Yesterday, my nephew who I raised from the time he was 3 weeks old until he was 6 years old was hit by a car. He was at the park. And was going back to his grandmother's car. A guy hit my little boy at 45 miles per hour. My little boy was hit so badly.
I was at the hospital all last night. My little boy suffered severe brain damage. He had most of his ribs broken with a broken leg. His face was lacerated and swollen.
The doctors said that my little boy had no brain activity and would not survive off of the life machine. Today at 10:32 a.m. my boy, my sweet little angel went with God. I gave him his final kiss good bye and held his little hand. I got a moment with him.
It was like God was trying to warn me, that I survived hard things, but watching my little boy pass. I don't think I can overcome this. He was able to give a single breathe on his own, like he didn't want to go.
It is 2:27 p.m. and I came home. My family didn't want me there. I am going a really hard time with them. Live Wire, I have to bury my little boy who I considered my son. I watched him take his first steps, speak his first words, I sent him to his first day of school, I saw him graduate kindergarten. Now? I can never see him graduate high school, I can never see him drive his first car, I can never see him get married and have kids of his own.
The guy that hit him said he never saw my nephew coming. When asked why he was going so fast, he said he didn't realize.
My little boy was Alejandro Daniel Retana. Born December 3rd 1998 and died July 25th 2008. We all called him Alex. He wanted to be a soldier when he grew up like me.
I don't know if I can survive this one LW.
In war-torn countries, entire families are wiped out, entire communities die needlessly, its not about one or two deaths in a family, but one or two lone survivors . . The hurt they go through is far more devastating than anything we can imagine. So why brood over something that is bound to happen? Death is inevitable. What matters is how we handle it.
Sure, memories will remain, but not to make us cry but as something to drive us on in life. I have personally experienced the loss of a loved one, and it was so hurting that I did'nt even know about it until after he left. . . The person was the one who was closest to me and my brother, and yet we never realised it. I can still remember the last time I spoke with him several days before he left, and I still hold on to that wish that he wanted me to be able to spread my wings and fly . . It still breaks me down whenever I try to recall that evening. And it was the first serious conversation I've ever had with him. . .
But all that has come to pass, memories are nothing more than memories, and facts and events are nothing but mere facts. We, humans are nothing but made of dust. So to dust we shall return. I'm nto saying that we should not feel, but let us realise the truth behind it as well, life goes on. Are you going to let the way you feel pull you back or not?
Fact is you will survive unless you try to kill yourself. Is that what you want? Is that what your nephew to see you do? What would he want you to do? If he were able to speak to you, what would you think he would want you to do? The last thing any person would want is for their loved ones to continue brooding and wasting their life mourning over the loss of something that has taken its course.
It hurts, but thats all there is to it. When your emotions cannot carry you, you need to rely on strength and wisdom. Face it or lose it.
Let those memories be cherised forever and be the driving force that brings you to continue appreciating and caring for the lives of others. Would'nt that be what he would have really wanted for you?
I have never had something like this happen to me, so I am not going to say I know how you feel, because I dont. But I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. It can be so hard loosing someone in your family, especially when it is a young boy that was someone that you raised from a little baby. It is going to be hard not having him around, but with time, it will become a little easier to handle it. You have to remember that he is in a better place. Never forget him, and remember that he loved you. No matter what, he loved you and even know he is not around any more, he wants to see you happy and you to do well in life. I know this is going to be hard for you. It is going to take a lot of time for it to be easier to get out of bed in the morning. I do not pray, but I will keep you in my thoughts. If you ever need to talk, you are more than welcome to message me.
It is going to be hard not having him around, but with time, it will become a little easier to handle it. You have to remember that he is in a better place. Never forget him, and remember that he loved you. No matter what, he loved you and even know he is not around any more, he wants to see you happy and you to do well in life.
I know this is going to be hard for you. It is going to take a lot of time for it to be easier to get out of bed in the morning. I do not pray, but I will keep you in my thoughts.
If you ever need to talk, you are more than welcome to message me.
It just so hard because I went and got him shoes just 4 days ago. We went for ice cream and I took him to his grandmothers. I just can't believe it. I want someone to wake me up. This can't be real.
However, life goes on. I don't believe that things were meant to be, and that your nephew was meant to die, but you can learn from this experience. Live life knowing that you're living it for two people. Make the most of the time you have left, and appreciate things like you've never appreciated them before. Look at how the leaves blow in the wind. Smell the flowers. Experience the little things you always take for granted. It's very calming, and suddenly things don't seem so big and scary anymore.
Don't forget your nephew, but don't let his death stop you from living your life.
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