Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic Pro-choicers only. Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]OMGalice[/m] at 2:36 pm on July 19, 2008[quote]well the first thing she needs to do is leave the guy all he is doing is causing problems and it sounds to me he really dosnt care for her at all. After she leaves him she just needs to get over it she had an abortion and it was probably a very good decision. now she can move on with her life. whats done is done[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post lovexstoriee Posted at 6:05 am on July 18, 2008 My friend had an abortion recently. A lot of people don't understand her, i try to but i know it must feel horrible to be in the amount of pressure she's in. She was pregnant for a month and 2 weeks and her boyfriend used that against her. He would tell her that if she left him or did something he didn't like he would tell her mom. She started taking 5-9 pills a day, which scared me so much. She would work extra shifts to be able to pay for the abortion but even after that her boyfriend would use that against her. She got so fed up with it she told her mom and it broke her heart. Last night she got into a fight with her boyfriend and she called me this morning at 5 crying and telling me she hasn't slept all night. I want to help her but i've run out of things to say... i feel so bad and i don't want her to go do something crazy.   advice? Pro-lifers go away.

Replies OMGalice Posted at 2:36 pm on July 19, 2008 well the first thing she needs to do is leave the guy all he is doing is causing problems and it sounds to me he really dosnt care for her at all. After she leaves him she just needs to get over it she had an abortion and it was probably a very good decision. now she can move on with her life. whats done is done iimjustbadnews Posted at 7:01 am on July 18, 2008 Try to get her mind off of things, take her out, go see a movie or get a bite or eat. Just be there for her. She somehow needs to get the guy out of her life, it isn't just her fault she got pregnant, it was his as well. And it is her position to chose whether she would like the child or not, being younger i would think she made a good choice by not having it. Takinam Posted at 6:44 am on July 18, 2008 Quote: from keiraoasis at 6:40 am on July 18, 2008 Its hard to know what exactly you are asking for, but i will try to help regardless. Abortion is an option for al lot of people. In my opinion 3 things rectify having an abortion. 1. If a person can not financally manage having a child then they shoulld probably not be having a baby. (harsh but being a kid who grew up in a financially starved family its not easy) 2. Maturity levels. Girls at thirteen should avoid having sex!!!!!! My friend gave birth at 13 and she resents the child for taking away her life (social life)   3. Domestic violence. Be it physically OR emotionally. Why would you raise a child in a hurtful unloving atmosphere? HOW could you inflict that on a child. What sort of chilodhood would that be? And how could a mother let their flesh and blood grow up where love was her and potentially the child being trapped by her bf?   As a pregnant woman, and as a woman point blank, as a fellow human being!! She should be treated with dignity and respect. Her bf. was using her pregnancy against her.   Tell me thats right? Tell me that being treated like a bitch is fun? Tell me that with your hormones up in the air and your bf (who is supposed to love and comforrt you) blackmiling you trying to UNWILLINGLY shackle you down to a life your not sure want that you will not be in ABSOLUTE hysterics? You would be were you in a postition like hers (pray to god you never have to). In my opinion she done the right thing. (horrible thought it ay sound). Think brriefly for a moment. If her bf could blackmail her when she was pregnant, use the pregnancy to trap her, once he'd trapped her, could it lead to physical abuse? Noot just to your friend but her child. What kind of so-called-MAN does that? What kind of so-called-MAN uses his child for leverage against his PREGNANT girlfriend? Yes, she should have had the good sense to tell her mother as soon as she knew she was pregnant but she'll just have to live and learn. What i believe she is experienceing now is the aftermath of her decision. It happens to a lot of women. They REGRET their decision and that is the BIG thing i would warn about when a woman comes to me looking for advice on having an abortion. My friend went through the same motions even at 5am. All you can do is be there and listen to her. Her woes, her hopes and advize her as you see fit. This WILL pass, she WILL survive. She MUST remember she done this for a reason. That reason is who she is sstill with. Surprisingly but it is her life. However it is notup to you to bare this burden alone, she also has her mom to talk to. Surely she is concerned of her daughterss welfare?   She MUST remember two things.   1.Whats done is done. That is the decision that suited her at the time and that is the one she must now live with. 2.The girl has her WHOLE life ahead of her. She will have other children if she so desires them. Have all the more chances in the world to show love and concern to those around her.   Tell her its o.k. to mourn. Its nothing if natural. However at a time she must move on and know that her decision must not go down in vain. Their are a million million other women in her exact postition, she is not alone. She is NEVER alone. Give your friend my best.   Take care (of your friend AND y It really doesn't warrant such a long post. I'm a pretty compassionate person and I'm sitting her not caring. She can do that too. Or she can wallow in her own misery for the next few years. KeiraOasis Posted at 6:40 am on July 18, 2008 Its hard to know what exactly you are asking for, but i will try to help regardless. Abortion is an option for al lot of people. In my opinion 3 things rectify having an abortion. 1. If a person can not financally manage having a child then they shoulld probably not be having a baby. (harsh but being a kid who grew up in a financially starved family its not easy) 2. Maturity levels. Girls at thirteen should avoid having sex!!!!!! My friend gave birth at 13 and she resents the child for taking away her life (social life) 3. Domestic violence. Be it physically OR emotionally. Why would you raise a child in a hurtful unloving atmosphere? HOW could you inflict that on a child. What sort of chilodhood would that be? And how could a mother let their flesh and blood grow up where love was her and potentially the child being trapped by her bf? As a pregnant woman, and as a woman point blank, as a fellow human being!! She should be treated with dignity and respect. Her bf. was using her pregnancy against her. Tell me thats right? Tell me that being treated like a bitch is fun? Tell me that with your hormones up in the air and your bf (who is supposed to love and comforrt you) blackmiling you trying to UNWILLINGLY shackle you down to a life your not sure want that you will not be in ABSOLUTE hysterics? You would be were you in a postition like hers (pray to god you never have to). In my opinion she done the right thing. (horrible thought it ay sound). Think brriefly for a moment. If her bf could blackmail her when she was pregnant, use the pregnancy to trap her, once he'd trapped her, could it lead to physical abuse? Noot just to your friend but her child. What kind of so-called-MAN does that? What kind of so-called-MAN uses his child for leverage against his PREGNANT girlfriend? Yes, she should have had the good sense to tell her mother as soon as she knew she was pregnant but she'll just have to live and learn. What i believe she is experienceing now is the aftermath of her decision. It happens to a lot of women. They REGRET their decision and that is the BIG thing i would warn about when a woman comes to me looking for advice on having an abortion. My friend went through the same motions even at 5am. All you can do is be there and listen to her. Her woes, her hopes and advize her as you see fit. This WILL pass, she WILL survive. She MUST remember she done this for a reason. That reason is who she is sstill with. Surprisingly but it is her life. However it is notup to you to bare this burden alone, she also has her mom to talk to. Surely she is concerned of her daughterss welfare? She MUST remember two things. 1.Whats done is done. That is the decision that suited her at the time and that is the one she must now live with. 2.The girl has her WHOLE life ahead of her. She will have other children if she so desires them. Have all the more chances in the world to show love and concern to those around her. Tell her its o.k. to mourn. Its nothing if natural. However at a time she must move on and know that her decision must not go down in vain. Their are a million million other women in her exact postition, she is not alone. She is NEVER alone. Give your friend my best. Take care (of your friend AND y swtpie Posted at 6:34 am on July 18, 2008 The second a boyfriend starts actiing that way, it's history. Instead of her worrying about it, she should of just told her mom. That way she is being mature about it. Please tell me she left him! St Jimmy Posted at 6:21 am on July 18, 2008 Abortins cost you in the USA?? Gosh, yeah I'm Pro Life so I think its wrong anyway.... Its a difficult thing though, its obvious what needs to be done, leave the dude and if she was silly enough to get pregnant she should look after that kid rather than spending to get it killed, a bit like hired assasination really... Takinam Posted at 6:18 am on July 18, 2008 Quote: from lovexstoriee at 6:10 am on July 18, 2008 Quote: from Takinam at 6:07 am on July 18, 2008 1. Leave the boyfriend.     2. Be happy with oneself. You've done what you've done. You've made your decision.     Anymore questions?   i don't see how she can be happy with herself, people are constantly telling her how horrible she is for "killing her baby". I'm like the only person who doesn't give her shit about the whole abortion. I don't see why she can't be happy with herself. Its her reaction, her emotion. She shouldn't let other people dictate her life. She made a decision and thats fucking it.   Fucking pick yourself up and get away from the negativity those idiots perspire. Find people that won't judge your or find people that don't know enough about you to care. You live one life.  And she doesn't need that fucking shit ruining it. I'm sure she was happy before the abortion and she'll be happy after it. Its not important. Blonde4sure Posted at 6:15 am on July 18, 2008 leave the jackass for sure. and move on, she'll always wonder about that baby, and she may not be happy for awhile, but as a friend just try to always show her she can be happy again. Go see movies, go shopping, and things like that. Its not going to be the same for awhile. AndWhenHeFalleth Posted at 6:13 am on July 18, 2008 Quote: from lovexstoriee at 9:10 am on July 18, 2008 Quote: from Takinam at 6:07 am on July 18, 2008 1. Leave the boyfriend.    2. Be happy with oneself. You've done what you've done. You've made your decision.    Anymore questions? i don't see how she can be happy with herself with people constantly telling her how horrible she is for "killing her baby". I'm like the only person who doesn't give her shit about the whole abortion. She'll get used to it.  She needs to get rid of him, though.  With everything combined, it's too much. Smartbutsexy Posted at 6:10 am on July 18, 2008 she has to go on with her life and not let this ruin her life SlimJimGurl Posted at 6:10 am on July 18, 2008 I'm all pro-life but what's done is done. Honestly, she should just leave him. She's obviously dealing with a lot of emotions and he's just making it so much worse. It'll only get better if he's gone. She doesn't need him being a bitch her to right now. lovexstoriee Posted at 6:10 am on July 18, 2008 Quote: from Takinam at 6:07 am on July 18, 2008 1. Leave the boyfriend.   2. Be happy with oneself. You've done what you've done. You've made your decision.   Anymore questions? i don't see how she can be happy with herself, people are constantly telling her how horrible she is for "killing her baby". I'm like the only person who doesn't give her shit about the whole abortion. AndWhenHeFalleth Posted at 6:08 am on July 18, 2008 She isn't going to be happy until she leaves the jackass. Kitty Kiska Posted at 6:08 am on July 18, 2008 mm well she should get rid of the baby and get rid of the boyfriend...i mean if he treats her this way then why bother screwing up your life with him!!! Smartbutsexy Posted at 6:07 am on July 18, 2008 sry but no advice . thats sad, Most recent 15 of 16 previous replies displayed.