Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic unwanted baby Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]dreblex[/m] at 8:04 am on Aug. 28, 2008[quote]so you've only been married for a month and it turns out you're pregnant. and you're not ready for a baby yet. do you keep it or get an abortion?[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post dreblex Posted at 8:04 am on Aug. 28, 2008 so you've only been married for a month and it turns out you're pregnant. and you're not ready for a baby yet. do you keep it or get an abortion?

Replies carbonara Posted at 1:07 am on Aug. 29, 2008 Quote: from scalywag66 at 9:51 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from carbonara at 9:49 am on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from scalywag66 at 4:09 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Aborting the baby because you aren't 'ready' for it is beyond selffish.  Live up to the mistake and learn how to be ready.      Is it not more selfish to have a baby you do not want? You don't want it, but you still have it  ....... right there you're doing the baby a favor by letting it continue to grow, doesn't sound selfish to me No i still believe that having a child for the sake of having it and not because you want it is the most selfish thing of all. It's not fair growing up knowing that you were unwanted and that you were a mistake, i wouldn't want to put that on a child. So if i didn't want a baby, then i wouldn't have one because i'm not that selfish. I would only have a child if i could provide it with the best upbringing possible. ixi Posted at 9:32 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 I'm not at ALL ready for a baby, I'll fully admit to being way too irresponsible right now.  I'm assuming that by the time I get married, though, I'll have calmed down, and even if I wasn't 100% ready, abortions aren't for me.  I would make the best of things and keep it. JennyColada Posted at 4:33 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Sometimes it can take more than 9 months to get ready. It also seems kind of hard to get ready to have a child mentally when you are physically trying to prepare. That's a lot to handle in just nine months. :S lovednhated07 Posted at 4:27 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 I'd keep the baby, I mean seriously you are already married and if your not ready then you have 9 months to get ready. miimii Posted at 3:56 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from scalywag66 at 8:09 am on Aug. 28, 2008 Aborting the baby because you aren't 'ready' for it is beyond selffish.  Live up to the mistake and learn how to be ready.   That depends on what she means by "not ready". If she doesn't have any money then it would be really stupid to keep it. dreblex Posted at 3:50 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 GUYZ STFU LYK OMGZZZZZZZ :(((((((((( JennyColada Posted at 3:48 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from scalywag66 at 1:51 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 You don't want it, but you still have it  ....... right there you're doing the baby a favor by letting it continue to grow, doesn't sound selfish to me When people don't want a child but continue to have it and raise it, they do not have the interest of the child in mind, but in them not "feeling bad" about having an abortion. Is it not selfish to have a child knowing fully-well that you are not ready or able to prepare for it as you feel you should, but to do so anyway because YOU (well, THEM, heh) don't want to "feel bad" or whatever reason they decide? If the choice is not done because "it would be best for this child" then, yes, it is selfish. What is best for any child is NOT to choose to bring it up in a suffering environment. Glow Worm Posted at 2:58 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from scalywag66 at 5:48 pm on Aug. 28, 2008  I know that already.  I said MOST. not ALL, but MOST who say they aren't ready say so because, may not be so much the partying, but whatever lifestyle they were used, schooling - going to the mall with the gang of girls -  guy hunting - working to make money or whatever that particular girl does all freely.  In my life, most of the girls that I've known and seen get pregnant end up mostly crying about partying here & there, and so that sticks out in my mind according to the girls I've met, while others have more down to earth reasons why they aren't ready.  Is all.  Yea they're probably more shallow than most others, but that's them. I have 2 shorties of my own, the first one my lady cried and whined about that idiotic shit of partying - no more clubbing for us etc., while I was the one trying to convince her everything would be alright, that we should go along with it, who cares about partying, I knew she'd feel better once the baby is actually out, and sure enough she all of a sudden wanted another one for the lil one to play with. w00t!!! What I suggest is reality.  Some girls reasons are for partying, some are schooling, some have careers in mind or whatever else there is. The fuck you trying to explain something to me I know full well? I just don't see how it's any of your business to decide what "ready" means to an individual. It's lovely that you and your "lady" were able to make it work. How very noble of you. But that doesn't mean you should judge a woman's reasons for getting an abortion. You think that a girl getting an abortion because she doesn't want to give up drinking and drugs is so bad? Shit, at least she didn't try to maintain the pregnancy while abusing substances. At least she was smart enough to see her limits. Do you know how difficult it is to adopt out a baby who's addicted to cocaine? Most adoptive parents want perfect little angels, not some little FAS baby who will never be able to be what they consider a "regular" kid. It's just not up to you to make those sort of judgements. scalywag66 Posted at 2:48 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from Glow Worm at 2:17 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from scalywag66 at 4:51 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from carbonara at 9:49 am on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from scalywag66 at 4:09 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Aborting the baby because you aren't 'ready' for it is beyond selffish. Live up to the mistake and learn how to be ready.   Is it not more selfish to have a baby you do not want?     lol read what you just typed and think about it     You don't want it, but you still have it  ....... right there you're doing the baby a favor by letting it continue to grow, doesn't sound selfish to me     IMO, I think some girls are sincere when they say they can't handle a baby financially etc., but most of the time, this 'ready' that most girls say they are not usually means that they don't want to give up the party lifestyle just yet.  To abort an embryo just cause one isn't ready to calm down from partying for at least 9 months seems more selfish than actually giving it a chance.     But that's just me........         Wow, generalization. I don't drink or smoke or do drugs, and I've never actually been to a "party" (because I'm assuming birthday parties when you're seven do not count), but does that mean I'm ready for a pregnancy? No.     You're underestimating the huge responsibility you undertake when you decide to go through with a pregnancy. It's not just "oh shucks, I can't binge drink for nine months, poor me". Your body completely changes permanently. It's not as though you give birth and all of a sudden your feet aren't swollen and your breasts aren't bigger and your cervix just pops back to size. It's not like you squeeze out a human being and your hormones just drop back down to normal levels and you just shower and walk out of there just like you were before a pregnancy. You form an attachment to that baby that's incredibly hard to break. Giving a baby up for adoption is not like it was in Juno. You don't forget that you've got a child somewhere in the world.   Like, shit. It's really easy for you to say "Oh just stop partying for nine months, you selfish whore", but that's not it at all. You have no idea, you can never have any idea, what it's like to have a baby inside your body, to push a human being out of your vagina. The world just isn't like that. What you suggest just isn't reality. I know that already. I said MOST. not ALL, but MOST who say they aren't ready say so because, may not be so much the partying, but whatever lifestyle they were used, schooling - going to the mall with the gang of girls - guy hunting - working to make money or whatever that particular girl does all freely. In my life, most of the girls that I've known and seen get pregnant end up mostly crying about partying here & there, and so that sticks out in my mind according to the girls I've met, while others have more down to earth reasons why they aren't ready. Is all. Yea they're probably more shallow than most others, but that's them. I have 2 shorties of my own, the first one my lady cried and whined about that idiotic shit of partying - no more clubbing for us etc., while I was the one trying to convince her everything would be alright, that we should go along with it, who cares about partying, I knew she'd feel better once the baby is actually out, and sure enough she all of a sudden wanted another one for the lil one to play with.  w00t!!! What I suggest is reality. Some girls reasons are for partying, some are schooling, some have careers in mind or whatever else there is. The fuck you trying to explain something to me I know full well? Glow Worm Posted at 2:17 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from scalywag66 at 4:51 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from carbonara at 9:49 am on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from scalywag66 at 4:09 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Aborting the baby because you aren't 'ready' for it is beyond selffish. Live up to the mistake and learn how to be ready. Is it not more selfish to have a baby you do not want?   lol read what you just typed and think about it   You don't want it, but you still have it  ....... right there you're doing the baby a favor by letting it continue to grow, doesn't sound selfish to me   IMO, I think some girls are sincere when they say they can't handle a baby financially etc., but most of the time, this 'ready' that most girls say they are not usually means that they don't want to give up the party lifestyle just yet.  To abort an embryo just cause one isn't ready to calm down from partying for at least 9 months seems more selfish than actually giving it a chance.   But that's just me........   Wow, generalization. I don't drink or smoke or do drugs, and I've never actually been to a "party" (because I'm assuming birthday parties when you're seven do not count), but does that mean I'm ready for a pregnancy? No.   You're underestimating the huge responsibility you undertake when you decide to go through with a pregnancy. It's not just "oh shucks, I can't binge drink for nine months, poor me". Your body completely changes permanently. It's not as though you give birth and all of a sudden your feet aren't swollen and your breasts aren't bigger and your cervix just pops back to size. It's not like you squeeze out a human being and your hormones just drop back down to normal levels and you just shower and walk out of there just like you were before a pregnancy. You form an attachment to that baby that's incredibly hard to break. Giving a baby up for adoption is not like it was in Juno. You don't forget that you've got a child somewhere in the world. Like, shit. It's really easy for you to say "Oh just stop partying for nine months, you selfish whore", but that's not it at all. You have no idea, you can never have any idea, what it's like to have a baby inside your body, to push a human being out of your vagina. The world just isn't like that. What you suggest just isn't reality. scalywag66 Posted at 1:51 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from carbonara at 9:49 am on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from scalywag66 at 4:09 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Aborting the baby because you aren't 'ready' for it is beyond selffish. Live up to the mistake and learn how to be ready. Is it not more selfish to have a baby you do not want? lol read what you just typed and think about it You don't want it, but you still have it  ....... right there you're doing the baby a favor by letting it continue to grow, doesn't sound selfish to me IMO, I think some girls are sincere when they say they can't handle a baby financially etc., but most of the time, this 'ready' that most girls say they are not usually means that they don't want to give up the party lifestyle just yet.  To abort an embryo just cause one isn't ready to calm down from partying for at least 9 months seems more selfish than actually giving it a chance. But that's just me........ Glow Worm Posted at 11:47 am on Aug. 28, 2008 My God, it depends on a thousand other things.  How old am I? Do I already have a house, or a nice apartment, or somewhere that I wouldn't mind calling home for the next few years? How long have my husband and I been together? Have we already travelled, or did we plan on travelling after we got married? Do we have the money? Do I have a job? Does he? Am I emotionally ready for this? Is it unplanned but wanted, or unplanned and unwanted? I mean really, there are so many variables I can't just say for sure either way. I mean, the best way I can answer your question is that if I was completely unprepared, I would be willing to abort. That's really what you're asking, right? Is what we would be willing to do? I'd be willing to abort, depending on circumstances. But I would also be willing to think about keeping the baby and just struggling for a while. It depends on a lot of things, you know. carbonara Posted at 9:49 am on Aug. 28, 2008 Quote: from scalywag66 at 4:09 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Aborting the baby because you aren't 'ready' for it is beyond selffish.  Live up to the mistake and learn how to be ready.   Is it not more selfish to have a baby you do not want? JennyColada Posted at 9:42 am on Aug. 28, 2008 Abrtion. I never want to be one of "those girls". So many of my friends get married and give birth 1-9 months after getting married, and that's 100% not something I'm interested in. I want to live my life before I start helping someone else live theirs. Mattie17 Posted at 8:37 am on Aug. 28, 2008 keep the baby Most recent 15 of 32 previous replies displayed.