But I don't really drink
So I'll do it with candy
And if you ask my guidance counsellor
She'll say that it's dandy

Yeah I know what I'm doing
And I just keep it real
And if you don't like my ways
You gotta learn to deal.

You can learn shit from me
From guitar to grammar
There ain't no MC like me
Since the great MC Hammer

I'm full of myself
But average most of the time
But if you point that shit out
I'll bury you in rhyme.

I drive a 30 year old Toyota
I can't drive without mother
But when I cruise through the east side
I nod to my brothas

I'm white as fuck
This ain't my real hair colour
But if you don't tell anyone
I'll give you a dollar

So this is my rap
And if you be hatin'
Get your fucking blades out
And I'll take you ice skatin'.