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Topic Baked Beans
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Original Post
santana 08 Posted at 11:20 am on Dec. 4, 2008
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.  When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
> >
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work.  Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.
> >
On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was  more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill
effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
> >
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:

'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'

He then blind folded  me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang.  He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.
> >
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

It was  not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.  I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
> >
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable.  When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom,  I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on  my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased  with myself.
> >
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long..  He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and assured him I had not.
> >
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests  seated around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'

Replies
robdude Posted at 4:56 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
childish
Teenie1 Posted at 11:25 am on Dec. 4, 2008
LOLLLL!!!!!
LipsOfDeceit Posted at 11:25 am on Dec. 4, 2008
that made me chuckle.
deaths door14 Posted at 11:24 am on Dec. 4, 2008
lol ew.
pyschedelic cookie Posted at 11:24 am on Dec. 4, 2008
lol that is hilarious!!!
ps2grl37 Posted at 11:23 am on Dec. 4, 2008
oh wow
Autumnal Posted at 11:22 am on Dec. 4, 2008
Lol. I've heard this one before  
frogdude Posted at 11:21 am on Dec. 4, 2008
beans!
All 8 previous replies displayed.