I. was. bad.
Like, I knew I messed around a lot but it was more than I thought when I counted all of them.
when I went to school, i had just broken up with my boyfriend and decided I wanted to meet some new guys. so I did. a lot. after first semester, I said no more random sex, but when I went on spring break I went crazy again. there were just so many hot guys!
I am so ashamed ... 16 guys in one school year!!!!!
tell me I am not the only person who did this!
I don't think its "wrong" to sleep around, but I think you are missing out on something more. When you have sex with any random person, you make it not special anymore, its just something that you do when you feel like it. If you choose to only have sex with somebody you are in love with it is a totally different experience. I would take the second option over lots of sex with strangers every time. Maybe you can have lots of random sex with strangers and then some day settle down with just one person you love, but I can't imagine it would be the same. Sex will already have lost its...I can't think of the word...specialness (I know thats not a real word, but you know what I mean). It will have been reduced to a purely physical act, rather than the deeper, intimate expression of affection and love it could have been. Good god, I sound so corny! But I think it is true. And there is no reason that sex with somebody you love can't be just as hot and amazing as it would be with a stranger. In fact, I think it can be more so. I have certainly never been disappointed! Thats my opinion, sorry for sounding so cheesy!
Maybe you can have lots of random sex with strangers and then some day settle down with just one person you love, but I can't imagine it would be the same. Sex will already have lost its...I can't think of the word...specialness (I know thats not a real word, but you know what I mean). It will have been reduced to a purely physical act, rather than the deeper, intimate expression of affection and love it could have been.
Good god, I sound so corny! But I think it is true. And there is no reason that sex with somebody you love can't be just as hot and amazing as it would be with a stranger. In fact, I think it can be more so. I have certainly never been disappointed!
Thats my opinion, sorry for sounding so cheesy!
I am inclined to agree. While Fauna and Tigr each make valid points about individual freedoms and taught morality they seem to be taking this debate to a higher level than the OP. (Which is really neat to read, btw) When looking at just the individual it is really up to them to decide, taking into account their own personal beliefs and some of societies standards. You are what you believe you are. If you think what you did was wrong, then it probably was, but if you don't then stop worrying about it.
You're a whore. Congratulations! *throws confetti*
*throws confetti*
that's mean
My reason is 'actual' and 'substanial' enough to me. It's not about 'acceptance'. It's about 'brutal honesty'. My reason is, as I explained, how I was raised. That's, most of the time, quite an acceptable reason. This is America, love, and we speak our minds. Even if it's a negative mind thought, it's better to speak it, than to hide it.
Of course it's about acceptance, you've decided that you think it's alright to insult people regarding their sexuality simply because that's what your parents and your family have taught you to do - you don't appear to have any logic behind this opinion, you've just accepted it as the right way to behave. It's not about honesty at all, honesty would imply truth and you have no ideas about the truth behind your opinion. You simply have your opinion and that is that.
Don't even bother to try and speak for 300 million people.
I've thought it through, and the reason I feel as I am is because of how I was raised. Who are you to judge my reason? You're being rather hypocritical. You're judging me, right here, yourself, when you claim non judgement. Hmm.
Obviously that's the reason you feel the way you do, but that's not what I'm asking. I'm not asking WHY you have reached this opinion, I'm asking for the logic BEHIND your opinion. "That's just how I was raised" is a completely evasive answer. I don't think you know why you oppose sexual promiscuity - I don't think you've thought it through. What's WRONG with sexual promiscuity, WHY is it a bad thing? "That's how I was raised" isn't an answer to those questions. I just don't think you know why you think it is wrong, you've just been told it and that's reason enough for you, which I think is quite sad. You should think for yourself.
It's hardly 'degrading' and 'disgusting' when it's the truth. Brutal honesty. The way of America, love. It's better to be brutally honest, than to lie. Compassion and understanding can come through brutal honesty. Just because you state it, does not make it true. Like I said, and this is what makes me different from you, I state my way in opinion, not as passing fact.
Are you deluded? You think you're stating your views as opinion - you just said it was "the truth. Brutal honesty". How is that an opinion? You just said it was the truth? You're not stating "your way" in opinion at all, you're stating it as honesty and truth. That's the opposite of opinion.
I can give you a few reasons. One, upbringing. Many people disagree with sleeping with more than partners you've loved. Two, culture. It lies within that same upbringing factor. Three, religion. Four, simple, in my opinion, common sense. If you want to fuck around, great, but safe or not, you're still taking a chance on your life, and your 'partner's'.
How is YOUR upbringing reason enough to judge someone ELSE? Someone without your upbringing, separate from your culture? Why would you use your parent's morals and try to apply them to someone else? Surely if you're using something like upbringing as your reasoning, you have to accept that's incredibly personal and individual. I don't know how you could admonish someone else for breaking the morals of your culture, if they're not part of your culture.
How are you taking a chance on your life? As long as you practice safe sex, it's more dangerous to drive a car.
That's not a 'trait', honey, that's a 'want'. Not a 'need'. It can be controlled. Period.
Of course sex is a need. In fact, it's an imperative, a biological imperative. Don't you wonder why we crave sex? It's because we're compelled to it in order to further the species. And anything can be controlled, you can starve yourself to death, that's not really an argument.
No, it's not as 'natural as eating or breathing'. The aforementioned are necessary to live. Sex? Sex is not necessary. Fact, end of. We're also brutal murdering beings. We often crave violence. Does that mean we should act upon it?
Of course sex is necessary to live, how do you think we propagate the species? Of course an individual human can live without sex, but human beings as a group need sex as much as they need food. Sex isn't something evil to be avoided, the fact that you think murder is an appropriate comparison to sex says a lot about your views.
The risk. The risk of hurting yourself and your partner, and many people beyond you is still tehre.
How? Hurting people how? Hurting who?
If they ask, or if it's a part of the conversation, yes, I'll bring it up, because that is how society is, love. Brutal fucking honesty. I've lived through quite some offenseive things in my life, due to how I dress, but you learn to accept it, and move on, because judgement is a part of life. Brutal honesty is better than lying/surpressing. I'm hardly 'socially inept'. I'm rather social. I have a great amount of friends, family, and outside social aspects, that make up my life.
There's no need to be patronising. I would be very upset if someone, out of the blue, commented negatively on what I was wearing. I've never had to get used to it because general politeness tends to restrict comments like that. Maybe, as a suggestion, if you tried not telling people exactly what you think of them whenever the thought strikes you, you might get sweeter responses in return.
How is it 'baseless'? It's not about 'insulting' anyone. It's about telling the truth. Vulernable? If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. It's how it is. Sorry, but I was taught to speak, rather than withold. And it has yet to hurt me, or anyone I know. Like I said, I'm going to tell the truth, and if you don't like it, don't listen. It's not that hard.
Vulernable? If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. It's how it is. Sorry, but I was taught to speak, rather than withold. And it has yet to hurt me, or anyone I know. Like I said, I'm going to tell the truth, and if you don't like it, don't listen. It's not that hard.
You keep saying that you were "taught" to do this and that as if that justifies anything - could anyone ever be taught WRONG or inefficiently? Why would anyone take a lesson they've been taught, and use the fact that they've been taught it as reason enough to uphold the lesson? Don't you think critically about what you've been told, and come to your own conclusion?
Of course it's hard, it's impossible not to listen when someone is standing there, insulting you. Or telling the "brutal truth". Either way it's brutal.
It's not 'nasty', if it's how you've always lived your life. It does not completly lack compassion. But, you're not going to see that, because you're not from America. You don't know waht it's like, and you probabl never will, because yo'ure closed minded to the possiblity of speaking truth, rather than witholding mind.
Maybe you've always lived your life nastily? It certainly seems that way to me.
Wait, I'll never understand because I'm not from American or because I'm so close-minded? Or are those two things somehow interlinked?
I'm not close-minded to the idea of telling everyone exactly what you think of them, it's just that when I think about the implications of behaving that way, it's obvious to me that it would be hurtful and upsetting for people. Since I don't want to hurt and upset people, I choose to express myself more tactfully. I also try to understand people, and understand where they're coming from instead of applying the morals of MY upbringing to THEIR situation.
So - you have no actual, substantial reason as to why having many sexual partners is actually "wrong"?
My reason is 'actual' and 'substanial' enough to me.
No basis other than the fact that you were told it. What a brilliant moral foundation - no questioning, no thought, just acceptance.
It's not about 'acceptance'. It's about 'brutal honesty'.
How ridiculous that you feel that you have the right to tell people you think they're wrong, when you have absolutely no reason as to WHY you think they're wrong.
My reason is, as I explained, how I was raised. That's, most of the time, quite an acceptable reason. This is America, love, and we speak our minds. Even if it's a negative mind thought, it's better to speak it, than to hide it.
It's a shame that these values that you've merely taken on rather than thought through seem to allow you to judge others.
We can all be judgemental, but some people realise that looking down on others, and calling them names like "slut" is degrading and disgusting. I'm glad that there are people who choose to try and be compassionate, and understanding.
It's hardly 'degrading' and 'disgusting' when it's the truth. Brutal honesty. The way of America, love. It's better to be brutally honest, than to lie. Compassion and understanding can come through brutal honesty.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping with as many people as you like, as long as you're doing it safely.
Just because you state it, does not make it true. Like I said, and this is what makes me different from you, I state my way in opinion, not as passing fact.
No-one's every given me a sound reason as to why it's wrong, and neither can you.
I'll tell you something else that's a human trait - sex, having sex.
We are sexual beings, we crave and desire sex - having sex is as natural as eating or breathing.
If we consent to sex, and we make sure to protect ourselves, what's wrong with this natural, physical action?
It doesn't sound like anyone is getting hurt in this situation, the OP is enjoying a healthy sexually active life. Please explain why you so vehemently oppose this, to the point where you feel you can negatively judge her?
See above. The risk. That's a part of my reason, next to upbringing, culture, and social opinoin.
And, sorry, you tell people that you don't like what they're wearing? Who does that? You sound completely socially inept.
That's so incredibly cruel. Because of your entirely baseless viewpoint, you think it's alright to insult other people and tell them that what they're doing is wrong - on an issue where people are incredibly vulnerable.
How is it 'baseless'? It's not about 'insulting' anyone. It's about telling the truth.
Do you not think that's just a nasty way to behave? It completely lacks compassion.
I'mv ery open minded, on certain subjects, and hardly an ignorant individual. I just happen to believe with sex, must come love. The narrow minded being is he/she who cannot accept the varying viewpoint. I accept it. I tolerate it. I just happen to also disagree with it. And, I have every right to speak my mind.
I'mv ery open minded, on certain subjects, and hardly an ignorant individual. I just happen to believe with sex, must come love. The narrow minded being is he/she who cannot accept the varying viewpoint. I accept it. I tolerate it. I just happen to also disagree with it.
And, I have every right to speak my mind.
Everyone does it, whether it be mentally or verbally aloud. And, as my friend and I taught our Korean buddy, it's better to speak your mind, than hide what's going on within, even if it is something as small as what they are wearing being in disagreement with your own viewpoint.
] Simply becrause that is how I was raised. I could never have sex with someone I did not love. Even with someone I do love, it takes a year for me to be bagged. Judgement is a human trait. We all do it, whether we admit to it, or not. If someone is going to sleep with 16 people in a year, let alone a lifetime, I'm going to tell them that I think they'r ewrong. I was raised to be honest, whether it be brutal or not.
Judgement is a human trait. We all do it, whether we admit to it, or not. If someone is going to sleep with 16 people in a year, let alone a lifetime, I'm going to tell them that I think they'r ewrong. I was raised to be honest, whether it be brutal or not.
So - you have no actual, substantial reason as to why having many sexual partners is actually "wrong"? No basis other than the fact that you were told it. What a brilliant moral foundation - no questioning, no thought, just acceptance. How ridiculous that you feel that you have the right to tell people you think they're wrong, when you have absolutely no reason as to WHY you think they're wrong.
It's a shame that these values that you've merely taken on rather than thought through seem to allow you to judge others. We can all be judgemental, but some people realise that looking down on others, and calling them names like "slut" is degrading and disgusting. I'm glad that there are people who choose to try and be compassionate, and understanding.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping with as many people as you like, as long as you're doing it safely. No-one's every given me a sound reason as to why it's wrong, and neither can you. I'll tell you something else that's a human trait - sex, having sex. We are sexual beings, we crave and desire sex - having sex is as natural as eating or breathing. If we consent to sex, and we make sure to protect ourselves, what's wrong with this natural, physical action? It doesn't sound like anyone is getting hurt in this situation, the OP is enjoying a healthy sexually active life. Please explain why you so vehemently oppose this, to the point where you feel you can negatively judge her?
Well, that just makes you a narrow-minded and ignorant individual then. I'm glad I personally do not know you.
Btw, I may think someone is ugly, and has done the wrong thing, but then I remember that what I personally feel does not and should not affect the way millions of others do. Fuck, plenty of people think Ugg boots are nice or coontails but I think they are horrendous. I rarely actually speak those opinions, and I would never say to someone who wore or had either that what they were wearing was ugly, just like I'd respect someone else's sexual nature and preference.
You live in a world different than mine, then. Respect can be given, even if you disagree with one's viewpoint. But judgement is a human trait. Everyone does it, whether it be mentally or verbally aloud. And, as my friend and I taught our Korean buddy, it's better to speak your mind, than hide what's going on within, even if it is something as small as what they are wearing being in disagreement with your own viewpoint.
Yes, but the point trying to be made was that no matter how you personally feel and act gives you no option to judge someone who obviously doesn't see sex in the same way as you I, as a human, will judge. Like I said, it's a human trait, somewhat unavoidable. If you see someone in a hideous shirt, you can't help but think, sometimes aloud, "Man, what the hell was he/she thinking?" s (like previously stated) sex is something intimate and personal. That is the traditional way of looking at it. I wonder where tradition went... Basically, you have no right to say it's wrong I have every right tos ay what's right and wrong, in my opinion. You can say you personally would never do it, and disagree with it. But you cannot say it's wrong outright. Yeah, I can. And I will. I probably did I was too drunk to remember That's sickening.
Yes, but the point trying to be made was that no matter how you personally feel and act gives you no option to judge someone who obviously doesn't see sex in the same way as you
I, as a human, will judge. Like I said, it's a human trait, somewhat unavoidable. If you see someone in a hideous shirt, you can't help but think, sometimes aloud, "Man, what the hell was he/she thinking?"
s (like previously stated) sex is something intimate and personal.
That is the traditional way of looking at it. I wonder where tradition went...
Basically, you have no right to say it's wrong
I have every right tos ay what's right and wrong, in my opinion.
You can say you personally would never do it, and disagree with it. But you cannot say it's wrong outright.
Yeah, I can. And I will.
I probably did I was too drunk to remember
That's sickening.
Why? Simply becrause that is how I was raised. I could never have sex with someone I did not love. Even with someone I do love, it takes a year for me to be bagged. And why would you assume your morality, on a topic as intimately personal as sexual activity, would be relevant enough to anyone else to give you the right to judge them? Judgement is a human trait. We all do it, whether we admit to it, or not. If someone is going to sleep with 16 people in a year, let alone a lifetime, I'm going to tell them that I think they'r ewrong. I was raised to be honest, whether it be brutal or not.
Why?
Simply becrause that is how I was raised. I could never have sex with someone I did not love. Even with someone I do love, it takes a year for me to be bagged.
And why would you assume your morality, on a topic as intimately personal as sexual activity, would be relevant enough to anyone else to give you the right to judge them?
Yes, but the point trying to be made was that no matter how you personally feel and act gives you no option to judge someone who obviously doesn't see sex in the same way as you, as (like previously stated) sex is something intimate and personal.
Basically, you have no right to say it's wrong. You can say you personally would never do it, and disagree with it. But you cannot say it's wrong outright.
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