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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Dreams & Sleep / Adding Reply

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Topic i've started writing again...what do you think?
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Original Post
ezacxveronica22 Posted at 6:19 am on Aug. 4, 2008
Underneath
underneath that smile
lies a broken heart,
that is tired...so tired
of being ripped apart

Underneath the laughter,
lies hurt and pain,
the kind that time
cannot heal or tame.

Underneath the strenght you see
lies fear embedded in
the kinda you grasp tightly
and find hard to set free.

Underneath that grown body,
there is a small child still struggling to be a man
not sure of where to go
or who to be.

underneath the harshness,
lies a warm loving heart,
wanting so much to be loved
and not left behind.

ii want you to be you
let it out
let it show
for the whole world to see
release your your fears your broken dreams
bottled anxieties,
and all of your hidden tear.

(zac)


so tell me what you thing hate it or love it or even relate to it.......

Replies
its only me again Posted at 6:42 am on Aug. 4, 2008
very good
SUPER SEXY CHICK Posted at 6:25 am on Aug. 4, 2008
i like it
Dragonfang93 Posted at 6:24 am on Aug. 4, 2008
That was beautiful.
dragonking Posted at 6:22 am on Aug. 4, 2008
It's pretty good.  It's spelled strength.  One part seemed to not sound correct so you should reword it.

Underneath the strenght you see
lies fear embedded in
the kinda you grasp tightly
and find hard to set free.

motorhead113 Posted at 6:22 am on Aug. 4, 2008
I like it. 'Tis deep, and reminds me of a friend.
SavannahNoel Posted at 6:21 am on Aug. 4, 2008
I like it :)
Distance is Darkness Posted at 6:21 am on Aug. 4, 2008
LOVE eeeet
Eos Posted at 6:21 am on Aug. 4, 2008
Deep man.
Deep.
*nods*
All 8 previous replies displayed.