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Topic My girlfriend is pregnant.
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Original Post
Anonymous Posted at 3:18 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
This may be long, but I REALLY need advice for real.

*by the way, I'm almost 18 and she's 17

The other day my girlfriend called me crying, actually crying is an understatement, she was bawling to the point I thought something went extremely wrong, and she asked me to 'please come over'. So, of course I went, and she was still bawling and I couldn't even understand her when she was talking, then she showed me a pregnancy test. It was positive, the only reason I was shocked is because not only is she on birth control, but she ALWAYS makes me wear condoms AND pull out (mistakes obviously happen) when we have sex, granted we have sex all the time. To be honest, and I know it's stupid, but if I were to have kids with anyone it would definitely be her, I've been with her for 2 years, known her for 11, and I am in complete love with her...and I have a promising, well paying job for me RIGHT after high school (I know nothing is guaranteed, but it's a well off family business) and she will definitely be something brilliant one day no matter what happens of this situation. I tried calming her down and told her maybe it was wrong, and to get a test done at the doctors. So she did, and the today she got the results and they were positive, and she's in her 6th week. She called me during her lunch and she was bawling and she was all "I should have fucking known when I'm sitting hear eating a fucking pickle and peanut butter sandwich and I'll throw it up in about a half an hour" and she went home. I went to her house after school and she, once again, was bawling and she was like "my life is fucking RUINED, RUINED I mine as well just fucking kill myself it's all over...if I have a baby don't even get me started on that, if I have an abortion or give it up for adoption I'll live with the thought so I'm just offing myself, GET IT?! Offing myself" and it made me cry...because I've never seen her so serious, or suicidal in my life. She's usually always happy, funny, smart, and fun, but this REALLY fucked her up. Not only because she's pregnant, it's just that she's always made sure we were careful...she's also being really insecure, which isn't really a usual thing. She's all "I'm going to get so fat and ugly it's not even funny, and college? HAH! Try that when you've got a 10 pound bastard sucking on your tit", when she KNOWS she is gorgeous (though she's humble) and I NEVER see her shallow, so hateful (especially towards a baby), or as bad of a mouth. She's really scaring me, her parents don't know (which is for the better at the time being, they will KILL her), and only two of her best friends know. Seriously, if the school or even one more person finds out (obviously aside from you all) I'm worried she will do something. I'm thinking she's probably going to have an abortion, and even though if she decided to keep the baby I would be there for her, I support any decision she makes.

All in all, she's not acting like herself, it's really scary, she's either really mean or really nice (which I understand, but even when she's nice it's not like her usual self, it's different), has CRAZY mood swings, she's always sad...and I'm thinking it would be a terrible decision on our/her part to keep the baby...

Please advice? What the hell do I do?

Replies
anna rachelle Posted at 10:50 pm on Dec. 4, 2008

A baby is such a beautiful thing,
I'm serious. Whatever you do,
Discourage her from aborting the
baby, please.
My sister was alot like that when
she got pregnant. She REALLLLLY
wanted to get an abortion and
hated her whole pregnancy.
She had the doctors number
and everything. and her stepmom
had her pretty much talked into it.
but becuase of my mom,
She didnt get it.
She was pisseddddd at my mom.

Now, the baby is three monthes old.
and my sister loves her to PIECES.
She THANKED my mom for talking
her out of it.

Her moodiness is quite normal,
they get like that. lol.

lucky015 Posted at 7:29 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
Go over to her place, Hold her in your arms, and tell her everything is going to be ok, And that you love her and will be there for her for what ever she wants, Keep in mind that just because shes in a bad mood doesnt mean shes a bad person, Also remember to make sure that she knows that you DONT think shes done anything wrong or would be doing anything wrong with any decision she makes, Be there for her, Tell her how much you love her and that you want to be with her, And if she mentions suicide again tell her that that would mean you lose her and you never want that to happen, Good luck dude...
kevzef Posted at 5:44 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
oh man i think you should talk to like a professional or a counselor, they should keep it confidential, i wish you and your gf the best of luck.
spartan09 Posted at 3:41 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
I wouldn't tell her to get an abortion. Especially with this kind of stress already on her, the guilt that can sometimes come from an abortion could be extremely overwhelming for her.

Also, the physical complications that abortions have can be dangerous for her life, too. I would not recommend getting one.

Your best bet is to go with her to talk to the family. Don't keep this hidden from her family- get their advice, talk to them first. They might be more willing to help out if they understand that you two were doing your best to be responsible and mature.

Best of luck with whatever your decision comes to man. This kind of stuff is really hard to go through.

meow666 Posted at 3:34 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
congrats :D
the seer Posted at 3:34 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
oh wow, im so sorry she is so upseat by this. she should really be glad she has someone like you, because there are not many people (that i know personaly anyway) your age who would be there for her and support whatever dicision she made. kudos on being a good boyfriend. :D
isobel Posted at 3:29 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
Not that much you can do now. Just be there for her, support her in every step of the way, whatever you both decide is best. She is in shock, she's confused, she doesn't know what to do, so not acting like herself isn't that weird given the situation. Try to calm her down and support her. Let her see it's not the end of the world, show her you're there for her and will still be there for her no matter what. It's a very delicate situation, and frankly, I've never been in that situation, so I cannot fully understand what she's going through, I can only imagine and I'd probably freak out just as much.
Anonymous Posted at 3:29 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
Quote: from switchfoott052 at 3:25 pm on Dec. 4, 2008

she can give it up for adoption to a couple that can't have children or she can raise it herself and you get to either help her or pay child support

To be honest, I think it's either keeping it or abortion. She's definitely pro choice and has a problem (Actual babies, rather than fetuses being aborted, not getting love or adopted upsets her) with adoption.

musicfan3 Posted at 3:27 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
Quote: from Flikted001 at 3:25 pm on Dec. 4, 2008

Quote: from musicfan3 at 3:19 pm on Dec. 4, 2008

Well congrats your now a father.
soon to be father.

Does it matter? The point is the baby is a living person/creature that he helped create.

Anonymous Posted at 3:26 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
Quote: from SomeoneSaveUs at 3:21 pm on Dec. 4, 2008

It is almost impossible to get pregnant if you take all the precautions you said every single time. It could be a false positive or the baby may not be yours.

Keyword ALMOST...it still happens. She wouldn't string me along making me think it was my baby, no matter the outcome, if that were the case.

And she went to the doctors, it was positive.

bigdutchman Posted at 3:25 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
Make sure you really talk to each other about what you want to do. Have her talk to a counselor if you can't calm her down...

If I was in your situation I'd want the girl to keep it too... But with the way she's taking it it's not that simple.

That's up to you guys to figure out though. All you're gonna find here is opinions, and it's your guys' opinions that matter.

switchfoott052 Posted at 3:25 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
she can give it up for adoption to a couple that can't have children or she can raise it herself and you get to either help her or pay child support
Flikted001 Posted at 3:25 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
Quote: from musicfan3 at 3:19 pm on Dec. 4, 2008

Well congrats your now a father.
soon to be father.
Chiefette Posted at 3:25 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
If she is talking about suicide you need to tell someone.  If you don't and she does kill herself, her blood is on your hands.  Can you live with that?  You just need to sit down with her, tell her to calm the f down, and talk.  She needs to handle this like an adult.  She thought she was mature enough to have sex, she should be mature enough to think about this rationally.  Her life isn't over.  A baby doesn't end your life.  It may complicate it a bit, but it won't end it.  You are going to have to decide what you think is best, and suggest to her what you want to do, after all this is half your deal.  
LittleBombs Posted at 3:25 pm on Dec. 4, 2008
It's probably her hormones going crazy, and also the fact that she didn't want a baby that has upset her so much. I think the both of you should sit down and talk about what would be best. Remember it's your baby too, and you have the decision in what happens with it just as much as her.

Talking to her is the best thing to do right now.

Most recent 15 of 25 previous replies displayed.