I want to got to the party, i just don't want to drink, i don't want to give in just because i want to go to the party. How can i get the massage across that i don't want to get drunk?
It's purely your choice and it's good that you are prepared to stand by that and not give in. Just tell her simply, you don't want to drink and you don't need it to have fun. Then if she doesn't want you there that's honestly her problem.
exactly and if she dont listen then thats up to her you dont need her party to have a good time go out and make your own fun or something