Whatever.
Until matter work themselves out, please rethink hurting yourself. Coming from someone who has been there, and nearly died from such, I will tell you first hand that hurting yourself gets you absolutely no where. I, obviously, failed (and I took over 250 prescription pills), but landed myself in the hospital getting my stomach pumped. Afterwards, they kept me there. Not only did I feel absolutely disgusting at the fact that I tried to kill myself and failed, but the fact that I hurt my loved ones. I don't mean only my parents (although the look in my mothers' eyes brought me to tears), but my friends. The ones who have been there for me my entire life and I just let them down.
I still, to this day, am extremely embarrassed when I think of my past. It's not how I want to be remembered, yet I can never erase it.
I want to be remembered as the girl who singly handedly coached/trained a soccer team of girls her own age, and brought them to the championships.
I want to be remembered as the girl who placed 1st in the regional Art Show.
I want to be remembered as the girl who worked her damn ass off in H.S., just to get to college.
But I won't be. I'll always be remembered as the girl who tried to kill herself. and I would do anything, ANYTHING, to change that.
Always enjoyable.