Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic A little confusing. Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]Chiefette[/m] at 9:18 am on Dec. 4, 2008[quote]I don't respond as it is.  He doesn't even know he is doing it, therefore it doesn't matter what reaction I give him.  [/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post Chiefette Posted at 8:44 am on Dec. 4, 2008 Okay, I am married, so obviously not interested in this guy as anything more than a friend, and he knows that.  He flirts with me constantly, and he doesn't realize that he is doing it.  We work together, so we see each other on a regular basis.  I have said something to him about it before, and it would stop for a few days, then start again.  He knows my husband, and is scared shitless of him, but he still does it.  I don't want to hurt his feelings, but it is getting annoying.

Replies Chiefette Posted at 1:43 pm on Dec. 4, 2008 My superior at work is a moron.  He is stupid as all get up, and is being accused of sexual harrassment.  I use to have a great boss, but he moved.  Technically I do'nt have a superior though.  I am one of the top two in my department, and technically have superiority out of the two of us.   He isn't really doing anything wrong.  He hasn't made any suggestions.  He just flirts.  There is nothing against flirting.  He doesn't touch, he doesn't make suggestions...  I don't want him to get into trouble, because I sincerely believe he doens't realize he is doing it.   amiee Posted at 1:40 pm on Dec. 4, 2008 Talk to someone superior at work? I understand you want to deal with this yourself but if it's making you feel uncomfortable and he won't listen then there's not much else you can actually do. Other people need to be brought into it because what he's doing is wrong - you've asked him to stop and he won't - so you need to find a way of getting him to listen. It's not really a case of someone else fighting your battles. It's allowing someone to step in when you realise there's nothing else you can do. You don't have to do it maliciously or anything, but perhaps hearing it from someone else will shock him a bit into realising what he's doing. Chiefette Posted at 11:31 am on Dec. 4, 2008 Block him?  I'm not talking about internet conversations here. nik1 Posted at 11:27 am on Dec. 4, 2008 Innocent flirtations are harmless but there should be a line drawn as to what he can say and do.  You have to decide what that line is.  If his conversations are sexual, tell him to stop it.  If he's touching you...tell him to stop.  If his comments are suggestive.....block him.   Chiefette Posted at 9:36 am on Dec. 4, 2008 I don't want my husband to have to fight my battles though.  It isn't his problem in all honesty, why bring him into it.   amiee Posted at 9:34 am on Dec. 4, 2008 Oh, I see! That makes it different then, definitely =\ And awkward too, by the sounds of it... Get your husband to go have a word? :P Ok, I actually know that's not an ideal solution. Gosh, what a tricky one. I'll go think about it and come back if anything pops up! I hope someone comes along with some sort of reasonable solution though. That sounds terribly awkward. Chiefette Posted at 9:31 am on Dec. 4, 2008 He doesn't flirt with any of the other girls at work though.  It is just me.  He has told me that he likes me, and that if I wasn't married he would ask me out.  So I know that the intention is there, but he doesn't seem to realize it.   I have talked to him about it numerous times, and it just doesn't help.  It's not like I can just step back really either.  I have to work with him.  I would end up seeing him anyway.  He tends not to flirt when my husband is around, but he cannot be around all the time.  AND he has a girlfriend, long distance, but still.  He is always on the phone with her, and sees her regularly. amiee Posted at 9:26 am on Dec. 4, 2008 Sounds like he's perhaps a naturally flirtatious guy. I have loads of friends like that - they flirt but it's all in good fun and doesn't actually mean anything. They can be ok but only if you can put up, and feel comfortable, with it. If you don't then it definitely needs sorting out because it's not fair on you, or your husband!, to live with it! Maybe you could try talking to him one last time. Letting him know that you'd like him to stop for the sake of the friendship... thing is, because you've already told him that you want him to stop before and because he does it without even realising it sounds like part of who he is. Maybe it comes down to you either putting up with it (if he doesn't respond when you speak to him) or taking a step back from the friendship. Chiefette Posted at 9:18 am on Dec. 4, 2008 I don't respond as it is.  He doesn't even know he is doing it, therefore it doesn't matter what reaction I give him.   jimbob is queen Posted at 9:16 am on Dec. 4, 2008 Just ignore it. Literally do not respond in anyway when he does it and eventually it will bore him. Older guys do that to me all of the time and its stupid so I stop it. Chiefette Posted at 8:47 am on Dec. 4, 2008 Yea, he knows, and it severely pisses him off, but they are on a acquaintance level, and still relatively friendly.  My husband knows that I am friends with him, and doesn't want to ruin that.  I am friends with people I only see through him as well, so I don't want to cut off contact or anything like that. dreamon Posted at 8:45 am on Dec. 4, 2008 Does your husband know about this? All 12 previous replies displayed.