Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic I need advice.... Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]sammiroo[/m] at 8:48 am on Jan. 2, 2009[quote]Maybe you need closure with your ex before you have sex with your new boyfriend. Don't force yourself to do it before you're ready.[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post lalacakes Posted at 8:46 am on Jan. 2, 2009 ALright My ex boyfriend and i went out for 2 years and I lost my virginity to him and loved him so much. He treated me like shit though. He didnt let me have any friends, I had to ask him permission to go places, hit hit me, and he cheated on me 4 times, and he was allowed to go to partys but he never took me & told me that I wasnt allowed to go. But i dont know why but i still love him. But now I have a new boyfriend that is soo nice to me. he doesnt do any of that stuff. he trusts me. And he tells me im beautiful and that he loves me everyday. But I still can't forget about my ex and it has been 4 months since we broke up.         I just dont know what to do. And I feel like I cant have sex with my new boyfriend. He really wants to he isnt pressuring me or anything but there has been times when things get very heated up then i pull away and stop it for no reason. I just cant go through with it. Mabey if i have sex with him i will forget about my ex faster and love my new guy better? im so confused please help.

Replies sammiroo Posted at 2:08 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 Quote: from lalacakes at 8:49 am on Jan. 2, 2009 Quote: from sammiroo at 8:48 am on Jan. 2, 2009 Maybe you need closure with your ex before you have sex with your new boyfriend.    Don't force yourself to do it before you're ready. closure, what do you mean by that? Well, I don't know if it's possible in your situation, but closure is basically talking everything over with your ex, or at the very least, telling him that you don't appreciate how he treated you. Something like that. For me, it was telling my ex that I don't regret our past relationship, and I did love him, but I'm glad things turned out the way they did. lucky015 Posted at 10:10 am on Jan. 2, 2009 And for the record, I have a higher opinion of guys that go out and kill the guy their wife was cheating on them with, than guys who hit their wives or gf's... At least the former was part of an instinct, Hitting your wife or gf is simply to scare them into thinking that they will be hit again if they disobey their "Master" which is pretty much what they allow the guy to become... lucky015 Posted at 10:07 am on Jan. 2, 2009 Quote: from mbs55 at 6:38 am on Jan. 3, 2009 No offense, but I feel the need to hit you over the head with a hammer. He didn't let you have friends, you needed HIS permission to go places, he cheated on you not once, not twice, not thrice, but FOUR times, and on top of all of that, he physically abused you, yet you still love this prick? This sorry excuse for a guy should not be that hard to get over at ALL, and I don't care how long you were with him. You should just be relieved that you don't have to deal with his ass anymore and that you have found someone that loves you and actually cares about you. I don't get it. What's the dilemma here? Sorry if I was a bit blunt and/or harsh, but it's the truth. Sounds like the she loved the ex was because he is a angry nasty asshole, and that fits the description of the bad guy attitude which girls can grow to love soo much, She loved him because he was an asshole, She both loved and hated him for the same reason... Im like the second guy, And im always hearing about guys treating girls like shit, If i was ever to see a guy treating a girl in public like he treated her i dont think i'd be able to stop myself from beating the shit out of him... No guy should treat a girl like shit, and if they do then they arent worth her talking to let alone her being with him, following his orders and making him happy... ballin23 Posted at 9:57 am on Jan. 2, 2009 try and forget about your old bf he sounds like a douche mbs55 Posted at 9:38 am on Jan. 2, 2009 No offense, but I feel the need to hit you over the head with a hammer. He didn't let you have friends, you needed HIS permission to go places, he cheated on you not once, not twice, not thrice, but FOUR times, and on top of all of that, he physically abused you, yet you still love this prick?   This sorry excuse for a guy should not be that hard to get over at ALL, and I don't care how long you were with him. You should just be relieved that you don't have to deal with his ass anymore and that you have found someone that loves you and actually cares about you. I don't get it. What's the dilemma here? Sorry if I was a bit blunt and/or harsh, but it's the truth. 2kewl4u2know Posted at 9:09 am on Jan. 2, 2009 Four months you say?  Then it's understandable you have yet to get over, not only a long-term, 2 year relationship, but a relationship with your first love and sexual partner.  That's a big, and very important relationship, even if it didn't turn out well.  Now, I'm not saying you were wrong in breaking it off with him, because you weren't, but it is going to take longer than 4 months to get over him, and having sex with your boyfriend isn't necessarily going to make things easier. The only thing you can do is give it time.  In all honestly though, you will probably always still care for him some.  My older sister was in a similar relationship like you when she was young.  She still wonders where he is every now and then, but she's now happily married to a man she loves more and they have two beautiful boys together.  Now, I'm not saying this guy you're happy with now is the person you'll get married to, but it's just to help you understand the reality. The truth is, 4 months is a little fast to move on for such an important relationship.  So, stay with this guy if you really like him, but don't rush yourself, it might make you just feel worse. Also, even when you are over this guy, there will be times when you might think back on him, but don't feel bad about that, it's natural.  The important thing to remember is that you're with someone who really cares for you and treats you right. hollie midgley Posted at 8:55 am on Jan. 2, 2009 ur ex sounds lyk a prick just 4get about him and get on with ur life bbe k xxx thats wht everyone told me to do and it takes tym but u will get there Shell1993 Posted at 8:51 am on Jan. 2, 2009 it's hard, but you have to focus on how horrbile your ex was to you. you didnt deserve that. at least your new boyf is treating you well :D thisisrlywierd Posted at 8:49 am on Jan. 2, 2009 I don't think having sex with your new guy is going to help you get over your ex, only time will. The longer you are without your ex the better it will be your just not over it yet, but if ur ex does call I wouldn't get back with that haha lalacakes Posted at 8:49 am on Jan. 2, 2009 Quote: from sammiroo at 8:48 am on Jan. 2, 2009 Maybe you need closure with your ex before you have sex with your new boyfriend. Don't force yourself to do it before you're ready. closure, what do you mean by that? xxslipknotwhorexx Posted at 8:48 am on Jan. 2, 2009 you need to get over your ex he sounds like a wanker. sammiroo Posted at 8:48 am on Jan. 2, 2009 Maybe you need closure with your ex before you have sex with your new boyfriend. Don't force yourself to do it before you're ready. All 12 previous replies displayed.