I'm new at my job and I'm starting to see how everyone around me is and what roles they play on each other. I just can't help but feel like I'm just being left out and forgotten about sometimes. They all know each other so I just feel so excluded sometimes.

The girls I'm interested in there seem cool. I mean I haven't talked to any yet. I guess I've tried a couple times but I didn't get anywhere. Most of the time it's just like hi and bye with the girls, so I don't really get to do anything. When I see the girls I'm interested in I tend to just get super nervous and shy away from any sort of interaction, but I usually can push out a hi. I watch other guys talk to them so easily though and I just feel like such a failure. Wondering why I can't do that. I try to forget about girls at work but it's my only possible way of meeting girls as of now. Feels like high school all over again sometimes.  

So everyday after work I'm usually really down because I've failed once again at making any sort of contact with the girls I'm into at work. I mean I don't even think I'm anyones type anyway. I don't know if they'd like me. Sure they're nice, but that doesn't mean anything.  

So yeah, I pretty much hate my job. I don't get paid enough whatsoever. The hours are mediocre. I can never focus because I'm always thinking about how to get closer to the girls I'm never around. Usually the people I'm working around at work I have no interest in whatsoever... The worst thing is knowing that I have to do it all over again tomorrow. It's like this endless cycle of dreading work. So far every one of my days there have sucked socially I guess.

The worst part of this is that I think if I didn't have such a loving family or anybody I would just end the pathetic life I'm leading. I'm sick of everything. Sick of caring. sick of trying. Sick of people.  

I just want like a drug to make me more relaxed. I don't wanna care about this stupid shit anymore. I don't want to care about anything anymore. Is there any sort of over the counter drug I can take for my mood swigs and depression?