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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Teen Pregnancy & Parenting Support / Adding Reply

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Topic Another teen statistic.
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Original Post
Lady Catastrophic Posted at 11:47 pm on Nov. 17, 2008
I just found out I am pregnant yesterday. It is horrible, I just got on birth control this month... I guess I was one month too soon eh? Well anyways I am a little over 4 weeks along, I am scared, nervous, and I want to just go to sleep... and never wake up.  I just need some advice, from the respectable teen mothers on this site.  

Call me a whore and you will be reported, and anyways try not to be such an asshole right now, I already have the whole world crashing onto my shoulders.

I don't know how to tell my mom.
I want to abort it, but I don't think I could live with myself afterwards.

Help me, please.

Replies
lorenextdoor Posted at 2:03 pm on Dec. 19, 2008
please please don't abort the baby.  He is yours now, don't kill him.  Tell your mother that you had sex, and that you are planning to have a baby.  No time is a good time.  She needs to know AS SOON AS POSSIBLE though.  Good luck.  Be brave, find those who support you.  
Lady Catastrophic Posted at 8:04 pm on Dec. 18, 2008
Quote: from whips handcuffs at 8:33 pm on Dec. 18, 2008

abortion...  
financially, there's no way you could take care of it. kids cost about $250,000 now from birth to 18. delivery itself is around $40,000, atleast around here.  what if the kid was born with medical problems? how would you take care of it?

Don't reply ten years too fucking late.  

A child costs 10,000 a year. There are things like Food Stamps, and WIC that will help cut down the costs a bit. As of right now we bring in 2400 a month, and he is in college so we are working on the income. Delivery will not costs 40,000 actually, that DEPENDS ON YOUR INSURANCE. Know what you are talking about first please. Medical problems, as long as throughout my pregnancy I do what I have to do, and if for some reason even though I did everything right and the child does have medical problems I will deal with the problem as it comes.

However the chances of that are slim, especially sicne I have looked into our family's history, and I plan on leading a proper pregnancy.

My child will be fine.

whips handcuffs Posted at 7:33 pm on Dec. 18, 2008
abortion...
financially, there's no way you could take care of it. kids cost about $250,000 now from birth to 18. delivery itself is around $40,000, atleast around here.  what if the kid was born with medical problems? how would you take care of it?
iHaveAlargePenis Posted at 5:20 pm on Nov. 27, 2008
Whatever you do, do not abort it. At first it may seem not so bad, but after a couple of days you will start to realize that what you did was horrible.

I was reading that you're 16? That's not all that bad. Fuck, I've heard of 15 year old's getting pregnant, and they live with their parents or the dad left them.
The good thing is that you are living on you're own and you have a good job (Just ask me, I'm 17 and I live on my own as well. And I have been since I was you're age) and that you also have a boyfriend.

What does you're boyfriend have to say about this? Make sure he has a good say in this as well.

Do you talk to you're parents at all? Maybe you can ask her for some support in this.

I realize that I am not a teenage mother, but hopefully I have help out a little?

JennyColada Posted at 11:52 am on Nov. 25, 2008
Well, there is a lot to read and unfortunately I don't have much infromation at the moment about how much it costs to have a kid.

Really I just wanted to come in to say that I can totally relate to the feeling of the whole world crumbling on you. When I found out I was pregnant I just...emotionally collapsed. I cried for hours. I couldn't even talk, I didn't even know what to say. I was a mess.

It gets easier. Or it doesn't, but you'll learn to live with it.

I aborted, and you've mentioned you're not into that, and that's fine. Sometimes life throws us a curveball, but it's not exactly like you can just stop living (well you can, but your child would keep living so that doesn't really stop life from moving on), so time marches on.

You have a lot of plans for your future, and unfortunately most of those probably won't work out as you like (you plan on going straight to college from your GED, then to a better college? All while raising a newborn? I find that every unlikely that it will work out like you wish).

Anyhow, I hope that you find the information that you need, but if you ever want to talk about non-rational stuff (emotions or the like) then feel free to shoot me a PM.

MarcusMommy08 Posted at 1:16 pm on Nov. 24, 2008
im 18 i was 17 when i found out i was pregnant. my mom already knew that we thought i was. We told my dad by textin him and it said "Hi grandpa!! I cant wait to meet you. See you in 9 months :) love, baby *then we put the last name here* he loved it and it made breakin the news a little easier
gore Posted at 3:19 pm on Nov. 21, 2008
abort so there will be one less idiot in this world
jsgirl Posted at 10:17 pm on Nov. 19, 2008
Quote: from horseylover19 at 10:15 pm on Nov. 19, 2008

that doesn't even make sense...you told your mother you would keep it, but then you said you would abort it...which one is it?
Chill ma.

I told my mom at first thought that I would keep it. Having thought about it and talked with my friends I reconsidered, and at this time in my life, I would probably abort it.

The Good Guy Posted at 10:16 pm on Nov. 19, 2008
Wow, I sympathize, I read a bit of this topic.

And I think the following:
- You should keep the baby, your feelings matter, maybe you could give it up for adoption?
- You need more money to support yourself and your boyfriend, get a better paying job, or move in with another adult with your boyfriend to support you
- Hopefully, you learned something out of this, and keep positivity in your life. Life isn't over.

It's good that you really care about this baby. I trust that you'll be a mature mother.

horseylover19 Posted at 10:15 pm on Nov. 19, 2008
Quote: from jsgirl at 10:11 pm on Nov. 19, 2008

Hey babygirl! I'm sorry I just saw the pregnancy topic. Had I been online before I would have definitely noticed.

If you haven't told your mom yet, I would just like to share a story about myself. Basically when I was 16 I thought I was pregnant, and pretty much right away I told my mom. The crazy thing was, was that she understood, and didn't yell like I thought she would. In fact she was really supportive and helpful. She took me to a doctor for real testing, not only for pregnancy but for STD's and it turned out that I was not pregnant.

We did talk about my options if I was pregnant. She told me flat out that I would have an abortion. I told her that I would keep my baby. However, I did talk to some of my girlfriends about it and they told me they would get abortions. I think that I would too. But I would never be able to give my child the life that it deserved, because I wouldn't be ready.

Anyway, I think that you should tell your mom. Just because it's important that an adult knows about this situation. Good Luck. You know you can always PM me.



that doesn't even make sense...you told your mother you would keep it, but then you said you would abort it...which one is it?

jsgirl Posted at 10:11 pm on Nov. 19, 2008
Hey babygirl! I'm sorry I just saw the pregnancy topic. Had I been online before I would have definitely noticed.

If you haven't told your mom yet, I would just like to share a story about myself. Basically when I was 16 I thought I was pregnant, and pretty much right away I told my mom. The crazy thing was, was that she understood, and didn't yell like I thought she would. In fact she was really supportive and helpful. She took me to a doctor for real testing, not only for pregnancy but for STD's and it turned out that I was not pregnant.

We did talk about my options if I was pregnant. She told me flat out that I would have an abortion. I told her that I would keep my baby. However, I did talk to some of my girlfriends about it and they told me they would get abortions. I think that I would too. But I would never be able to give my child the life that it deserved, because I wouldn't be ready.

Anyway, I think that you should tell your mom. Just because it's important that an adult knows about this situation. Good Luck. You know you can always PM me.

horseylover19 Posted at 10:07 pm on Nov. 19, 2008
In one of your earlier responses you said, "he'll get a job sooner then later", then you said "he gets paid 13/hr"....i'm confused. And what's the worst thing that can happen when you tell your mother? nothing...you already live on your own. And you are very lucky if your boyfriend stays with you, very lucky. And you said that you were out of highschool already...getting your GED is in highschool. And your parents just let you quit school? Are your parents divorced?
Takinam Posted at 3:50 am on Nov. 19, 2008
It'd probably make more sense to have an abortion.

You are living on your own and I assume you barely have enough money to support yourself. If you keep your child, you'll have to go on welfare (and if you don't, you'll have to be living pay cheque to pay cheque). If you're rich, you'll have the stereotype of being teen mom. And the magnitude of responsibilities. You may have a relative to help you, but in the long run, responsibility falls on you to provide for the child. And statistically, the chances that you'll stay with the father don't amount to much.  And if you set her up for adoption, you never know where they'll end up and you'll still be a deadbeat parent. If you abort, you'll face the guilt. Whichever way you look at the situation, you're getting fucked sideways (lol, not pun intended) and you'll have to compensate for the next few years, perhaps even 18 years, if the decision you make is fitting. Pray you give birth to a child of exceptional brilliance or luck shines  upon you because you're at a disadvantage for all the young women and men who have no child to take care of, and only look out for #1 primo supremo, themselves. You can't take back this decision. It is eternal. Think about it carefully.

So, ehh, your choice. Your future. Lol @ getting fucked and getting pregnant though. The father must be proud..

" Huh? You're PREGNANT? FUC FUC FUC FUC *HEADBANG*"

I bet hes older than your 16 years of age too. Lol.

More like 19, or maybe just a bit older. Lol. And I bet you live with him too.  Anyway, have fun!

babybluebitch Posted at 10:19 pm on Nov. 18, 2008
abortion is a hard thing to deal with. but it's up to you what your gonna do about it. you need to tell the dad and talk to him about it
islandgirl Posted at 10:04 pm on Nov. 18, 2008
Quote: from OverTheAir at 8:55 am on Nov. 18, 2008

I haven't read every word of this topic, forgive me.  

If I understand correctly, you plan to live off of one salary, which is $13/hr. Now, I'm not amazing with math skills but how does a budget like that cover rent, bills, food, tuition, essentials of daily living + a newborn baby?

I'm not trying to sound like an asshole, because I like you, and it just really sucks that you have to deal with this but you have to think logically.  

How do you plan on going to community college + whatever other college being pregnant and/or with a newborn baby? You'll have to factor in babysitters/daycare as well. Sure you might have relatives of some sort that can watch but between you going to school and your boyfriend working that baby will be with those people ALL the time. That's not necessarily something that people want to take on themselves when they have their own life to deal with.

I'm just worried about you, and the baby.


I agree with this- you sound very emotionally mature for your age, so if you know your decision this is a good time to make a detailed budget.
If he's working full time (40hrs/week) at 13$ an hour he'll bring in $2080 a month- take off the tax. Go out to the store, check out how much baby things cost and start budgeting! Don't assume that your babysitting needs are taken care of before you've told anybody that you're pregnant, too. You'll probably get help, but you need to budget for an emergency babysitter. Start scrimping and saving now.
It is great that your boyfriend is supportive. That being said, make sure that you will be able to handle it if in a few years you guys split up. I'm not saying that you will, but it's a possibility you should look at.
It's good that you're planning to go to college and I really hope that you manage to! But remember, that'll cost a lot of money as well as time that could be spent with you child or working to support your child.
I really hope that all of the awful things that you have to do, like telling your parents, goes well. I really suggest you talk to somebody who is unbiased and doesn't know you, like a councilor, to get your emotional situation under control (like your suicidal issues, and your fears about what is to come)
Good luck!! I'm not trying to be mean if it came off that way

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