i don't know where it started exactly, maybe in elementary with always being the fat kid. then, i fell in love with modeling, acting, and fashion. i wanted to be pretty like the girls in magazines, to look perfect. that kind of ate away at me, until i started going on the internet for weight loss stuff. i saw pro-ana websites, and fell religiously to it. i lost weight from it, and i loved it. but i got a boyfriend and i felt no need to be afraid, being around him and that made me want to do whatever for him to smile. i wanted to make sure he was happy, even if i rushed to the bathroom to throw it up. then it went into bulimia i suppose. and my old mentality from anorexia butted in, and even if i had one cracker i'd throw up several time. i want to get better, but my friend who also has an eating disorder told me how badly she hated the recovery center. she said they treat you like an illness and not a person. can i get over my fear of food on my own? i don't really want to talk to my parents about it.. especially if my mom would work at the recovery center i'd go to. i don't know what to do anymore, i'm scared.
Go and talk to someone. It'll help. It'll be very very very hard to deal with this on your own and I really think you should talk to your mom, or a doctor. It'll help you, I promise
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