I have this infection that I've had for almost 2 whole weeks now, and yes, I've told my mom about it.  Now, at first she did try to help, and gave me some over-the-counter medication, but it didn't help.

Well, I know I already had an appointment planned for this break, so I figured I'd just wait until then to talk to a health professional about it.  So, I asked my mom when it was and she told me, but her answer was followed by this question, "Why did you want to know?"
So I answered her, "Because I still have that issue and I was just wondering."
She replies (a little prudishly), "It's because you're having sex."

Now wait, back up.  FIRST, sex is not the only thing that causes these kinds of infections.  SECOND, even if it was sex, it doesn't change the fact that I have the infection now, and stopping having sex isn't just going to make the infection go away.

Really, she's upset at me because I stayed with my boyfriend last night for New Year's instead of coming home and sleeping in my own bed.

She's just so ridiculous about this stuff.  I mean, if it was my sister that had this problem, my mom wouldn't have said to her, "Well it's your own fault because you're having sex with your husband."  No, she would have said, "You shouldn't have waited so long."

Gosh, I'm fucking 18 years old.  Sex before marriage is the only thing that I've done that didn't go according to my parents plan.  I graduated high school honors, and am the first of their kids to attend college, but none of that matters.  Honestly, she is the person that makes me want to be independent.  I just want to be capable already of paying all of my own bills, and being able to drive myself around, that way she can't hold anything against me.

I swear, sometimes my mom....

/rant