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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Teen Alcohol & Substance Abuse / Adding Reply

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Topic One pill, two pill. Three pill, four pill
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Original Post
drifting Posted at 9:20 pm on June 30, 2009
And the benzos slowly overwhelm my thoughts...

Replies
Poker Shark Posted at 4:50 am on July 3, 2009
Quote: from drifting at 7:45 am on July 2, 2009

Quote: from Narfled the Garthok at 11:07 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from Poker Shark at 3:54 am on July 1, 2009

I am a Valium taker and get around 50 a month but have never been hooked on it. I've been taking it for three years and if I take it too often it just stops working so I've always taken it occasionally.

  I do abuse it sometimes when I'm going through bad depression. I'll take it when I'm not anxious when I just want to numb myself and escape. I'll take more than prescribe if I'm in that frame of mind and don't care. I'm supposed to take 3 and I'll take 5 sometimes and if I really don't give a fuck sometimes it's a handful.

  I haven't been taking it this last month though because I OD'd shortly after getting the last prescription filled. I took about 80 plus a few packs of sleeping pills. I don't wanna go back to the Dr. too early or else they'll think I'm addicted or I'll have to tell them I tried to kill myself with it which creates a potential liability issue for them or something.

  I've done okay with out it though. Was fairly anxious at school this week but not unbearably, I guess. I will need to get more before I have to an oral presentation though because I have a huge fear of public speaking and I must look so pathetic panicing in front of everyone.    

  I hate getting tolerant to benzo's but maybe I'd be addicted if I didn't get tolerant so quickly.

  /ramble


 

 You get 50 a month, you take more than you are supposed to when you feel "depression", you have OD'd on your medication.  

 And you are not hooked to valium why?  

 I wish people who are clearly addicted to their medication would just come clean about it. It is not going to make you look bad (you are prescribed to it for a reason, not because you are a junkie), I think it is more ridiculous when people try to fight psychological addiction. Denial only makes the addiction grow more.


He may abuse it, but not be addicted.  

I mean, if he can literally stop at any point in time, not suffer from withdraw to bad, and doesnt feel physically and mentally reliant, then I wouldnt say he is addicted.  

Now me, I KNOW Im physically and mentally reliant on my Ativan. I am not happy if I dont have it. I know I wont be happy if I dont have it. If I miss a dose, I get really depressed, shaky, etc. Then on top of all of that, I do abuse it.  

I dont know. Maybe he is addicted to it to an extent.



I would admit it (online at least) if I were addicted. I admit that I'm completely addicted to cigarettes and have been addicted to meth in the past.

I just have never experienced any craving for Valium and I most days I don't take it. I haven't taken it in a month I haven't had any withdrawal symptoms like worsened anxiety/insomnia/whatever. In fact I've never had withdrawal symptoms from it.

It's not like I'm claiming to have taken it every day for a long time and stopped without incident. I haven't taken it every day for any long periods.. Ever

I understand how the drug could be very addictive in fact sometimes I think it's strange I haven't gotten addicted to it but because of tolerance and side-effects (it slows my mental and physical performance as well as making me feel a bit sick in the stomach) I've just never taken it with that kind of regularity.

Rickenbacker Posted at 9:36 am on July 2, 2009
I can honestly say I am not psych. addicted to Klonopin, even though I get 120 1mg tablets a month. I rarely take all of them, and I never take more than I should. I believe that if you take them as directed, you won't be psych. addicted!
drifting Posted at 3:15 pm on July 1, 2009
Quote: from Narfled the Garthok at 11:07 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from Poker Shark at 3:54 am on July 1, 2009

I am a Valium taker and get around 50 a month but have never been hooked on it. I've been taking it for three years and if I take it too often it just stops working so I've always taken it occasionally.  

 I do abuse it sometimes when I'm going through bad depression. I'll take it when I'm not anxious when I just want to numb myself and escape. I'll take more than prescribe if I'm in that frame of mind and don't care. I'm supposed to take 3 and I'll take 5 sometimes and if I really don't give a fuck sometimes it's a handful.  

 I haven't been taking it this last month though because I OD'd shortly after getting the last prescription filled. I took about 80 plus a few packs of sleeping pills. I don't wanna go back to the Dr. too early or else they'll think I'm addicted or I'll have to tell them I tried to kill myself with it which creates a potential liability issue for them or something.  

 I've done okay with out it though. Was fairly anxious at school this week but not unbearably, I guess. I will need to get more before I have to an oral presentation though because I have a huge fear of public speaking and I must look so pathetic panicing in front of everyone.

 I hate getting tolerant to benzo's but maybe I'd be addicted if I didn't get tolerant so quickly.  

 /ramble


You get 50 a month, you take more than you are supposed to when you feel "depression", you have OD'd on your medication.

And you are not hooked to valium why?

I wish people who are clearly addicted to their medication would just come clean about it. It is not going to make you look bad (you are prescribed to it for a reason, not because you are a junkie), I think it is more ridiculous when people try to fight psychological addiction. Denial only makes the addiction grow more.


He may abuse it, but not be addicted.

I mean, if he can literally stop at any point in time, not suffer from withdraw to bad, and doesnt feel physically and mentally reliant, then I wouldnt say he is addicted.

Now me, I KNOW Im physically and mentally reliant on my Ativan. I am not happy if I dont have it. I know I wont be happy if I dont have it. If I miss a dose, I get really depressed, shaky, etc. Then on top of all of that, I do abuse it.

I dont know. Maybe he is addicted to it to an extent.

Narfled the Garthok Posted at 8:07 am on July 1, 2009
Quote: from Poker Shark at 3:54 am on July 1, 2009

I am a Valium taker and get around 50 a month but have never been hooked on it. I've been taking it for three years and if I take it too often it just stops working so I've always taken it occasionally.

I do abuse it sometimes when I'm going through bad depression. I'll take it when I'm not anxious when I just want to numb myself and escape. I'll take more than prescribe if I'm in that frame of mind and don't care. I'm supposed to take 3 and I'll take 5 sometimes and if I really don't give a fuck sometimes it's a handful.

I haven't been taking it this last month though because I OD'd shortly after getting the last prescription filled. I took about 80 plus a few packs of sleeping pills. I don't wanna go back to the Dr. too early or else they'll think I'm addicted or I'll have to tell them I tried to kill myself with it which creates a potential liability issue for them or something.

I've done okay with out it though. Was fairly anxious at school this week but not unbearably, I guess. I will need to get more before I have to an oral presentation though because I have a huge fear of public speaking and I must look so pathetic panicing in front of everyone.  

I hate getting tolerant to benzo's but maybe I'd be addicted if I didn't get tolerant so quickly.

/ramble


You get 50 a month, you take more than you are supposed to when you feel "depression", you have OD'd on your medication.

And you are not hooked to valium why?

I wish people who are clearly addicted to their medication would just come clean about it. It is not going to make you look bad (you are prescribed to it for a reason, not because you are a junkie), I think it is more ridiculous when people try to fight psychological addiction. Denial only makes the addiction grow more.

Rickenbacker Posted at 7:58 am on July 1, 2009
I am prescribed Klonopin (benzo) and have a high tolerance to it. It takes 1.5mg to even begin to quell my anxiety. I try to take as little as possible to keep my tolerance at bay. I never have taken a super-high dose so that I don't experience euphoric effects that might make me psychologically addicted. I am clearly physically addicted, though.
Poker Shark Posted at 3:54 am on July 1, 2009
I am a Valium taker and get around 50 a month but have never been hooked on it. I've been taking it for three years and if I take it too often it just stops working so I've always taken it occasionally.

I do abuse it sometimes when I'm going through bad depression. I'll take it when I'm not anxious when I just want to numb myself and escape. I'll take more than prescribe if I'm in that frame of mind and don't care. I'm supposed to take 3 and I'll take 5 sometimes and if I really don't give a fuck sometimes it's a handful.

I haven't been taking it this last month though because I OD'd shortly after getting the last prescription filled. I took about 80 plus a few packs of sleeping pills. I don't wanna go back to the Dr. too early or else they'll think I'm addicted or I'll have to tell them I tried to kill myself with it which creates a potential liability issue for them or something.

I've done okay with out it though. Was fairly anxious at school this week but not unbearably, I guess. I will need to get more before I have to an oral presentation though because I have a huge fear of public speaking and I must look so pathetic panicing in front of everyone.

I hate getting tolerant to benzo's but maybe I'd be addicted if I didn't get tolerant so quickly.

/ramble

drifting Posted at 12:16 am on July 1, 2009
Quote: from august 24 2009 at 2:20 am on July 1, 2009

do you have a substance abuse problem or something.....benzo addiction is really bad...

Sorta. Its isolated to the benzos now. My doctor hands them out to me like they are candy. He feeds the addiction. In fact, he has three malpractice lawsuits that he has settled out of, related to his mistreatment of benzos. He is about the only doctor in town that will prescribe them with any regularity, and thats about all he will prescribe. Only doctor our insurance will cover.

Anyways, yeah, when I have problems, I will admit, I abuse them. Just like right now. When I dont have extra stress, its just one a day.

What makes me angry, even after I ODd on them last year, he still prescribes them. I have asked not to, but the withdraw is terrible. I tried to go a week without them after that OD incident, and I couldnt. I was hyper sensitive to light and sound, and super depressed.

I dont know. Im coming down from the "high" (or rather low) that they create, so I can talk about it openly. That is one thing I like about them. They literally rob me of my personality. I am simply a zombie for a few hours, and that is a good thing sometimes.

august 24 2009 Posted at 11:20 pm on June 30, 2009
do you have a substance abuse problem or something.....benzo addiction is really bad...
drifting Posted at 9:47 pm on June 30, 2009
Quote: from The Raven at 12:33 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from drifting at 12:31 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from The Raven at 12:29 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from drifting at 12:25 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from The Raven at 12:21 am on July 1, 2009

whatchya got?
   

  So many Ativan today that I have lost count...


  aah. i've never taken those. i've only ever been given valium and xanax. and zolpidem, which reacts on the same part of the brain, but it's not technically a benzo.


 

 I have zolpidem as well. I typically turn to my benzos though


lucky. i'm not allowed to have it anymore because of what it does to me. complete blackouts with amnesia. horrible stuff. i always hate hearing about people running around tripping on ambien because i know what it does to you, definitely not something to be messed with.


Yeah, I have a pharmacy worth of "Short term" use drugs my doctor gives me. And Im very addicted to benzos, and he feeds into that. Ive ODd on them twice, yet for some reason, he will still give me 15 a week, and will always give more if I ask.

Ugh, self destructive behaviors... I tend to abuse them when Im in moods like this.

clavicle Posted at 9:47 pm on June 30, 2009
Quote: from Narfled the Garthok at 12:41 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from The Raven at 9:33 pm on June 30, 2009

Quote: from drifting at 12:31 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from The Raven at 12:29 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from drifting at 12:25 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from The Raven at 12:21 am on July 1, 2009

whatchya got?

   So many Ativan today that I have lost count...


   

  aah. i've never taken those. i've only ever been given valium and xanax. and zolpidem, which reacts on the same part of the brain, but it's not technically a benzo.


  I have zolpidem as well. I typically turn to my benzos though


 

 lucky. i'm not allowed to have it anymore because of what it does to me. complete blackouts with amnesia. horrible stuff. i always hate hearing about people running around tripping on ambien because i know what it does to you, definitely not something to be messed with.


Lol cause you took like 9.

just taking one causes the same effect on me. i dont need to take a bunch.

Narfled the Garthok Posted at 9:41 pm on June 30, 2009
Quote: from The Raven at 9:33 pm on June 30, 2009

Quote: from drifting at 12:31 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from The Raven at 12:29 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from drifting at 12:25 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from The Raven at 12:21 am on July 1, 2009

whatchya got?
   

  So many Ativan today that I have lost count...


  aah. i've never taken those. i've only ever been given valium and xanax. and zolpidem, which reacts on the same part of the brain, but it's not technically a benzo.


 

 I have zolpidem as well. I typically turn to my benzos though


lucky. i'm not allowed to have it anymore because of what it does to me. complete blackouts with amnesia. horrible stuff. i always hate hearing about people running around tripping on ambien because i know what it does to you, definitely not something to be messed with.


Lol cause you took like 9.
clavicle Posted at 9:33 pm on June 30, 2009
Quote: from drifting at 12:31 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from The Raven at 12:29 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from drifting at 12:25 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from The Raven at 12:21 am on July 1, 2009

whatchya got?

  So many Ativan today that I have lost count...


 

 aah. i've never taken those. i've only ever been given valium and xanax. and zolpidem, which reacts on the same part of the brain, but it's not technically a benzo.


I have zolpidem as well. I typically turn to my benzos though


lucky. i'm not allowed to have it anymore because of what it does to me. complete blackouts with amnesia. horrible stuff. i always hate hearing about people running around tripping on ambien because i know what it does to you, definitely not something to be messed with.

drifting Posted at 9:31 pm on June 30, 2009
Quote: from The Raven at 12:29 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from drifting at 12:25 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from The Raven at 12:21 am on July 1, 2009

whatchya got?
 

 So many Ativan today that I have lost count...


aah. i've never taken those. i've only ever been given valium and xanax. and zolpidem, which reacts on the same part of the brain, but it's not technically a benzo.


I have zolpidem as well. I typically turn to my benzos though

clavicle Posted at 9:29 pm on June 30, 2009
Quote: from drifting at 12:25 am on July 1, 2009

Quote: from The Raven at 12:21 am on July 1, 2009

whatchya got?

So many Ativan today that I have lost count...


aah. i've never taken those. i've only ever been given valium and xanax. and zolpidem, which reacts on the same part of the brain, but it's not technically a benzo.

drifting Posted at 9:25 pm on June 30, 2009
Quote: from The Raven at 12:21 am on July 1, 2009

whatchya got?

So many Ativan today that I have lost count...

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