Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic Pregnant and in a tough spot. Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]jaybiggs[/m] at 6:59 pm on Dec. 3, 2008[quote]Before you go on to read the rest of my post..understand this. I'm not looking for your opinions on abortion. Please. I'm struggling enough with it as it is, I don't need people judging/criticizing me right now. Please. Thank you. Okay, no onto the main portion of my post. I found out the other day that I'm pregnant (I took two tests, so I'm positive that I actually am) Me and my boyfriend talked it over (He's 19, almost 20 and I'm 18, almost 19) and we decided that we are not ready to be parents. We're both still living at home, neither of us have jobs, and we're just not ready to be parents. So we pretty much decided that I was going to have an abortion. The only problem is, we're both strongly against abortions, but we honestly don't see any other choice. Adoption is completely out of the question. there's no way I will carry my baby for 9 months, and then just give him/her away. Not gonna happen, so don't even suggest that please. My parents are very strong Christians..and they're Middle Eastern. If they find out that I'm pregnant, they'll kick me out and I'll ultimately have no place to go. Same thing with my boyfriend's parents. They're strong Christians as well. I know that getting an abortion is the easy way out. I understand that. We both do. But having the baby seems to be an even worse option. So we're pretty much decided on having the abortion. I just...I can't seem to wrap my head around the idea that I'd actually do it. I've always been so against it. I've seen pictures of what happens to babies when you have an abortion, and it breaks my heart. All in all, I don't know what to do. I don't know why I'm posting this topic. I'm not exactly looking for advice..just some encouraging words or something I suppose. Like I said..I'm really struggling with this and I don't know what to do anymore. Thanks for reading and thanks for the help.[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post jaybiggs Posted at 6:59 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 Before you go on to read the rest of my post..understand this. I'm not looking for your opinions on abortion. Please. I'm struggling enough with it as it is, I don't need people judging/criticizing me right now. Please. Thank you. Okay, no onto the main portion of my post. I found out the other day that I'm pregnant (I took two tests, so I'm positive that I actually am) Me and my boyfriend talked it over (He's 19, almost 20 and I'm 18, almost 19) and we decided that we are not ready to be parents. We're both still living at home, neither of us have jobs, and we're just not ready to be parents. So we pretty much decided that I was going to have an abortion. The only problem is, we're both strongly against abortions, but we honestly don't see any other choice. Adoption is completely out of the question. there's no way I will carry my baby for 9 months, and then just give him/her away. Not gonna happen, so don't even suggest that please. My parents are very strong Christians..and they're Middle Eastern. If they find out that I'm pregnant, they'll kick me out and I'll ultimately have no place to go. Same thing with my boyfriend's parents. They're strong Christians as well. I know that getting an abortion is the easy way out. I understand that. We both do. But having the baby seems to be an even worse option. So we're pretty much decided on having the abortion. I just...I can't seem to wrap my head around the idea that I'd actually do it. I've always been so against it. I've seen pictures of what happens to babies when you have an abortion, and it breaks my heart. All in all, I don't know what to do. I don't know why I'm posting this topic. I'm not exactly looking for advice..just some encouraging words or something I suppose. Like I said..I'm really struggling with this and I don't know what to do anymore. Thanks for reading and thanks for the help.

Replies Chiefette Posted at 7:21 am on Dec. 4, 2008 It sounds to me that if you have an abortion you are going to seriously regret it, and those kinds of regrets never pass.  If your parents are as Christian as you say, would they not rather you have this baby than abort it?   So you would rather kill your baby, then give it to someone else?  That makes absolutely no sense to me.  It sounds very selfish.  The old, if I can't have her, no one can.   I think you need to sit down with your boyfriend, and probably both sets of parents and discuss this.  You are adults, they cannot make your decisions for you, but having their input may give you a second thought about what you want to do.   islandgirl Posted at 1:35 am on Dec. 4, 2008 I think that you guys have been very responsible and found the best option for you- that's the good part The bad part is it obviously will be hard. I'm as pro-choice as anybody can be, but I realize that you are having a hard time with this. Find a non-biased counselor to help you and your boyfriend out with this. Make SURE they are pro-choice and aren't going to put you down for the difficult decision you have to make. You have your decision, now you need some help to work through it so that you can move on and feel as good about it as possible. I know the pictures can be difficult to see. When it comes down to it, the fetus feels no pain. No, the pictures aren't pretty (and most of the time they are really not an accurate representation of what it's really like- a lot of it is really just junk put up there by people who want to prevent people from having an abortion at all cost). No medical procedure looks great- open heart surgery looks plain wrong but in the right places done safely it is a good thing. SeekingPurity Posted at 7:23 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 Ahh, well that's incredibly unfortunate. Usually people will just say that, didn't realize it was actually true for you, sorry. Maybe get together with a trusted adult and talk things through? jaybiggs Posted at 7:14 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 Quote: from SeekingPurity at 7:10 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 You in no way have to read or follow the advice, I'm just going to state what I believe.   What I would suggest doing is talking it over with your parents. They may be angry, but they're support and suggestions are very important. I am very anti-abortion. I feel it is completely wrong. You said not to suggest putting your baby up for an adoption, but I'm still going to do it anyway (sorry ). There are some many reasons putting your baby up for adoption could be benefitial. You wouldn't have to live with the fact that your baby is dead, you may bless an infertile couple with a wonderful baby, your baby would get to grow up and live and experience life. Please think this through fully and talk with your parents. Also, please consider putting your baby up for adoption, it may be hard, but no harder than killing it.   Best of luck in your decision, and God bless! No, you don't understand. If I tell my parents I'm pregnant, they will kick me out. No ifs/ands/or buts about it. They're Middle Eastern. It just goes with the territory. jaybiggs Posted at 7:12 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 (WARNING: GRAPHIC!!!!) http://www.abortionno.org/Resources/pictures.html I don't know if this post will get deleted or not, but just thought people would like to know what I meant when I said that I'd seen pictures. katrinadoodle Posted at 7:11 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 Abortion is not the easy way out. You are struggling with this decision, and ultimately whether you go through with it or not you will not have an easy time of it. There IS no easy way out once you get pregnant. It seems you are making the right decision for yourself, for this child, and for your future children. Good luck. -edit- my daughter clicked the mouse and made it post before I was done   SeekingPurity Posted at 7:10 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 You in no way have to read or follow the advice, I'm just going to state what I believe. What I would suggest doing is talking it over with your parents. They may be angry, but they're support and suggestions are very important. I am very anti-abortion. I feel it is completely wrong. You said not to suggest putting your baby up for an adoption, but I'm still going to do it anyway (sorry   ). There are some many reasons putting your baby up for adoption could be benefitial. You wouldn't have to live with the fact that your baby is dead, you may bless an infertile couple with a wonderful baby, your baby would get to grow up and live and experience life. Please think this through fully and talk with your parents. Also, please consider putting your baby up for adoption, it may be hard, but no harder than killing it. Best of luck in your decision, and God bless! zombie4life Posted at 7:08 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 it sounds like it is the best option for you. I hope everything works out. GOOD LUCK :) lilkelzboo Posted at 7:08 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 it's a sucky situation. what do you mean you've seen pictures of what happens after an abortion? sounds like propaganda to me. If you get it done early, there is no reason why the fetus should suffer at all. The only thing I would be worried about with the abortion if your own mental state. It's a heavy thing to do. It sounds to me the only thing your struggling with is your own hypocricy, but really that's life and you can learn from these things. Maybe abortion isn't as bad as you had once believed? Perhaps the situation can now make you sympathetic towards the people who choose it. shutter bugs Posted at 7:06 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 those pictures are absolute rubbish, if you go to a proper doctor and get an abortion it will be fine. this seems to be the only option, forget all the other stuff, because you just said why you should have an abortion and it is possibly the best option in the long run. Jokerboy719 Posted at 7:02 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 There's always a option Abortion isn't one of them Nikoleese Posted at 7:02 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 if you feel abortion is the best for all of you at the time, then thats what you need to do.  the thought of what happens to the child during the abortion is painful, but its only a small amount compared to living a life with two parents who werent ready for for it. be strong, you can make it through the abortion if you do beleive its what should be done. good luck oridniv Posted at 7:01 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 aaaawww, I hope things turn out well, If I had to have an opinion I'd definetly support you on abortion but either way I wish you well, maybe talking to a sexual health professional, or a sexual health councellor might help you clear your mind bigredron Posted at 7:01 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 Get an abortion, as it sounds like you already are going to and your only real option anyway. good luck i guess Flikted001 Posted at 7:00 pm on Dec. 3, 2008 Have the baby. You're not ready for it, maybe, but it'll come easier than you think it does. DO NOT ABORT IT. Most recent 15 of 16 previous replies displayed.