. Anonymous Posted at 6:53 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 Quote: from pinkrazrscocaine at 6:50 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 Quote: from Anonymous at 6:43 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 Quote: from pinkrazrscocaine at 6:40 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 there is absolutely no respect for the delicate art of poetry in this batch of word vomit.    Care to elaborate?    I want to know what was wrong with it.    Not just that it was a heap of horse excretion. sure, sure. first off, I'm not a huge fan of anaphora, myself.. it is sort of in limbo between a free verse poem, and one with rhythm and rhyme. secondly, you're stanzas are all to pieces.     before writing anymore poetry I'd suggest reading, studying, and analyzing classical poetry from a myriad of poets. then work to find your own niche... Thanks. I don't really like anaphora either, which leaves the question why I wrote it the way I did. I usually find repetition sickening and bland. Thanks for the advice. I'll get on that. I haven't been able to get any great influence lately. pinkrazrscocaine Posted at 6:50 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 Quote: from Anonymous at 6:43 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 Quote: from pinkrazrscocaine at 6:40 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 there is absolutely no respect for the delicate art of poetry in this batch of word vomit. Care to elaborate? I want to know what was wrong with it. Not just that it was a heap of horse excretion. sure, sure. first off, I'm not a huge fan of anaphora, myself.. it is sort of in limbo between a free verse poem, and one with rhythm and rhyme. secondly, you're stanzas are all to pieces. before writing anymore poetry I'd suggest reading, studying, and analyzing classical poetry from a myriad of poets. then work to find your own niche... Anonymous Posted at 6:43 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 Quote: from pinkrazrscocaine at 6:40 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 there is absolutely no respect for the delicate art of poetry in this batch of word vomit. Care to elaborate? I want to know what was wrong with it. Not just that it was a heap of horse excretion. coughcough Posted at 6:43 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 I liked it shows true inspiration Killer Tofu Posted at 6:40 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 I liked it. pinkrazrscocaine Posted at 6:40 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 there is absolutely no respect for the delicate art of poetry in this batch of word vomit. broken1 Posted at 6:40 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 I thought it was good. its deep so babybluebitch probably didnt get it. Anonymous Posted at 6:37 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 Quote: from babybluebitch at 6:36 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 bad right off the bat Really? Why? babybluebitch Posted at 6:36 pm on Dec. 21, 2008 bad right off the bat All 11 previous replies displayed.