things were good. it was mainly the four of us: me, eric, emily, and kate. there were a lot of other people too, but the 4 of us were always there and the four of us always hung out with each other. we would pretty much hang out every night and sometimes all day. seriously, life was good. we all got a long and had A LOT of fun together. we partied, got embarassingly high and drunk, had deep talks, etc. it was awesome haha.

then for the past week, it was pretty much like i had been ousted from the group. they stopped inviting me places. i would only see them every once in awhile in the halls. and i have astronomy with emily and i would see her there but that was it. it was like they didn't want to be around me anymore.

emily and eric started dating (yea, that was fast) and emily coined me as her best friend here like on the second week and i was thinking maybe eric got jealous of me being around or maybe emily didn't need me anymore or something (like she had a main guy, eric, and a main girl, kate, and i was just an extra person).

i was seriously getting lonely because it was like i had no friends. me and my roommate are friendly but we don't have much in common. so i just sort of stayed in my room alone for a few days. it sucked and i wanted to leave. i would call them and see whats up, but it was like they were ignoring my calls and wouldn't call back.

the 3 of them went to a concert too without me. wtf?

anyways, so emily invited me to do astronomy homework together, so i saw it as a chance to see what was going on.

i asked her and she admitted they had been distant. and the reason pretty much shocked me. kate didn't like me. i thought me and kate were cool. we talked and laughed a lot. she invited me to dinner a few times the first 2 weeks. i don't know what was happening.

emily said that kate told her i complained too much and that she didn't like having me around anymore. she said that whenever eric and kate would call to invite me, kate would snatch the phone out of their hands or something and tell them i wasn't coming. emily and kate even argued about it a bit, but emily felt there wasn't anything she could do. she wanted to tell me, but she said she didn't know how to bring it up.

now that i think of it, yes i realied to did complain a lot. it's just my nature. and i'd be willing to be more aware and ease up on it if she were to really talk about it.

but that's no excuse to be fake and make me think she was my friend, then turn around, talk shit about me, and then persuade my other friends to not hang out with me. come on people! this is college! we're supposed to be adults! that shit she pulled was so immature and so high school.

emily said i should talk to her about it. not attack her or anything, but have a discussion.

but now that i know how kate is, it's like i'm sort of afraid to talk to her. and what good would come out of discussing things with her anyways? she still wouldn't like me. things aren't going to be the same. i'd still feel like the "odd one out" in the group.

blah. college sucks.