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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Adding Reply

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Topic my new story i dont have a title
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Original Post
coughcough Posted at 8:11 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
she bit her lip as he pushed harder on her she opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out. He pushed down harder on her she tried to push him away but she wasnt strong enough to push him away.  

Finaly he was gone she got up and walked back into the party her friend brought her to, She took out her cell and dialed 911 the sirens sounded and every one ran and stared at her. now she was alone, cold and scared.


this is what i have so far idk what do u think?

Replies
naturechild Posted at 8:25 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
sounds like a rip off of speak. the book? yeah it's been done before. start something not so...depressing. happy stories!
StopXXwatch Posted at 8:17 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
Wow that wasn't very vivid at all. I couldn't apint a picture. I'mno JK but hell you gotta workharder than that! I wanna be a writer myself. And how about  The Defamation of Innocence.
XOallixs0n Posted at 8:15 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
why the FUCK would you post that?
In Our Eyes Posted at 8:14 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
Will there be a second book?
jacobs Posted at 8:13 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
you said push too many times. find other words.
ToodleWoodles Posted at 8:13 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
umm yeah, im gonna leave this topic now.
Half ton hero Posted at 8:13 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
Thats it? lame.
whips handcuffs Posted at 8:13 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
that's a story?
drowningfish Posted at 8:13 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
that should be like a PSA
dangers of partying or somehting like thhat
xwhylovewhyhatex Posted at 8:13 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
A bit short for a story.
beautifoul Posted at 8:13 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
police came pretty quick.
Miss Vanity Posted at 8:12 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
You should make it more descriptive.
mrsgabbysmall Posted at 8:12 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
um, how 'bout RAPE?
MystiqueBeauty16 Posted at 8:12 pm on Dec. 26, 2008
That's not cool.

At all.

All 14 previous replies displayed.