I don't want to live anymore. My life just keeps going downhill. It never ends. I thought things would get better when I got to college, but everything got way worse. Going on my third year in college and I know where I stand in the world now. I'm nothing. My feelings mean nothing. People don't care about me. Girls... they don't care about me. I'm all alone. I've got so much stress and things to do that I don't wanna do. I don't wanna do anything anymore. I just want to escape all my problems. I feel like I want to die.
A girl at my job had a mother that died today. It was the most terrible news. They called her at work to break the bad news. It was the most awful thing to see. There was nothing I could say, or nothing to do. I couldn't do anything to make it better.
So many bad things happened today at work. It was the worst day of my life because everyday it seems like my life gets worse.
So what do I do. I don't like my job. In fact I hate it. There was a girl I was crazy about over a year who had a boyfriend for the whole year I was crazy about her. She hurt my feelings really bad and I tried for the longest to get over her. Just when it seemed that I had let go of her, she pops back up on myspace. She finds me there, and says hi.... Her and her boyfriend are all over her myspace. Why did she find me, to make me feel even worse. I mean are you that clueless! I liked you more than anyone I've ever liked, and all you're doing is putting my insides in a blender.
Anyway no there is nothing for me to look forward to. I feel like scum, dirt, nothing. I feel like this almost 75% maybe of my days.
I just want to abandon my life.
Things 'get worse' in university usually because it's the first years of really striking it out on your own, so it's balancing finding places to live, paying rent, cooking and cleaning with school and also the complications of friendships and relationships. It's a different set of problems than what most experience in high school.
You're not nothing. It's easy to feel like that, just another number, but it's not like that. To those who know you, you matter. You may not be universally known, but you are known. People will care, you just have to make yourself known to them. You have your own unique personality, set of skills, and characteristics that make you you and irreplaceable.
Sometimes it takes awhile to find that one right person for you. But you also have to put yourself out there a bit. You don't have to throw yourself at people, but the best thing to do is to be yourself and let that be seen by others. Someone will notice, and appreciate that---and it will probably be when you're not thinking about it. I know waiting sucks; I'm in that stage now myself.
You can't escape all your problems. The only thing you can do is conquer them--and you can. Make a list of the things you have to get done this week, and break it down into a manageable load. Then set short-term goals, for the next two weeks or so. Then long-term goals. Shape your life into the way you want it to be. Find stuff that makes you happy and do it. Find people you're good friends with and hang out with them. Live your life the way you want.
I'm sorry to hear about the girl at your work. There wasn't anything really that you could do at the time; when grief is really fresh, people's reactions are different. But, you can make it a bit better. Go pick out a nice card, and write her a really thoughtful note, and send it to her, just to show that you care. It will help, and you might not know how much.
If you don't like your job, I suggest you look for a new one. Life is short, and I'm sure after searching you can find a different one. In the meantime, try to make it as bearable as possible. Find things to like about it, even if they're small ones.
It's terribly hard to deal with people you've really been crazy about, or in love with. I still miss my ex-boyfriend sometimes, and whenever he changes his msn status or something I still feel a pang. But I can't let it get to me. I have a life to live, and I have people to meet and befriend, and some to fall in love with along the way. So do you. I'm assuming that she didn't really know how you felt, or she wouldn't have done that to you. There's someone out there for you, and you will find her. She's looking too, and she's probably feeling much the same as you are now. Keep that in mind, and try thinking about it when you feel down.
Don't abandon your life, because you can really make it a beautiful one. Give it a try. Show people who you are, and live in the life you've imagined.
I wish you all the best.
Why not, do something that will make you value/re-evaluate your life? Bungee jump, sky dive, drive in a high speed race car.. of course don't kill yourself, but afterwards you'll be able to re-prioritise what matters in life.
Okay, let me get this strait. Your friend's mother died, and YOU'RE being all mopey. I know, feeling down sucks and it can be really hard, but mostly it just takes a reality check. Your life ISN'T that bad. You're in college. You have friends. I don't know what your problem is, because you don't seem to really have one. Open your eyes bro. Life is full of bummers. But it has even more good things too. Unless you're too busy focusing on a bummer.
Open your eyes bro. Life is full of bummers. But it has even more good things too. Unless you're too busy focusing on a bummer.
No. You're wrong. My friends mother dying didn't affect me. You have no idea what my life is about so don't act like it. Stop acting like I'm another dumb teenager because I'm not.
Quote: from fezzy at 10:17 pm on Mar. 20, 2008 I'm sorry you feel that way. Is there anything we can do as the Livewire community to help? I need to numb my feelings. I don't wanna feel like this anymore. How do I discreetly get drugs I need?
I'm sorry you feel that way. Is there anything we can do as the Livewire community to help?
I need to numb my feelings. I don't wanna feel like this anymore. How do I discreetly get drugs I need?
Drugs never help in the long term you need psyhcological therapy with another human being.
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