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Topic Eye contact.
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Original Post
Ad libitum Posted at 11:57 am on May 9, 2008
Sometimes I find it difficult to look people in the eye. It's ok if I'm passing and someone says: 'hello' or even when I'm sitting next to someone in class and I don't have to speak to them for the whole lesson, I just have to say: 'hi,how are you?'. Yet when I have to engage in a conversation lasting 5 minutes or more I just completely freeze. I find it really hard to look at the other person, and then my body language goes all weird and I look uncomfortable. The same thing happens with group discussions, and also group presentations.

Is this a normal reaction? I don't know why I get insecure like that, because compared to before, I like myself a lot better now.

Replies
The Samsoniteman Posted at 4:39 pm on May 15, 2008
A lot of people have difficulty looking in someone's eyes and talking to them at the same time. It doesn't neccessarily have anything to do with confidance. People with autism generally don't like talking and looking at someone's eyes at the same time because it overloads their sensory perception. They want to concentrate on what they're saying and, because they naturally take in huge amounts of other sights, sounds, smells etc. looking into a face you can't read is one sense too many.

I'm not saying you're autistic, you certainly don't sound it. But everyone processes information differently. It might be simply shyness, if might be sensory overload. One way to tackle it might be to confront it. Tell yourself you'll look into the eyes of some people you feel comfortable with, then move up from there. Or look at something else, like the top of their ear or their forehead.

Miss Prophetess Posted at 7:08 pm on May 10, 2008
I think that only people with a good confidence level can have an easy time looking others in the eyes.
HellHound Posted at 5:36 pm on May 10, 2008
I always stare people in the eye regardless of who they are or how many of them. It gives me a sense of control over them, which I love. Not everyone has to look at you in the eyes, I find many people don't like to do so.
FruitFrenzy Posted at 5:16 pm on May 10, 2008
i'm the same. i just hate looking people in the eyes, makes me uncomfortable
Arguia Posted at 10:25 am on May 10, 2008
I have a problem with eye contact too. I never used to be able to even look at someone's face when I was talking to them. However in the last year or so I have got a lot better. I still don't like eye contact much though.
inflamed muse Posted at 5:09 pm on May 9, 2008
Heh, I feel the same a lot of the time. Although with a few people it's easier. When someone just keeps constant eye contact with you, you sort of feel like you have to as well, like this one teacher I talk to. It sometimes gets awkward, but at the same time, good since what I draw from it is that she really cares.

...I think I just rambled incessantly. D=

Mazy Posted at 12:38 pm on May 9, 2008
same but it's only when I think about it really.
Aliboo Posted at 12:22 pm on May 9, 2008
I've noticed I never or very rarely look into peoples eyes when talking to them. Its just not something I focus on. I dont know what it is..
tearsinheaven Posted at 12:21 pm on May 9, 2008
i have a hard time looking people in the eye too, i think most people do. and honestly, if you look someone in the eye the entire conversation, you'll come off as creepy. what you can do, instead of looking dead in the eye, look at their eye brow level, they'll never be able to tell the difference.
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