Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic my girlfriend and anorexia Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from Anonymous at 10:25 pm on Jan. 10, 2009[quote]Quote: from [m]LtrOusRtD[/m] at 10:20 pm on Jan. 10, 2009[quote]Unless you can ignore it's never gonna go away, my friend has alot of the same problem as your girlfriend except she doesn't wear loose clothing, and there is nothing wrong with the clothing she has it's then her wearing stuff that is too tight... trying to stay on topic.. She needs to change, and unless you can ignore it's not gonna help or anything[/quote] Well she doesn't wear loose clothing, but when she does that's how it is.[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post Anonymous Posted at 10:16 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 Okay my girlfriend suffered from anorexia when she was really young (from 11 until 14, she's 17 now), she's fine now, but that EXTREMELY negative self image. She eats normally(probably more than she should, due to her parents making sure she's not sick again), is a healthy weight (albeit still thin, she just has a nice ass and tits, and doesn't look emaciated). I really love her, and it kills me to see her look in the mirror in complete horror. It's so sad. She's popular, has lots of friends, is extremely extremely beautiful, and she has me (and I'm not so bad). She hears all good things about herself, all the time, yet she just shoves them off as if it's nothing. It's not like she's all "I'm so fat" but whenever I see her look in the mirror she just looks terrified, but she'll look away and be happy again. She things clothes that don't fit (like too big) fit her, she's always touching her stomach during sex, like kind of covering it, she pinches at her 'fat' subconsciously, and it really truly breaks my heart. I've been with this girl for nearly three years (through her looking emaciated, to absolutely stunning. Though, I've known her since kindergarten, by the way). I definitely don't want to break up with her, never ever could I break up with her for no reason, she or I would have to do something TERRIBLE, but I just can't see those things. I just don't understand why she doesn't see the beautiful girl everybody else sees. I tell her how beautiful I think she is all the time, and she smiles, but I know she doesn't believe it. I don't know...I just want to know what I can do to try and ignore those things because as corny and pussyish as it sounds, it really hurts my feelings lol...

Replies shadowcry Posted at 12:32 am on Jan. 11, 2009 Im sure from seeing your girlfriend go through the stages of anorexia you can see how serious a disorder it really is. It effects people in different ways and some people recover much more quickly than others. Often even when eating is returned to normal, the overriding fear of fatness still remains, even years after 'recovery'. What you have described are classic signs of anorexia still living in her subconscious  mind and no matter how much you tell her she is beautiful- at the moment she will not believe it. Anorexia can be like wearing a pair of glasses which distort your appearance of yourself- where you see yourself as fat when really you are thin. If your girlfriends recovery is quite recent, then the emotional drain is severe when putting on weight for an anorexic. She will more than likely think that when she was emaciated, she was a healthy weight and having to put on weight feels as though she is becoming fat. Well, that is my personal experience and i know that a lot of my friends who have had anorexia have felt the same way. What you need to do is keep reinforcing to her that she is beautiful and you think that she looks much more beautiful now than she did when she was extremely thin. A positive thing out of all this is that she obviously trusts you and is not afraid to show you her body as many people suffering find it impossible to reveal their body to huge feelings of self confidence. I hope this helps you, talk to her when she's down and make her feel like the beautiful girl i am sure she is. Not every guy cares about their girlfriend quite as much as you seem to, so this is definitely very positive and i am sure she feels that. Just remember that she is not acting as she does because she wants to, it is just out of habit and fear really. So don't let it hurt your feelings as it is not directed at you and as i have said, she obviously cares a lot about you and actually when you tell her she is beautiful, every time you say it, it makes her more self confident even if she doesn't show it. Bearsy Posted at 10:29 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 Quote: from lally at 10:25 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 Well, that was anorexia does, besides starving herself. It's a mental disorder thats difficult to overcome, but not impossible. She just needs to boost her confidence, if she can't, just tell her, "fake it til she makes it". if you fake confidence, you most likely will FEEL confident. I disagree with this. I can tell when people are faking confidence and they usually come off as huge annoying pricks. dreblex Posted at 10:26 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 what a typical girl Anonymous Posted at 10:25 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 Quote: from LtrOusRtD at 10:20 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 Unless you can ignore it's never gonna go away, my friend has alot of the same problem as your girlfriend except she doesn't wear loose clothing, and there is nothing wrong with the clothing she has it's then her wearing stuff that is too tight... trying to stay on topic.. She needs to change, and unless you can ignore it's not gonna help or anything Well she doesn't wear loose clothing, but when she does that's how it is. Lally Posted at 10:25 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 Well, that was anorexia does, besides starving herself. It's a mental disorder thats difficult to overcome, but not impossible. She just needs to boost her confidence, if she can't, just tell her, "fake it til she makes it". if you fake confidence, you most likely will FEEL confident. Anonymous Posted at 10:23 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 Quote: from deadsilence at 10:17 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 too long Shut the fuck up then and don't post you stupid inbred fuck. thebOsssx3 Posted at 10:23 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 She has a psychological problem. Even though it hurts you, you really can't help her. No matter how many times you tell her she's beautiful, she'll always feel the same way about herself. You only have two options. Accept her problem, or move on. Bearsy Posted at 10:23 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 You're not helping by telling her she's beautiful all the time. That just reassures her that her looks are the most important thing and that she'd lose you if she became less attractive. Even if it's true (which it probably is, can't really blame you since you're a young guy) telling her how beautiful she is all the time reminds her of that and makes her think it's all that matters to you. AcidSilence Posted at 10:20 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 Its a hard position. Maybe you could get to her without her really knowing.. say, "from now on, when somebody gives you a compliment, just say "thanks", for me, okay?" she will start to believe it in the back of her mind. it may take a long time. But yeah... It will help a little bit. Cunning Stunt Posted at 10:20 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 Quote: from Miss Vanity at 1:19 am on Jan. 11, 2009 You can't really do anything but try to convince her That never works. LtrOusRtD Posted at 10:20 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 Unless you can ignore it's never gonna go away, my friend has alot of the same problem as your girlfriend except she doesn't wear loose clothing, and there is nothing wrong with the clothing she has it's then her wearing stuff that is too tight... trying to stay on topic.. She needs to change, and unless you can ignore it's not gonna help or anything Cunning Stunt Posted at 10:20 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 My gf is the same way. When we're going to sleep I can see the covers moving around because she's pulling at the fat on her. She's super super pretty, I have a pic of her in my IB. Nobody has ever told her she's not good looking or fat or w/e she's just always feeling like she's gaining weight or shit like that. I asked her who she's trying to impress and she has no answer. It's really hard sitting around not being able to do a thing about it. LudovicoTechnique Posted at 10:19 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 Be happy that has recovered from her disorder. It sounds like she is making progress and taking steps in the right direction. marilyns baby Posted at 10:19 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 Next time she does that grab her hand and tell her you think she's beautiful the way she is and look into her eyes when you say it and jsut hold her hand. And if you can say i love you Miss Vanity Posted at 10:19 pm on Jan. 10, 2009 You can't really do anything but try to convince her Most recent 15 of 18 previous replies displayed.