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Topic Why do I always fall for the wrong people... (long)
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Original Post
Anonymous Posted at 8:46 pm on Nov. 18, 2008
So a while ago my close friend found out that this girl liked him. For about 4 weeks she hung with our group of friends to be around him, and they would never talk, and had no real connection outside of making out. He asked her out officially a while ago, and they started going out, only to break up in 2 days. Around the second week that they were "together", she started talking to me on AIM, and we ended up talking for hours on end nearly every night, finding out that we have a good bit in common as far as personality goes.

But, it appears I'm stuck in the so-called friend zone, as she's started talking to me about her past relationships and her relationship with my friend (who still isn't over her). I've developed a lot of feelings for this girl, and I look forward to seeing her/talking to her everyday, and for a while I wanted to tell her how I felt, hoping I'd get a positive response and then I'd try to get my friend's blessing. But now I don't think I can tell her how I feel (though she probably suspects it by now) because she might still have feelings for my friend (even though she said she wouldn't get back with him). So I ask you, should I risk an extremely awkward situation and tell her how I feel, or just forget about it and somehow try to get over her?

Replies
Anonymous Posted at 10:54 pm on Nov. 19, 2008
Anyone able to offer some more words?
Anonymous Posted at 9:11 pm on Nov. 18, 2008
foreveralone Posted at 8:57 pm on Nov. 18, 2008
Well this all depends, you can risk telling her your feelings but if you actually like talking to her without the prospect of being anything more than friends then this will end poorly for you. Once you breach that relationship discussion gap, you pretty much preclude any return to simple friendship because she'll know you kind of want to jump her bones...that will make her more reserved around you so that you don't think that its going anywhere. Eventually conversation will become too difficult because every word has to be carefully guarded and you will slowly and painfully drift apart. Scenario two is somewhat more pleasant if you have a taste for substance abuse: You can swallow your feelings and maintain friendship only to watch her get into relationship after relationship with jackass guys. Oh, and thats not all, she'll want to tell you all about every problem she has in each of these relationships and you'll either have to help her (which you will probably do because that at least allows you to guide her away from real dick guys) or you can say "fuck i dont know what to tell you" and you'll slowly drift apart once she realizes you're not interested in helping her with every aspect of her life. Women are rather needy, no matter what the age, and they like affirmation and help. So, if you do select this path, you should cultivate a taste for a dark liquor, preferably scotch (single malt is truly the best) or bourbon (kentucky straight or Tennesee sour mash). This way you can at least get black-out drunk in a bar and go home with a somewhat acceptable piece of bar trash once every so often. This will probably help you keep your sanity at the time but in the morning, with the hangover will also come the feeling that you didn't quite quell what ailed you. This is simply because you suffer from unrequited love. Again, be careful because the only salve for this rash is to get over the girl. SOme may tell you to try to win her over but women generally make their decision about a guy in the first two meetings so if you're in the friend zone as they say, you're pretty much stuck there. People do get out of the friend zone, but only by accident, usually at some bogus holiday part when you're both smashed and even then its a 50-50. chin up, though, there's plenty of bourbon to drown out that one girl.
alastrxxna Posted at 8:48 pm on Nov. 18, 2008
Always, always tell them how you feel. Things make more sense this way.
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