I haven't come to terms with it. I haven't begun to accept it, yet. I doubt that I ever will. I don't know how to tell them. I don't know how to tell Nick. If by some miracle, there is a god, he's a sick bastard. Why would he make everything better just to take it all away? Why would he give me these people, just so I can tell them that I'm just going to leave. Why would he have the doctors tell me I've got a year, and then cut that in half?
How am I supposed to tell them, when I can barely tell myself?
I don't understand. 'my work here is done'? No. I haven't done anything yet. Don't put me in the ground, don't bury me and everything related to me.
I don't want to be a blemish on the face of his life. That one time when he was with that girl, and then she died. I'm just ruining these people. I'm just tainting them.
I can't hold my children. I can't graduate highschool. I can't get my driver's license.
this isn't fair.
i'm only thirteen.