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Original Post
Anonymous Posted at 2:01 pm on Oct. 25, 2006
I know this is kinda long but please read this, I really am in dire need of help.

I just got the shock of a lifetime really, my long distance girlfriend dumped me a few weeks ago because she couldn't handle the distance between us and has regretted that decision ever since and I still love her and wanted to get back with her.

Today I got my shot really and I took it. And she said she couldn't ask me to take her back because she would be asking me to be a part of something that I might not want..

At most I thought maybe she wanted an open relationship but it turns out in fact that she's pregnant.
2 weeks ago not very long after she dumped me she had sex and is now pregnant... and she said she's sure she's always been to the doctor.

Now over the last few weeks I've had issues involving trust with her, I can't believe she could lie about something as huge as this but could she be pregnant? can you tell so soon?

And do i really want to be apart of that, I still love her and I can't help but think yes, I will but would it be a bad decision?

God I'm so shocked and confused right now...
Oh btw I'm 18 and she's 15, and she hasn't told the father yet, he's also 15... I think.
And she doesn't know whether she will keep the baby or not...

Replies
Anonymous Posted at 8:45 am on Oct. 26, 2006
It appears she doesn't want the baby, she may be considering an abortion....and actually really wants me back as a boyfriend.
Although if she does keep the baby I've been informed by a friend of hers that she would like me to be the father, but isn't sure and won't ask me.
He wasn't actually supposed to tell me...
Kid A Posted at 12:28 am on Oct. 26, 2006
she is not worth your time. believe me. end it forever now and don't look back. you don't want to be a part of that. she is also only 15. she still has maturing to do and her opinions will be changing on a lot of things, maybe even her feelings for you.

this is what you should do. don't talk to here or be in contact with her in any way for at least 6 months. otherwise you will keep feeding those feelings that you have for her. you are in college. have fun. go to parties. make out with random girls, try out the whole fuck buddy thing. if you are single when you graduate college, and you still think you might have feelings for her then look her up.

Anonymous Posted at 12:21 am on Oct. 26, 2006
I'm thinking of ending it completely but not because she's pregnant, that doesn't bother me nearly enough as it should but I took a long think and happened to realise that before we started going out we made our feelings for each other perfectly clear and she said she loved me, but regardless of that she went out with another guy.

During our relationship she kissed that very same guy and now she's pregnant after having sex with that same guy.

So my honest opinion right now is that she has feelings for him. I just really can't deal with all this.

Anonymous Posted at 3:21 pm on Oct. 25, 2006
Quote: from pan at 11:13 pm on Oct. 25, 2006

To be honest, if she really loved you and wanted you then why would she have sex with another person (regardless of whether or not you've broken up)?

Ah, I have no idea if you can if a girl is pregnant within two weeks. Did she get a home pregnancy test, or actually have it done at the doctor's office?  

It's your decision to stay with her or not. From what you have said you really do love her, and she says so... Be practical though, is this relationship really going to work?  


Well she did say she had seen a doctor. And in reference to your comment that I have now made bold in the quote, I've been actually wondering that myself...

pan Posted at 3:13 pm on Oct. 25, 2006
To be honest, if she really loved you and wanted you then why would she have sex with another person (regardless of whether or not you've broken up)?

Ah, I have no idea if you can if a girl is pregnant within two weeks. Did she get a home pregnancy test, or actually have it done at the doctor's office?

It's your decision to stay with her or not. From what you have said you really do love her, and she says so... Be practical though, is this relationship really going to work?

big mac Posted at 2:45 pm on Oct. 25, 2006
Quote: from Anonymous at 5:41 pm on Oct. 25, 2006

Thanks to those of you who took the time to give me some advice, I love her and want to be with her and I'd say yes right now expect this is a big decision for me, and I think id need a little more time to think things over, I have only known all this for a few hours, I'm still actually in shock because it was the very last thing I expected to find out...

Thats a good choice. Honestly, it is not up to us to tell you what decision or path to take in your life. I am not you, i have not felt what you have felt with this person. the only thing i can do is offer advice and tell you what I'd do in your situation.

And i would think things through, which your doing. Just don't rush into something this large, this fast, you may end up regretting it down the road. Your doing the mature thing by waiting, thinking and letting things set.

I wish you all the luck my friend,
BM

Anonymous Posted at 2:41 pm on Oct. 25, 2006
Thanks to those of you who took the time to give me some advice, I love her and want to be with her and I'd say yes right now expect this is a big decision for me, and I think id need a little more time to think things over, I have only known all this for a few hours, I'm still actually in shock because it was the very last thing I expected to find out...
big mac Posted at 2:28 pm on Oct. 25, 2006
Quote: from Anonymous at 5:26 pm on Oct. 25, 2006

She does want to be with me she doesn't doesn't want to load something this big onto me...
She can't ask me to be a part of this because she doesn't think it would be fair on me...

I think that is a very wise decision on her part.

But in the end, you have to ask yourself this important question: Do you want to be a part of it?

OverTheAir Posted at 2:28 pm on Oct. 25, 2006
well its still up to you at the end of the day. do you really want to deal with all of this?
Anonymous Posted at 2:26 pm on Oct. 25, 2006
She does want to be with me she doesn't doesn't want to load something this big onto me...
She can't ask me to be a part of this because she doesn't think it would be fair on me...
big mac Posted at 2:18 pm on Oct. 25, 2006
If you two have broken up, and then she had sex with someone else.

Technically, that is not cheating seeing that your relationship was ended.

Unfortunately, you now harbour feelings for a person who does not want to be with you anymore.

I'm sorry to hear that she dose not want a relationship anymore, and i am sorry to hear that you feel so strongly for her and then this enters your life. Yes it is possible to find out that she is pregnant quite early in the pregnancy, how early, I'm not sure.

Your feelings for her may never go away. You may have feelings for her for a long time. I believe that this does not have to be a bad thing. I believe in taking those feelings and channeling them somewhere else, essentially know they are there, but do not recognizing them.

You have to ask yourself, do you want to be involved with someone who dumped you, and then got pregnant with another man? Possibly one she barley knows? You said it yourself, you've has trust issues. I think trust is a vital foundation for any relationship, and to me, it does not sound like the situation she has gotten herself into,m and the way she has made you feel about all this is a healthy path to follow in life.

I do hope this has helped in some way? Comments/ Questions? Concerns?

Warm regards,
BM


OverTheAir Posted at 2:15 pm on Oct. 25, 2006
sounds like a basketfull of problems to me, but its really just up to you in the end if you want to help her out. You will if you really truly care for her. About knowing you're pregnant in 2 weeks thing she could be telling the truth, it depends on when her period is. The earliest test I know of is first response, which can detect pregnancy 5 days before a missed period.
Anonymous Posted at 2:12 pm on Oct. 25, 2006
Quote: from kenseth17 at 10:09 pm on Oct. 25, 2006

I hate to break this to you but if she had the sex after you broke up she didnt cheat on you

I didn't say she cheated on me.
What I want to know is can you tell whether a girl is pregnant 2 weeks after having sex?
And would it be a wise decision to go back to my ex-girlfriend even though she's pregnant with anoth guys baby.

kenseth17 Posted at 2:09 pm on Oct. 25, 2006
I hate to break this to you but if she had the sex after you broke up she didnt cheat on you
Anonymous Posted at 2:05 pm on Oct. 25, 2006
Quote: from myeyesburn at 10:04 pm on Oct. 25, 2006

sooo...did she cheat on you???

During the 6 month relationship she did once, but it was simply a kiss or well she swears to me that was it.

This incident however happened after the relationship ended therefore I know its not cheating....

Most recent 15 of 16 previous replies displayed.