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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Teen Alcohol & Substance Abuse / Adding Reply

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Topic My Boyfriend...
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Original Post
rainey Posted at 10:40 am on Nov. 30, 2008
and I kind of wish he'd cut back. I don't mind that he does it (as long as it isn't around me, as I am very bothered by smoke of any kind). But in the past year he has moved from doing it purely socially to a few times a week and now he does it every day, sometimes several times. He even did it the other day while I was at his house. I looked up from picking out a movie to watch and he was lighting up. I was like um, what are you doing? and he just apologized and went outside. When he came back in he said he was sorry and he wouldn't do it again. I really don't mind that he does it but I'm worried that he's dependent on it now.

So here's my question-
Should I just ask what's going on or should I also tell him I'm worried that he can't be without it now and I would like him to cut back?

Any help much appreciated. I don't want to be naggy or annoying. I just love him and am concerned.

Replies
circa Posted at 2:11 pm on Dec. 2, 2008
Quote: from Styx at 4:14 pm on Dec. 2, 2008

Quote: from yunasfinalfantasy at 1:41 pm on Nov. 30, 2008

threaten to break up with him if he won't listen to you about stopping.

No. Bad idea. Weed means a lot to people who smoke it. If a girl made me pick between her or the ganja, I'd break up with her, and so would many of my friends.

By all means, try and get the guy to slow down... but be respectful.


This is true, though there are special cases where the guy is dependent on the girl, etc.

If he doesn't prune you and spoil you with affection and care, don't threaten anything; politely ask and convince him not to smoke, whether it's by suggesting something new or fucking the boy. He'll learn, we're trainable.

styX Posted at 1:14 pm on Dec. 2, 2008
Quote: from yunasfinalfantasy at 1:41 pm on Nov. 30, 2008

threaten to break up with him if he won't listen to you about stopping.

No. Bad idea. Weed means a lot to people who smoke it. If a girl made me pick between her or the ganja, I'd break up with her, and so would many of my friends.

By all means, try and get the guy to slow down... but be respectful.

Xusk Posted at 8:34 am on Dec. 1, 2008
Quote: from rainey at 10:40 am on Nov. 30, 2008

I was like um, what are you doing? and he just apologized and went outside. When he came back in he said he was sorry and he wouldn't do it again. I really don't mind that he does it but I'm worried that he's dependent on it now.  

Well it seems he respects you like he should, but from that, what's the real problem?

If it's just him being happy getting high, then you really need to rethink and respect that before a problem does start.

Quote: from rainey at 10:43 am on Nov. 30, 2008


Quote: from yunasfinalfantasy at 10:41 am on Nov. 30, 2008

threaten to break up with him if he won't listen to you about stopping.

I tried that like six months ago and he just ended up lying about it. :(


Which it should have ended there, because the truth is, that's not love and someone who truely loves you would NEVER try to give you a altamatum.

You have alot of learning to do, you can't change someone to your liking. There's plenty of other suckers out there if you want that.

All you get with that is you being happy while he puts on a show. It's just like all the forced marriages out there(ending in a 95%? divorce rate).

So if that's the only thing bothering you is him getting high, then you should cherish the time you spend with him because that should be the least of your worries.

Here's some things to go over:
1.Is he really smoking alot? a)he must be high everytime he is around you and he must be smoking around you also. If he's only smoking a few bowls aday, that's nothing.
2. Is he still productive? a)Finishing school, going to work, hanging with the g/f, etc.
3. Is he neglecting you because he's high? a)Being mean, smoking instead of giving you time, etc. or is he just high while giving you attention?
4. Think of why you feel this way, is it a legitimate opinion. Is it more then you just being selfish, because there plenty of people who smoke all the time(myself included) and still live life just like anyone else and probably with better quality. Yeah SMOKING is bad, but Marijuana isn't.

lonelystranger13 Posted at 8:25 am on Dec. 1, 2008
just smoke with him then you'll understand lol
Kris10bella Posted at 12:54 pm on Nov. 30, 2008
get him help before it ruins his life.
MushroomSatsujin Posted at 11:59 am on Nov. 30, 2008
Talk to him. Tell him how you feel about how much he smokes. Tell him its ok to get stoned every once in a while but you feel he does it too much and you are worried (though I dont think you should be)
bosss Posted at 11:34 am on Nov. 30, 2008
tell him how you feel about it and that you want him to cut down, and if he doesn't do anything about it or if he lies to you he's not worth it at all
rainey Posted at 10:43 am on Nov. 30, 2008
Quote: from yunasfinalfantasy at 10:41 am on Nov. 30, 2008

threaten to break up with him if he won't listen to you about stopping.

I tried that like six months ago and he just ended up lying about it. :(

abbigayle303 Posted at 10:42 am on Nov. 30, 2008
idk
rileyana Posted at 10:41 am on Nov. 30, 2008
Quote: from yunasfinalfantasy at 10:41 am on Nov. 30, 2008

threaten to break up with him if he won't listen to you about stopping.

this to the quantity of 7

yunasfinalfantasy Posted at 10:41 am on Nov. 30, 2008
threaten to break up with him if he won't listen to you about stopping.
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